How does being able to count on your partner being with you, have anything to do with monogamy?
Most relationships end at some point, monogamous or not.
For many people, there's an emotional connection with sex and intimacy, so, if I'm having sex with new people, I'm potentially connecting with them and falling for them and realizing all the ways that they are "better" than my current partner, and, she's doing the same. It's possible to use harder drugs casually and not become addicted, but, probably the best way not to become addicted is to avoid using hard drugs. It might be possible to have an open relationship and never end up meeting someone who replaces your partner, but, I think it's more likely.
So for me and my partner, we want to try to minimize the risks to us breaking up.
Additionally, we're both middle age, we've both had other relationships, and, we have a lot of fun together. This has been the best, most laid back, most satisfying relationship I've ever had. We've both been cheated on, we both don't like that feeling. Chances are, we're not likely to find someone better, and neither of us wants to risk it. We're ready to cash in our winnings and enjoy the profit, so to speak. She's had girls that she was friends with steal her boyfriends. I've experienced being cheated on. Neither of us likes it, or wants to experience something similar, even if it's pre-agreed... "You go in that room and screw that guy, I'll go in this room and screw his wife..."
I guess for us it's like a fetish that we're not interested in. Some people like to be peed on, or dress up as a furry... I don't care if they do, it's just not something that we see that turns us on.
We've watched all kinds of porn and documentaries on stuff, and when I see documentaries on the swinging lifestyle, I get that they're good people... but I'm not drawn to it.
For me, I've always wanted a lifetime, loyal relationship, for better or worse, including taking the negative aspects of it too. I'm kind of an introvert who prefers small groups and close friends who are wired similarly. I can be outgoing at a social situation, but, it wears me out.
I was at a resort in Jamaica once, sitting at a piano bar, talking to the bartender with my partner. It turned out, this lady had worked at one of their swinging resorts. I laughed and said to her, "You must have some insane stories." She said that mostly she remembers people doing things, then sitting alone the next morning, crying and drinking. For her it wasn't glamorous at all, and maybe the negative experiences stuck out to her.
So yeah... most relationships end, and they're tough to prolong, but, it's something that I want. I've seen happy old couples that have worked hard to make it that far, and, I want that, and, I purposely tried to marry someone who I thinks wants the same thing. Knock on wood, if we're lucky, we'll get there.
I love the way her parents are together... my parents made it until death do they part too, but, weren't quite as functional and happy as hers are. I love seeing healthy relationships and I'm hopeful that we can maintain ours.
If someone else can manage that in a swinging lifestyle, more power to them. I just don't think I have the willpower to handle my feelings about it, plus, I've definitely seen X-Rated stuff that has turned me on, and wanted to try it with my partner, but, I've never really been turned on by the stuff that features threesomes or swapping. It's just not my thing. It's like if you watched a bunch of Real Sex, on HBO... probably half the stuff, you might say, "Wow, that looks cool." And the other half, you're like, "Meh, not for me."
BTW, I totally agree about the hypocrisy among politicians. I'm not rich or famous, and I'm moderately fit and moderately good looking, but not so much that I'm fighting off advances. I don't know if I'd have the willpower to stay loyal if I was a rock star or politician and people were throwing it at me. As a guy, you get used to having to pursue, so, it's a challenge to be pursued by someone attractive and say no to it. Ron White did a bit about Tiger Woods sleeping around, while pretending to be loyal, and he commented that most guys who are loyal have never had an opportunity to cheat... so if Tiger had 60,000 opportunities to cheat, and only cheated 12 times, his percentages are pretty good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPGuD2WTDaQ
For me, I wouldn't say my relationship is boring at all, but, I'm also perfectly content that it's not crazy all the time. It's less stressful to me that way.
I do think for someone wired like Tiger or even like that to some degree, he's better off in a swinging/open relationship, because at least it's honest. If he's in a swinging relationship, it's not like he's doing something behind his wife's back.