Author Topic: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?  (Read 2976 times)

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Offline Frank

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How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« on: December 12, 2009, 08:04:15 PM »
Now that he's announced he's taking an indefinite absence from golf to spend more time with his money, erm, I mean his family. Also now that his various sponsors are dumping him it's looks like rehabilitation in the eyes of the American public is the order of the day.

Now no rehabilitation is complete without finding Jeeeeeeeeesusss! So how long before do you give it? I say 6 to 8 months.
"Atheism is not a mission to convert the world. It only seems that way because when other religions fall away, atheism is what is left behind".

Offline GetMeThere

Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2009, 08:16:24 PM »
This should probably be in Religions and Personalities.

But, I agree. "Finding god" is a well known strategy for those seeking favor in the public eye.

Although...how many people with $600 million (especially those with rock solid prenups), and more coming almost no matter what, make great efforts to seek public favor?

Offline Agamemnon

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2009, 08:18:06 PM »
Although less likely, he might find Allah, instead. Wouldn't that be a hoot?
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.  --Bertrand Russell

Offline bgb

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2009, 08:25:24 PM »
He's perfect for Rick Warren to save. His game will never be the same.
The whole point of science is that most of it is uncertain. That's why science is exciting--because we don't know. Science is all about things we don't understand. The public, of course, imagines science is just a set of facts. But it's not.  Freeman Dyson

Offline Ananukia

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2009, 08:40:39 PM »
kraujo ponas khorn, kaukoles statyti jo sost?!
        Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
    Where flap the tatters of the King,
    Must die unheard in

        Dim Carcosa.

Offline GetMeThere

Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2009, 08:42:28 PM »
Although less likely, he might find Allah, instead. Wouldn't that be a hoot?

No way. That would be bad for business.

Offline Nick

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2009, 08:46:18 PM »
Maybe he should just tell everyone to go to hell.  Why should he have to play the games that society and the media want.  He does not need the money, he can play golf if he wants or just quit.  He owes no explaination to anyone but his wife.

We sure like a train wreck as a society.  The way this is going you would have thought he had murdered 10 or 12 people while playing the back 9.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline kin hell

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2009, 08:46:21 PM »
........a golfer must display good morals?
   
Perhaps he'll be able to share his wisdom on how to stop global warming now that he has more free time. 
Of course that's only if he is not too busy advising Obama on North Korea's long term geopolitical plans.


It's like I really want to hear leonardo d'capprio's position on the relative merits of encyclopaedia britannica on disc.

Tiger woods is just another dick    ....attached to superb golfing skills and the normal human failings ....given the temptations his skillset/$$$ brought him.



Will he find god?  very possibly, will he cry in public asking forgiveness? .............I could give a shit.


I love the question though Frank    I suspect the next question should be..

Do people actually believe these just saved repenters?

Or is it all some sort of theatre of the divine demented, where the act of public repentance is enough in itself?

I've never understood the cult of celebrity in any of it's forms.
"...but on a lighter note, demons were driven from a pig today in Gloucester."  Bill Bailey

all edits are for spelling or grammar unless specified otherwise

Offline Agamemnon

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2009, 09:09:04 PM »
Although less likely, he might find Allah, instead. Wouldn't that be a hoot?

No way. That would be bad for business.

What Nick said...
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.  --Bertrand Russell

Offline FrenchCapuccino

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2009, 09:48:07 PM »
Lol, I'm giving it a week! ;D

But honestly, I just feel bad for his wife&kids cause this story is getting ridiculous and I'm sure, totally twisted by the media.



Offline StPatrick

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2009, 10:31:29 PM »
So how long before do you give it?

3...2...1...
If we come together and do not fight over religion, class and borders then we hold the key to a peaceful world. There are two possible futures in store; either a March of power and greed or a March of a unified human race.

Offline xphobe

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2009, 10:46:07 PM »
Judging from the looks of some of those hot babes he's been shagging[1]  I'd say he's already found God :)
 1. golf term meaning "chasing down", of course
I stopped believing for a little while this morning. Journey is gonna be so pissed when they find out...

Online superfly

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #12 on: December 13, 2009, 01:36:21 AM »
Now that he's announced he's taking an indefinite absence from golf...

He should keep playing golf and take an indefinite absence from sticking his (allegedly) huge wiener in women other than his wife.  :D

J/K I couldn't care less who he shtups. Somewhere John Daly is giggling like a 12 year old school girl.
Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile!
Kurt Vonnegut

Offline One Above All

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #13 on: December 13, 2009, 02:55:10 AM »
i say 3 months before he somehow manages to find god. ever watch the new episodes of supernatural? castiel certainly isnt going to find god
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

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Offline hickdive

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #14 on: December 13, 2009, 05:20:43 AM »
The way this is going you would have thought he had murdered 10 or 12 people while playing the back 9.

Now that would improve the spectacle of televised golf immensely.

How long 'til xmas? I'd bet on a sudden conversion at a midnight service, in a suitably snowy location, in a small town with a cute church, with TV cameras outside.
Stupidity, unlike intelligence, has no limits.

Offline Nick

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2009, 09:02:14 AM »
Now that he's announced he's taking an indefinite absence from golf...

He should keep playing golf and take an indefinite absence from sticking his (allegedly) huge wiener in women other than his wife.  :D

J/K I couldn't care less who he shtups. Somewhere John Daly is giggling like a 12 year old school girl.
Maybe all those years of crowds yelling, "Get it in the hole", had an affect on him. ;)
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Online superfly

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #16 on: December 13, 2009, 10:51:33 AM »
 :D

I've seen some of the women who have claimed to have been involved with Tiger...he ain't getting "RAWK STAR" chicks.  &)
Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile!
Kurt Vonnegut

Offline jedweber

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #17 on: December 13, 2009, 11:01:34 AM »
........a golfer must display good morals?  

If you want to make millions of dollars from product endorsements, then probably yes.

Offline Agamemnon

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #18 on: December 13, 2009, 05:29:22 PM »
I think the question should be "How long before Tiger Woods BECOMES God?"
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.  --Bertrand Russell

Offline kin hell

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #19 on: December 13, 2009, 05:52:21 PM »
........a golfer must display good morals?  

If you want to make millions of dollars from product endorsements, then probably yes.


True jed   ............how frustrating to be held in check by $ reality.   

Yet I thought the whole sex sells idea would've given him a good rebuttal position against any corporate disciplining 
.................."hey I use your product, ...............and look who I'm fucking ...." 
"...but on a lighter note, demons were driven from a pig today in Gloucester."  Bill Bailey

all edits are for spelling or grammar unless specified otherwise

Offline Agamemnon

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Re: How long before Tiger Woods finds God?
« Reply #20 on: December 13, 2009, 06:07:05 PM »
  .................."hey I use your product, ...............and look who I'm fucking ...." 

...And now that everybody KNOWS who he's fucking it's even better for the sponsors. I can't see how they could view that as anything other than pure win.
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.  --Bertrand Russell