Homophobes need to embrace the term.
Just admit that you don't want gays to have the same rights as you do. Admit that you want them to live sad, marginal lives of fear, shame and secrecy. Admit that you want them to pretend to be heterosexuals and get married to people they cannot feel attraction to. You want them to lie to themselves and others if they want to be accepted by people like you who will always despise them anyway and discriminate against them.
You put gays in the same category as people who molest children and do the nasty with animals. If you could, you would put people who "choose the gay lifestyle" in jail, or into mental institutions, or force them to get electric shock, or take drugs to destroy their sexuality. For their own good. Because all that worked so well in the 30's, 40's and 50's.
And if those "treatments" fail, there is always the option of suicide, still more prevalent among gay teens than straight teens. Some religious a$$holes, I mean parents, even push their children into suicide. Better they go to heaven as celibate virgins than act on their gayness and end up in hell, right? Or else they get put out of their homes and end up on the street where the wonderful world of drugs and exploitation await them. Do you know that a majority of homeless youth in Utah are gay kids abandoned by their religious families?
Why are you ashamed to be called a homophobe? If you don't like gay folks, you are afraid of what effect they have on you and on society. You are afraid they will destroy what it means to be male and female. You are afraid they will destroy your marriage. You are afraid of laws that give them the same chance at life as you. You are afraid of them flaunting their deviance by openly holding any job, serving freely in the military, running for office, having a business, being served in any establishment, buying a house anywhere they want, getting married and raising children like normal people. They make you fearful and uneasy. The best you can do is feel sorry for them, and hope it isn't catching. Of course, you pray to your god that they will just stop being gay.
You are a homophobe. Be proud.
If someone is against incest, I wouldn't call them an incestophobe.
If someone is against bestiality, I wouldn't call them a beastophobe.
If someone is against pedophilia, I wouldn't call them a pedophobe.
Wouldn't that sounds ridiculous if I did call them that?
They are either sexual attractions you are born with, or they are free choices. You can't cherry pick which ones are free choices and which ones aren't. It's very scary for people to think about the fact that pedophiles might have been born with an attraction to children.