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Main Discussion Zone => The Shelter => Topic started by: junebug72 on September 21, 2013, 07:33:07 AM

Title: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on September 21, 2013, 07:33:07 AM
So I had my 2nd treatment Monday and I've just about had it.  I called them on Wednesday and said I really don't want to finish.  The staff there makes me feel like they don't trust me.  When she pushed that needle in my port I felt so violated it triggered my PTSD.  Now I really don't ever want to step foot back in that place again. Just thinking about it causes some serious anxiety.

I got thrush mouth real bad again and I can't get this nasty taste out of my mouth.

The e-cig has helped a lot with the smoking.  I still haven't given up the morning and after meal smokes but I'm doing good for me.

I am very discouraged right now I need Traveler.  :'(
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on September 21, 2013, 04:01:05 PM
I've been trying to reply all afternoon, and keep getting an error.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on September 21, 2013, 04:04:02 PM
Oh, sweetie, I'm so very sorry you're having such a hard time of it.  :( I'm still trying to post my reply, but it seems to only let me post a very short note. :(
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on September 21, 2013, 05:15:53 PM
There are several things that helped me with my anxiety. First and foremost, ask your doctor if there's medication that might help you. My oncologist gave me a prescription for diazepam. She said to take one before I left home, and another when I arrived at the cancer center. It definitely helped.

I also like to pretend. During stressful procedures I sometimes pretend that I'm scuba diving. I close my eyes and tell the doctor or nurse what I'm doing, and ask them not to talk with me unless they have to, so as to let my imagination sweep me away from the procedure.

If you have anyone in your life who you find cheerful and/or calm, ask them to come with you. Let them hold your hand, or look into your eyes, or whatever it will take to distract you.

You can also get a numbing agent for the skin over your port. Most people used it. There is also a numbing cream you can get from the oncologist. As I recall, they said to put that on some period of time before you go in. They can also give you a shot, although of course that's still a stick, though a smaller one.

In your case, perhaps prayer of some kind will help. Start well before you go in, with requests for calm and peace and courage. Ask, in your imagination, for a strong supporter. I sometimes imagine a lion walking beside me, lending me his strength and courage. Or imagine an eagle flying above you, or a gentle baby animal that you are protecting. The mind is a powerful and amazing thing. Let it work for you.

I will be in NC within the next week or so. Perhaps once I get settled in, and through opening weekend, we can get together to talk.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on September 22, 2013, 04:45:02 AM
It would be nice to finally meet.  I'm very seriously thinking about only taking 1 more treatment.  The feeling of distrust started over the ativan they give me for "nausea".  I had been taking 2 mg and they gave me 1 mg to start my chemo.  Needless to say they were ineffective unless I took 2.  Apparently I have to see a psychiatrist to get those kinds of drugs.  I can't catch a break.  My unemployment runs out in a couple of weeks and I just don't know how I'm going to make it.  I want to apply for disability but it can take up to 2 years to get approved.  i'm feeling very screwed about right now.  At least my son is grown and making his own way. 

I really thank you for your support and encouragement.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Nick on September 22, 2013, 10:17:41 AM
A good example why our health care system needs to be a universal system.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Jag on September 22, 2013, 11:12:23 AM
Aw crap sweetie, this just sucks. I've got nothing useful to offer, but you are in my thoughts often. Hang in there and accept whatever help presents itself.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on September 22, 2013, 11:56:38 AM
Yeah, the anti-nausea drugs never did me much good.

My thoughts are these. It is a pain in the ass. It hurts. It sucks. Pick your negative description, and it applies to chemo. BUT, chemo is temporary. It eventually ends. Death is permanent. I feel great now. My hair is probably longer than its ever been before. I have my sense of taste back, I'm never nauseated anymore, and no one is sticking needles into an alien contraption in my chest. I'm ALIVE!!! I'm (relatively) HEALTHY!!! And I've learned so very much about myself. Would I do it again? Damn right I would. It would suck, it would terrify me, and I'd hate every minute of it. But it saves lives.

You know what was my greatest worry during treatment? Money. Yup, money. Our health care system sucks perhaps worse than cancer. I had insurance, but the out-of-pocket was astronomical. My mom helped me out ... thank goodness for moms with healthy savings accounts. I worried more about money than I did about my treatments. How sick is that?

I don't know what to tell you, except that I hope you will choose to fight for your life. I know its hard ... trust me, I know. But you CAN get through it, and years from now, when you're alive, admiring a sunrise, or talking with a dear friend, you'll be glad you did.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: LoriPinkAngel on September 22, 2013, 09:31:15 PM
I'm sorry you are going through so much crap.  I am shocked that your chemo center doesn't some type of some support team to help you deal with these type of things.  I would think it would be part of the treatment.  Ati-van (Lor-aze-pam) is not for nausea.  It is for mild to moderate anxiety.  They should be giving you Zofran (Odansetron) for nausea.  You should be getting Xan-ax (Al-prazo-lam) or Dia-ze-pam (Val-ium) for moderate to severe anxiety.  You also should have a mouthwash with Nystatin to reduce the thrush.  The anti-anxiety meds do need to be prescribed by a psychiatrist but the oncologist should be able to give you the Zofran and the mouthwash.  They should give you 4%  Lidocaine cream for your port site.  You should be able to apply for Temporary Disability which should take 3-4 months rather than 2 years.  Stopping Chemo because of the side effects is not a good idea.  It has a job to do.  I hope things start looking up for you.  (Ignore the dashes, they are to keep from being forbidden)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on September 23, 2013, 02:54:13 AM
I know I can't quit chemo but I want to.  I've tried so hard to stay positive and I'm so damn mad that the very people telling me how important it is are the very people that brought me down.  That and I have to say money.  Part of the reason I want to quit is so I can just go back to work, if I can find a job.  My sweet can do it alone but I don't want her to.  Christmas is almost here. 

I had a good pep talk from TR and Wes, my son, yesterday too.  There's no way I'm quitting.  I just need anxiety meds.   :o

LP your knowledge of medications is so useful.  Thanks so much.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on September 23, 2013, 11:53:03 AM
So sorry it's so stressful for you, junebug. Traveler and Lori have given some excellent advice. I hope you and Trav can meet; she's clearly a strong, empathic survivor.

I know it probably doesn't seem so to you, but what I get from reading your posts here is a feeling of slow, relentless strength behind your anxiety and pain. Like the pressure that drives a shoot through hard soil up to the light. All the hardship you've endured is further proof of your determination to endure this passing, transient difficulty to reclaim the health and life that is already yours.

You've made your choice, and you will see it through.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Nick on September 25, 2013, 10:58:24 AM
Junebug, you stated at one time that you did not have health insurance.  You also recently stated that your finances were not good.  With the new healthcare coming on line Oct. 1st and kicking in Jan 1st, you should at least look at your options.  Go to WWW.healthcare.gov / find your state / put in your info / and see how it stacks up for you.  You can do it now for a ball park figure to play around with.  The government will subsidies part of it if your income qualifies.  Even after you get threw your current situation you will probably need follow up visits and maybe further treatments.  Part of the healthcare act is not being able to turn you down for a pre existing condition.

Do yourself a favor.  You really need to get on this program if at all possible. 

Oh, and remember to thank Ted Cruz and the GOP for trying to take this option away from you.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: carstensenscott on September 25, 2013, 08:58:12 PM
Lame and sorry. Yesterday was my sweets one year from first chemo.....lame.

Hang in there lady.

Love.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on September 26, 2013, 11:43:56 AM
Nick thanks I will check it out.

car not lame at all.  Thanks for the thought.

Love
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on September 30, 2013, 04:39:20 AM
Well I saw a Lyndsey Graham ad on TV last night and he is definitely male and a liar.  I was really appalled at his dishonest ad, REALLY. 

I'm having a much better week this week.  If it wasn't for the hair loss I wouldn't even know that I'm having chemo at this time.  I'm so thankful for the 21 day schedule I'm on.  My heart breaks even more now when I think of a child having to endure this treatment. 

My honey caught a viral crud at work and so far I have remarkably avoided the infection.  She made a pallet in the floor to avoid getting me sick and I can't say that I've ever felt so loved.  I am truly blessed.  My son had a head cold and I dodged that bullet too.  Some friends came by to give me a hope bag full of goodies and an inspirational card.  It was very sweet.  Dang I'm hungry this morning.  That don't usually hit until 7/8 am.  Anyhow, 2 down 4 to go and I hope I don't get that darn thrush again.  I'm going to ask about the magic rinse cause that stuff I've been using taste like crap for 5 days.  It is hard to even get my much needed water down which causes it's own set of problems.

I guess I'm going to have to deal with the anxiety because I'm not going back to that nasty place I went to Friday.  There is not even a restroom in the lobby to wash my hands.  The place is way too small for the amount of people they service.  People coughing all around me it was awful.  There was this 1 guy there who had been cutting himself, I feel so very sorry for cutters.  He showed me his scars.  They started at the bottom of his legs and went as far up as he could pull his pants leg.  I gave him my chair so he would come inside and during the break we struck up a conversation and when I introduced myself he informed me that was his late mother's name.  I can't stop thinking about this young man hoping this place can help him.

I will enjoy this week; next Monday is #3 halfway mark,  Yee haw!!!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: William on September 30, 2013, 04:51:46 AM
I will enjoy this week; next Monday is #3 halfway mark,  Yee haw!!!

Amazing attitude :)
Work with those chemicals Junebug72, working together you have the best chance - the science says so  ;)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on September 30, 2013, 10:30:03 AM
Wonderful news! Your positive attitude really shines through your note.  :)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: neopagan on September 30, 2013, 10:53:09 AM
JB, so glad to see things are starting to turn for the better for you.  Good attitude, too.  Your family seems to be coming through as well - best of luck to you.

(Ignore L. Graham - he could cause brain cells to die  :o )
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: LoriPinkAngel on September 30, 2013, 12:43:02 PM
Posted by: junebug72
« on: Today at 04:39:20 AM »

Quote
It is hard to even get my much needed water down which causes it's own set of problems.

There are some other ways to increase your hydration if you are having difficulty taking in water.  Obviously any other non-caffeinated liquid helps.  Also any foods that "melt" -- ice cream, yogurt, jello, pudding.  Ice pops are great and also may relieve mouth pain.  Juicy fruits like pears, melons. anything that runs down your face, although citrus may be irritating if you have mouth sores.  Don't forget soups and broths also count.

If your partner is already having symptoms of a viral infection she is probably past the infectious/contagious stage.  Check with the MD to be sure.

The best way to avoid the colds and what-not is for you and everyone around you to wash your hands frequently and keep hand sanitizer handy for when you go out.  Also sanitize phones before you use them.

I assume you went to a Mental Health Clinic of some sort on Friday.  You didn't mention whether you had any contact with any professionals there.  I can't advise you whether to give that place another try; you have to decide based on your experience.  But this may make you go "hmmm."  Is it possible that the interaction you had with that "cutter" is the only positive interaction that man had that day? 

I'm glad things seem to be looking up for you.  I admire your ability to find the "yee haw" in a most difficult situation.    ;D
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 01, 2013, 07:18:57 AM
Thanks y'all. 

LPA I appreciate your professional advice so much.  I think broth will probably work well for me.  The reason I'm having trouble putting anything in my mouth is the thrush mouth so it can't be a sweet.  I've got some sugar free peppermint candies that help with the nasty taste in my mouth but food and even water tastes so bad.  I was very aggressive with the salt water rinse this last round but I was over confident in that I had medication to take and I cheated on the sweet in my coffee.  I will not make that same mistake this time a round.  Nothing but water and savory for this gal next week.

I will seriously consider your advice regarding the mental health facility.  The main reason why is because of the filth.  It's a filthy place and I have a compromised immune system which I know you are aware of.  I really hope the young man had a positive interaction with the staff at that clinic.  They seemed to have a special interest in him above the rest of us.  Let me explain the rest of us.  They took like 11 people into a small office and had us filling out a bunch of paper work I could have easily filled out on my own.  I feel like admitting you need help is a private matter and I did not appreciate being rounded up like a herd of cattle. 

I could use professional help right now but just so you know part of my PTSD was a result of a stay in a juvenile facility when I was 13 over a suicide threat; not attempt.  My mother had come to visit on Christmas day and informed me that she did not believe me about her boyfriend raping me.  I was devastated to say the least.  That night I spent strapped to a gurney on some serious HALDOL just for saying something stupid like teenagers do.  I'll never forget exactly what I said.  I had a roommate and I pointed out a flaw in the security at the facility I was in.  I had a cross necklace that they did not remove and it had very sharp points on it.  I told my roommate that if they were so worried about my safety why didn't they take my sharp necklace.  I went through a couple of weeks of hell for that remark!!!  My childhood is full of sad stories I've been fighting my whole life through; even now I still struggle with self esteem and I think I have a victim complex.  I don't take no crap.  I defend that little girl with all that I have in me. 

I'm going to check on you now.  I hope your doing better than awesome!!!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on October 02, 2013, 12:35:15 PM
junebug, so glad you are proving so strong and persevering through this. What steel and humor you show; a fine example of human character enduring the acid test. And in the midst of such stress, to have empathy for someone else; another sign you're doing well, I think.

Thanks for sharing that background with us. It goes a way to explaining your present strength, that it has that foundation to grow from. You took pain at an early age and turned it into a strong place to stand. You go, woman. All the way, up and out of this present shadow.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 02, 2013, 12:48:53 PM
^^I always look forward to your positive and inspiring words.  Thanks. 
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 07, 2013, 04:05:54 AM
Treatment #3 today.  That's my halfway marker 3 to go!!! 

I really wish more members would wish me well.  Is it lack of belief that makes them not care about a fellow human going through cancer.  I have to try and let this not bother me.  I'm sure the absent members have a good reason for not supporting me in my time of need.  :(
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on October 07, 2013, 07:05:37 AM
Hugs, and I hope today's treatment goes well!!!

As for lack of support, please try to remember that people might not even be reading this section, or might not know what to say, or might have only the briefest of moments online. Today is the first time in a week where I've really had time to breath, being swamped with other things, and the main reason that this thread jumps out at me over the dozens of others I'd like to catch up on is that we share the struggle that is cancer.

I hope you won't let that discourage you.  :)

Looking forward to meeting up in person ...
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: jynnan tonnix on October 07, 2013, 10:17:15 AM
I care, Junebug...sorry not to have been more active in this, as well as other threads by other members who are dealing with difficulties in their lives. Guess I'm just one of those people who have a tendency to keep quiet when they don't quite know what to say or how to say it. That's something I know I have to work on, in real life as well.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Astreja on October 08, 2013, 10:05:36 PM
Thinking about you, JB -- Nothing really to add to what everyone else has said, but here's a (((hug))). 
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 09, 2013, 04:16:45 AM
^^ THANKS GODDESS^^ (((hugs))) back. 
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 10, 2013, 04:39:28 AM
Yelp Nam got it right.  I'm an attention whore, bitch lying about having cancer.  I guess I won't be needing to go back to the DR anytime soon.  Won't need anymore chemo because I don't have cancer.  I have been healed by the word of Nam. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on October 10, 2013, 09:57:35 PM
Well, I've now spoken to Junebug on the phone, so somebody is real.  ;D
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on October 10, 2013, 11:26:15 PM
^^^There are few theists that are or have been on this board I'd care to meet in real life. Junebug would definitely be one of them  ;).

Stay strong, june. Here's another poem that seemed appropriate.

Stories unbounded
 
Time and place: just rooms to fill,
honeycomb cells, memory distilled
into shapes and words by busy thought;
rushing by, in hivish circles caught.

And in the sorting, new junctions gleam;
connections spread, until it seems
that the latest is the oldest too,
forgetting the layers from which all grew.

So words and records clear one’s vision,
give events and places some precision.
But always, always bright memory fades,
details erode and close names evade.

Thus all past is fluid, in flux no less
than imagined futures. Dare to test
your stories against a witness who
may see them otherwise? Which is true?

So share the tales, your hallowed hoard:
risk all to laughter, let memory soar.
Rechecked, refined by others’ eyes;
burned away, all dross of pride.

Outward again, on replenished wings
let commingled thought smile and sing.
All time and place and life to share,
the splendid stories of earth and air.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 11, 2013, 03:47:37 AM
Thanks that was lovely.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 11, 2013, 09:19:36 AM
Gavin Free once said.

Quote
Ohh, you have cancer, i got that, just stop...

Not helpful, but ehh.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Zankuu on October 11, 2013, 03:04:24 PM
What does that quote mean? What is its significance to you? And if it isn't helpful then why post it? Some friendly advice: try to be more prudent and put more effort into your replies.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 11, 2013, 11:45:01 PM
The point is that if you have cancer, fight it, stop thinking it is there.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on October 11, 2013, 11:56:39 PM
^^^That really doesn't clarify what you mean. How does stopping thinking about one's cancer help fight it? junebug is fighting with every weapon she has, best I can tell.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 12, 2013, 12:01:43 AM
Well if you go around saying "this cancer is going to kill me, and i have nothing i can do about it", you are not going to get very far, aren't you?
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on October 12, 2013, 02:12:18 AM
Well if you go around saying "this cancer is going to kill me, and i have nothing i can do about it", you are not going to get very far, aren't you?

Okay, thanks for the clarification. Can you see how "fight it" seems to contradict "stop thinking it is there"? And how the quote from Free might seem dismissive, as if saying someone talking about their cancer is annoying and should just shut up?
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 12, 2013, 04:31:17 AM
Gavin Free once said.

Quote
Ohh, you have cancer, i got that, just stop...

Not helpful, but ehh.

Thanks AA.  I think I know what you mean.  Trust me wishing it away doesn't help.  I'm halfway through the fight and feeling strong.  I'll call my tulpa ladybug and she will fight off all bad thoughts. ;)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 12, 2013, 12:00:14 PM
Thanks AA.  I think I know what you mean.

Good ;P.

Trust me wishing it away doesn't help.

So wishing that it would kill you would help instead?
I don't think so...

I'm halfway through the fight and feeling strong.

Good, i know too many people who have died from cancer already.

Comments moderated
GB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 13, 2013, 04:36:39 AM
Thanks AA.  I think I know what you mean.

Good ;P.

Trust me wishing it away doesn't help.

So wishing that it would kill you would help instead?
I don't think so...

I'm halfway through the fight and feeling strong.

Good, i know too many people who have died from cancer already.

I'll call my tulpa ladybug and she will fight off all bad thoughts. ;)

I am sensing sarcasm here, but i digress.
I would not advise making a tulpa...

I can make a tulpa if I want to.  This is my thread, my cancer, my fight, my prerogative.  I wasn't being sarcastic I was accepting you the way you are.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 13, 2013, 05:46:53 AM
I can make a tulpa if I want to.  This is my thread, my cancer, my fight, my prerogative.  I wasn't being sarcastic I was accepting you the way you are.

You are actually making one? O.o...okay.
Maybe make thread with me? ;P
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 13, 2013, 07:17:56 AM
Tomorrow is the 11 year mark since my brother succumb to pancreatic cancer.  He never had a chance.  It broke my parents hearts but it also started a healing between them and I.  My brother's life and death was not in vain.

Gary Randall Gibson 2/17/70 thru 10/14/2002   RIP

Angus I wish your smite happy ass would just stay clear of here.  You do not lift my spirit or my hope.  You bring me down man. 
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 13, 2013, 07:26:13 AM
Careless comments removed.

GB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on October 13, 2013, 08:03:16 AM
This is a support thread, Angus. Arguments or negative comments or smites really are out of place here, and quite off topic. There are plenty of other places to confront JB. She started the thread ... its really up to her what its about. There's a time and place for bitter truths, and this is not it. This, as her title states, is a place for Junebug to get support while she goes through chemo. Chemo sucks. I've been through it and would not wish it on my worst enemy.

Please, regardless of your feelings about JB or her opinions, keep on topic here. If you don't wish to offer support, this is not the thread for you.

Thank you.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 13, 2013, 08:16:20 AM
Careless comments removed
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: LoriPinkAngel on October 13, 2013, 11:22:43 AM
^^ What part of HER THREAD do you not understand?  Buzz off!!! >:(

We support you JB !  (((hugs)))  <3
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 13, 2013, 12:10:35 PM
Personal edit: I will no longer reply to this thread as ordered.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on October 13, 2013, 02:04:05 PM
Tomorrow is the 11 year mark since my brother succumb to pancreatic cancer.  He never had a chance.  It broke my parents hearts but it also started a healing between them and I.  My brother's life and death was not in vain.

Gary Randall Gibson 2/17/70 thru 10/14/2002   RIP

If you can take any kind of peace from such an event, then more power to you. Please honor his memory by living long, junebug.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 14, 2013, 04:57:49 AM
Well I hardly remember last week.  I know Thursday I didn't know if I was going to make it.  I was so weak, body trembling, hot and cold chills.  I still say the worse side effect for me is what it's doing to my mouth.  I swish,swish,swish and it doesn't help much.  Food just makes me want to gag.

This week will be better but I can't help but wish that was my last treatment.  I'm going to be so so happy when that day comes mid December.  I'm looking at it as a present.

My son and family are coming over today.  Many smiles.  Wes will mow one last time and gather up some more wood for me while April helps out inside.  I will hold the baby and it's going to be a wonderful day.!!!

I can't help but feel somewhat neglected.  I know there are many friends and some family that love me.  My phone doesn't ring.  Nobody knocks on the door.  I'm lonely.  I know that's why I spend so much time on here.  I also get to talk about something that's important to me.  It's not trivial like how many treats the dog ate, etc..  It's stimulating conversation.  I have learned a lot from here.  I just wish I didn't make people so mad.   :P

I would like to get into proving the existence of God as a life's goal but I really do not know where to start.  Am I too old and worn out to start something new.  I get the most discouraged not knowing what lies ahead.  I need to start figuring it out.  I want to do something that means something.  Getting laid off broke my heart.  I put that job up there in the people I love category. :?  That's what made me so good at it.  I was better than the boss.  I think that's what got me in trouble.  That and they didn't know what to do with their lesbian.  I think they hired me for political correctness and to feel good about it.  I don't think they realized I had dreams; that I was human.  Sometimes I wish I had kept that to myself.  Hindsight is 20/20.

What next?  The question of the day. :o
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on October 14, 2013, 09:00:06 AM
I hear that! "What next?" is a question I ask myself a lot!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on October 14, 2013, 01:32:20 PM
What next?  The question of the day. :o

So glad that overall, things are looking up for you. I'm sorry you're lonely at times; I'm a very solitary person by nature, but even I need to and do socialize.

Right now you need to concentrate your resources on getting through treatment and recovering your health. But part of the answer to your question might be volunteer work, when you can spare the time and energy. I'm sure that's occurred to someone as empathic as you before. A thought for the future, perhaps.

Here's to holding your grandchild and unwrapping that present in December!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 15, 2013, 02:21:34 AM
Wonderful visit with the family.  My grand son is amazing. :laugh:
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on October 15, 2013, 02:54:04 AM
Wonderful visit with the family.  My grand son is amazing. :laugh:

Like I said before, holding him is an affirmation of life. I was just looking for an article from years back about how a hospital noted an improvement in elderly patients' recoveries when those patients did volunteer work in the maternity ward. Sorry, couldn't find a link; I'll try again later.

Sounds like you're doing pretty well, junebug. You have your supporters in RL and a few here; more importantly you have you on your side. You will see this through and walk out of the shadow, head high.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 17, 2013, 05:43:14 AM
wright,

Thank you so much for standing by me.  I too think beliefs should be put aside to support a fellow human being.  You're words are always inspiring and encouraging.  I appreciate you so much.

Spent Tuesday at the hospital with an inflamed pancreas and hives.  My pancreas feels better but these hives I believe are a side effect from the neulasta shot.  It helps keep my red blood cells developing.  I'm having some neuropathy from it.  It itches and burns especially my hands. 

Thanks again,
JB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on October 17, 2013, 07:16:19 AM
I'm so sorry to hear that.  :( Neuropathy is no fun ... I still have it in my toes. A lasting reminder of chemo. Hang in there!!!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 17, 2013, 07:39:19 AM
Thanks Traveler.  I'm medicated now and it's eased off a little and hopefully here soon I'll be asleep.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Betelnut on October 17, 2013, 10:36:07 PM
JB:  Last summer I was going through chemo so I know some of what you are going through.  It is really tough.  People don't really realize it until they go through it themselves.  I'm really sorry to hear about your past experiences and how that is now not exactly helping with the current medical treatments.  I still have my port and get it flushed monthly--a quick prick and it's over.  I hope that you will come to appreciate not having to get an IV every time!  I'd rather have a port than an IV!

The worst thing for me was the weakness.  I would have to push up on the floor just to get up from the toilet!  Sheesh! Second worse thing--terrible, terrible gas/GERD.  I felt like my stomach was seething with gas for 3-4 days in between the chemo treatments.

I asked the doctor if my weakness was made worse because I wasn't in too good of shape before the chemo (overweight, not exercising, etc.).  She said, nah, even athletes get these side effects.  I don't know why but that made me feel better!  They are sending deadly chemicals through your system--of course it's going to affect you!

But...I am now cancer-free and feeling 98% recovered.  Still have neuropathy though in the toes, like Traveler said.

You are a strong lady--just keep waiting out the time.  It does get better if the treatments work...

Take care....

Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 18, 2013, 05:36:35 AM
Thanks Betelnut I'll remember what you said.

Nam has finally managed to run me off.  I appreciate everyone here that has offered me support and encouragement.   But...


I'm done here too.  Apparently you must be crazy to seek support on an atheist website unless you're atheist.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 18, 2013, 06:01:58 AM
I'm done here too.  Apparently you must be crazy to seek support on an atheist website unless you're atheist.

No, just crazy to debate with one.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on October 18, 2013, 01:30:44 PM
Just concentrate on getting better and your life back on track, junebug. All else, especially a mere internet forum, is window dressing by comparison.

Please, if you would, drop a word when you're done with chemo. Those of us here who support you will be glad to hear it.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: LoriPinkAngel on October 18, 2013, 02:20:08 PM

I'm done here too.  Apparently you must be crazy to seek support on an atheist website unless you're atheist.

I disagree.  I came to this forum as a theist.  I have found more support and reassurance here than from my facebook friends who are people who have met me IRL.  I find that rather sad and quite disappointing.  The atheists offer sound advice and more in some cases, the friends offer mostly empty prayers when they should be in the position to offer real help.  I know which forum members have opinions I will never agree with or attitudes that have a negative tone and if I see they are the poster I don't read that post.  I rarely engage them.  It is that simple.  Each thread seems to become it's own little community with it's own regular posters.  I stick to familiar threads and familiar posters.  There is plenty of support in a support thread but it doesn't extend to the debate threads.  Out there you are on your own.  Anyone with class would not insult someone in a support thread.  I see we have some classless members here lately.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Add Homonym on October 19, 2013, 08:19:45 AM
Oops.

I researched thrush mouth a few months ago, because I had it after Metronide antibiotic. The best killer is a mixture of Chlorhexidine mouthwash and a Cetylpiridine one. Cetyl is the normal el-cheapo, but Chlorhex is a special one. Also, the omega-3 fatty acids, EPA and ALA kill Candida. You would have to chew and swig fish oil capsules. Canola oil is 10% ALA. (See CB Huang* • JL Ebersole)  See "Oil pulling" as a topic. Most plebs recommend Coconut oil, but it doesn't kill Candida.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: carstensenscott on October 21, 2013, 12:55:21 AM
Farking crapolis....hang in there June.

Very close to home.

Love...Love...Love!!!!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 21, 2013, 01:57:37 AM
You know she is gone, right?
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Add Homonym on October 21, 2013, 03:39:37 AM
Gone is a relative term.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 21, 2013, 06:49:49 AM
True...
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: carstensenscott on October 21, 2013, 08:36:25 AM
She is tough enough to be an outspoken theist in our midst. It would be boring without opposition.

My universe strengths going to you today June. Exactly a year ago, my sons bday, we had to "sneak" my wife to the hospital (chemo complications) as to not spoil our eleven year olds special day. Waht a difference a year makes.

Love.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: LoriPinkAngel on October 21, 2013, 11:29:45 AM
You know she is gone, right?

No thanks to you.  Snide comments and smites do not belong in a support thread.  If it were up to me I would ban you from this site for that behavior.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Jag on October 21, 2013, 12:26:24 PM
You know she is gone, right?
No thanks to you.  Snide comments and smites do not belong in a support thread.

The main forum is more or less a free-for-all, within some very broad constraints. This area is intended for exactly what the name states - personal help, advice, and support. This is NOT the place for anything that is not clearly one of those three things, and Angus, you were completely out of line.

LPA, I'm not sure banning from the forum is entirely appropriate, but I would certainly like to see Angus at least post an apology to junebug for his behavior in this topic.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: screwtape on October 21, 2013, 04:00:20 PM
Feel free to use that thumbs down button.  He's earned it.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Jag on October 21, 2013, 04:06:32 PM
Fair point, I'll act in accordance. I figured a small dose of frosty disapproval might carry a much deserved sting as well though.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Jag on October 21, 2013, 04:12:05 PM
AAAAACK!!!!!

I hit the wrong thumb and upvoted angus - can anyone erase it? Or switch the direction? INSERT STRING OF LOUD CUSS WORDS HERE!!!!!!

junebug, if you ever see this thread, I DID NOT intend to upvote Angus - my intention was a smite and  apologize to you if you saw it and were hurt.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: One Above All on October 21, 2013, 04:15:34 PM
AAAAACK!!!!!

I hit the wrong thumb and upvoted angus - can anyone erase it? Or switch the direction? INSERT STRING OF LOUD CUSS WORDS HERE!!!!!!

junebug, if you ever see this thread, I DID NOT intend to upvote Angus - my intention was a smite and  apologize to you if you saw it and were hurt.

The One Above All heard your prayers. I smited him in your place.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: William on October 21, 2013, 04:34:33 PM
AAAAACK!!!!!

I hit the wrong thumb and upvoted angus - can anyone erase it? Or switch the direction? INSERT STRING OF LOUD CUSS WORDS HERE!!!!!!

junebug, if you ever see this thread, I DID NOT intend to upvote Angus - my intention was a smite and  apologize to you if you saw it and were hurt.

The One Above All heard your prayers. I smited him in your place.

It takes two smites to cancel the one false positive and still have the desired effect  :)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: One Above All on October 21, 2013, 04:47:19 PM
It takes two smites to cancel the one false positive and still have the desired effect  :)

I was counting on the false positive being deleted. If it gets deleted now, yours will be one too many.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: William on October 21, 2013, 04:49:41 PM
I was counting on the false positive being deleted. If it gets deleted now, yours will be one too many.

Mine will still be valid in its own right  :)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: One Above All on October 21, 2013, 04:53:35 PM
Mine will still be valid in its own right  :)

Indeed it will. I had not checked why you smited him.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 22, 2013, 06:59:03 PM
I love how i am still getting smited due to this thread.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Jag on October 22, 2013, 11:43:40 PM
I love how i am still getting smited due to this thread.

Ya know, by and large I like you, and I realize that you are still young - but on this topic you need to grow the fuck up.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 23, 2013, 01:54:04 AM
How so?

Junebug is gone for now, and yet people are posting here, and continuing to smite me.

I do not care, and i hope she gets better.

So what is the deal?
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Jag on October 23, 2013, 08:40:18 AM
How so?

Junebug is gone for now, and yet people are posting here, and continuing to smite me.

I do not care, and i hope she gets better.

So what is the deal?

Alexis dear, put those four hooves to good use and kick the rude out of Angus please. He's being a childish troll. Thanks!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 23, 2013, 10:20:15 AM
post removed
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: screwtape on October 23, 2013, 11:19:25 AM
Angus

my use of green text indicates I am acting as a moderator, not a participant. 

Unless you have something positive to say in this thread - that is, supportive of Junebug - do not post here.

Regards

Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 25, 2013, 07:44:28 AM
I'm sorry I let my emotions get the best of me.  I feel like such a fool for letting that happen.  I did need a break though.  That thread got pretty hot.  I get tired of being called a liar.  I will have to say in Nam's defense that I went to a cancer support website and in my inbox was a phishing scam.  I see now that this sort of thing happens online, I can be naive at times and really just see the best of people and don't think too much about the nasty.  Only difference here is I haven't asked for anything except for support.  My intentions have been nothing but sincerely just wanting to share my point of view.  I was hoping to influence Christians here more so than atheists and y'all run 'em off faster than I can get a hold of them. :laugh:  They sensor you too much on their websites to even make a point.  :blank:


I didn't come here to be passive or afraid.  I will not let cancer stop me from my goal.  If anything it makes me more passionate.  I am confident in my beliefs and I am not afraid to own them.  That's the freedom of being spiritual not religious!!!  You only have your own conscience to guide you no book to tell you to do anything.

For the record I am very optimistic about a full recovery.  You can not battle an enemy you do not think about.  You have to know it's weakness and strengths.  Rage Against The Machine: Know Your Enemy; good song.  I don't even know how AA got the impression I thought cancer had already won or that it was stronger than my will to live.  Strange. :?

Monday is the big day.  I start dreaded it so bad.  I am not even sure I am strong enough physically to get through it.  I am still having issues with colitis and like betelnut said; "gas".  I never knew gas could be so uncomfortable and sometimes down right painful.  I do not know what to expect from the taxol they are switching me to.  It is supposed to be easier I think.   &)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on October 25, 2013, 09:07:41 AM
Welcome back!  :)

Taxol was MUCH easier for me than the adriamycin and cytoxin (I know that's not what you were on). My hair even started growing back during taxol.

Hugs and good luck on monday!!!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Jag on October 25, 2013, 09:36:07 AM
Good to see you back junebug. Glad you are holding up well though your battle. Stay strong!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on October 25, 2013, 10:09:51 AM
Glad you're still keeping us informed, junebug. Have a restful weekend and best of luck Monday.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: William on October 25, 2013, 11:02:15 AM
I was hoping to influence Christians here more so than atheists and y'all run 'em off faster than I can get a hold of them. :laugh:
Haha that's gold ;D  You do belong with us more than with them :) 

For the record I am very optimistic about a full recovery.
Good attitude.  May the science be with you.

Monday is the big day.  I start dreaded it so bad.  I am not even sure I am strong enough physically to get through it.
This may help ... a way I found to deal with tough stuff is to think hard about the time when it will be over. How will you feel then? The day will come when you wake up thinking: "Hey! I'm actually getting back to normal" Think about that happiness - it will be yours  ;) 
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: neopagan on October 25, 2013, 01:51:20 PM
Good luck, JB. Hope things go easier for you this round.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 25, 2013, 02:01:02 PM
Thanks for not giving me a hard time about my emotional outburst.  Thanks even more for your encouraging and supportive words.  Words are so powerful.  They can make you smile and laugh or they can make you cry.  Life would be strange without them though, or would it?  Seems like humans hurt each other more than they make you laugh sometimes.  I am just saying.  Madonna sings a song called Words.  It's a good song too.  I'm a huge Madonna fan.

JB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on October 25, 2013, 02:22:21 PM
Thanks for not giving me a hard time about my emotional outburst.  Thanks even more for your encouraging and supportive words.  Words are so powerful.  They can make you smile and laugh or they can make you cry.  Life would be strange without them though, or would it?  Seems like humans hurt each other more than they make you laugh sometimes.  I am just saying.  Madonna sings a song called Words.  It's a good song too.  I'm a huge Madonna fan.

JB

Junebug, with all the stress you're under I'd find it more worrying if you didn't show any signs of releasing it. In my experience, some kind of catharsis is inevitable when people are beaten up by bad luck or life in general; better to let it out in ways that don't hurt oneself or others.

As a poet and writer, I definitely agree with you about the power of words. We're social creatures; most of us need some form of companionship, and for humans language is needed to really get the most from that. Indeed, it's been theorized that the parts of our brains that set us apart from our primate cousins developed to process increasingly complex language; words (or the ability to conceive and use them) made us human.

And writing is just an extension of that: our brains are so adept at facilitating language that words transcribed hundreds, sometimes thousands of years ago can move us to tears. What an astounding thing that is, when you really think about it!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: LoriPinkAngel on October 25, 2013, 02:56:55 PM
This may help ... a way I found to deal with tough stuff is to think hard about the time when it will be over. How will you feel then? The day will come when you wake up thinking: "Hey! I'm actually getting back to normal" Think about that happiness - it will be yours  ;)

This is the most awesome advice I have ever seen.  I am also going to somehow attempt this.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: LoriPinkAngel on October 25, 2013, 03:01:21 PM
Here's hoping this round goes much more smoothly for you.  We will be here rooting for you.   8)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 25, 2013, 03:04:31 PM
Yea Wright is pretty awesome!  Hope things are turning around for you LPA.  I need to go check your support thread.  Going now. :)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 28, 2013, 05:34:11 AM
Well today is the big day.  I am just now feeling better from the last one.  I have no idea what to expect from the new taxol except it should be easier on me.  I sure do hope so.  My daughter in law brought me the cutest hat yesterday.  It looks like a cat with black and silver spots.  I think I will wear it to chemo today and hopefully liven the place up a bit. :) It's very warm.  Got my jams and my crosswords.   

Well better get going I have some breakfast to make and a bag of goodies to pack.

Take Care,
JB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: LoriPinkAngel on October 28, 2013, 09:58:17 AM
I will rattle my rocks for you.   ;) 

Your mention of hats brought back a memory of one of my favorite homecare patients.  She crocheted hundreds of hats for children with cancer and sent them all over the country.  Also, when she had to be in a Nursing home for a while for rehab she made them for all the staff and I have one as well that she gave to me.  She embellishes them with scarves and costume jewelry and uses the softest yarn so they aren't itchy.  She also had 2 rescued dogs which were usually dressed in little knitted outfits.   :)

Your hat will liven the place up and bring smiles.  I always wore bright colored scrubs with funky socks and matching shoes when I did homecare.  The patients loved it.  You wouldn't think such a little thing would make a difference but it started many visits with a smile.

You manage to keep hope and a positive attitude through this fight.  They are very important weapons.  Even if it doesn't actually cure disease your mental state is obviously key to your quality of life and controlling your stress level does help your recovery.  If you keep up your strong spirit and good vibes things will go so much more smoothly.  ;D
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on October 28, 2013, 12:18:36 PM
My daughter in law brought me the cutest hat yesterday.  It looks like a cat with black and silver spots.  I think I will wear it to chemo today and hopefully liven the place up a bit. :) It's very warm.  Got my jams and my crosswords.   

Well better get going I have some breakfast to make and a bag of goodies to pack.

Take Care,
JB

That is absolutely the attitude to have, junebug. As Paul Simon said, sail on, sail on. My thoughts are with you.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 28, 2013, 07:58:17 PM
I will rattle my rocks for you.   ;) 

Your mention of hats brought back a memory of one of my favorite homecare patients.  She crocheted hundreds of hats for children with cancer and sent them all over the country.  Also, when she had to be in a Nursing home for a while for rehab she made them for all the staff and I have one as well that she gave to me.  She embellishes them with scarves and costume jewelry and uses the softest yarn so they aren't itchy.  She also had 2 rescued dogs which were usually dressed in little knitted outfits.   :)

Your hat will liven the place up and bring smiles.  I always wore bright colored scrubs with funky socks and matching shoes when I did homecare.  The patients loved it.  You wouldn't think such a little thing would make a difference but it started many visits with a smile.

You manage to keep hope and a positive attitude through this fight.  They are very important weapons.  Even if it doesn't actually cure disease your mental state is obviously key to your quality of life and controlling your stress level does help your recovery.  If you keep up your strong spirit and good vibes things will go so much more smoothly.  ;D

The kitty hat did it's job.  We got a lot of smiles from patients and from staff.  I almost enjoyed going there today.  I really hope to encounter lighter side effects. 

You're friend sounds like angel! :angel:
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 28, 2013, 08:01:00 PM
My daughter in law brought me the cutest hat yesterday.  It looks like a cat with black and silver spots.  I think I will wear it to chemo today and hopefully liven the place up a bit. :) It's very warm.  Got my jams and my crosswords.   

Well better get going I have some breakfast to make and a bag of goodies to pack.

Take Care,
JB

That is absolutely the attitude to have, junebug. As Paul Simon said, sail on, sail on. My thoughts are with you.

I'm sailing right on through.  4 down  and 2 to go.  I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel.  :)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on October 29, 2013, 01:52:51 AM
Always look on the bright side of life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on October 29, 2013, 08:04:55 AM
thanks for the smile A&A.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: carstensenscott on October 29, 2013, 08:11:59 AM
Love.

Love.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: neopagan on October 29, 2013, 11:31:13 AM
My garden rock had a feather on it yesterday... I take that as a good sign for your "sailing on through."  I take it as a bad sign for the bird that cat killed...  :laugh:

Good thoughts to you, JB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Betelnut on October 30, 2013, 06:24:15 PM
How are you feeling these days JB?  I remember the 4th treatment.  You think, okay, more than halfway done.  But man, do I feel shitty!

Still, keep on a trucking. There isn't any other alternative, right?
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on November 02, 2013, 09:15:38 AM
Hey y'all been a little rough this week.  I've caught a cold and have felt like crap.  The new taxol has been easier on the digestive system but I've had more bone and joint pain.

2 more treatments seems tough at this point but I'm going to get there no matter what! ;)  (((hugs)))

Thanks Neo your feather was right. 8)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on November 02, 2013, 10:16:21 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRC4Vk6kisY (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRC4Vk6kisY)

Thought this could make you laugh/smile.

Enjoy.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on November 03, 2013, 08:44:13 AM
Thanks AA.  What I need is to get out of this house.  I feel like I'm already dead and this house is my tomb.  I really don't have a support system outside of this place and my sweet, TR.  The world is a self centered world that has no time for a sick person like me.  It sometimes makes me wonder why I even bother trying to survive.  I've always been nothing but disappointed in the world I live in and every time something bad happens I realize how alone I am.  Sometimes I feel I have no one but TR and God.  I pushed a lot of friends away when my mom died because they just weren't there.  I have always been there a loyal friend and I'm always going through shit alone.   TR is just as disappointed in our friends and family as I am.  Things like that only happen on TV.   :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on November 08, 2013, 07:58:03 AM
Goodbye cruel world goodbye. :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on November 08, 2013, 08:31:29 AM
What do you mean junebug?
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: LoriPinkAngel on November 08, 2013, 01:43:03 PM
What the hell?  Did the chemo fail?  Did the cancer metastasize?   I don't recall you having radiation yet.  Or do you just feel really spent?  More info when you're up to it, please?  You're in our thoughts.  And I will support what ever path you feel is best for yourself given whatever prognosis you have received.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on November 08, 2013, 01:48:30 PM
(((Junebug)))

Hang in there please!!!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: One Above All on November 08, 2013, 01:51:02 PM
What the hell?  Did the chemo fail?  Did the cancer metastasize?   I don't recall you having radiation yet.  Or do you just feel really spent?  More info when you're up to it, please?  You're in our thoughts.  And I will support what ever path you feel is best for yourself given whatever prognosis you have received.

(((Junebug)))

Hang in there please!!!

^This.[1]
 1. I'd say something in my own words, but I suck at being supportive. Just ask my ex's. All I could do was stand there.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Zankuu on November 08, 2013, 02:03:48 PM
Update us when you can, jb. Wishing you the best.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: screwtape on November 08, 2013, 04:16:12 PM
Goodbye cruel world goodbye. :'( :'( :'(

junebug has expressed her displeasure at being confined to the Shelter.  This could be an extension of that.  I say this so that you members who have supported jb are not left wondering and thinking the worst.

Hopefully she will get comfortable with the situation and return so that she can talk to some people in the community who care about her.

Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on November 08, 2013, 06:03:59 PM
Goodbye cruel world goodbye. :'( :'( :'(

It's difficult to judge nuances over the internet, but as someone who once seriously considered suicide and about a year ago talked a good friend out of it, this is alarming to me. Junebug, please keep your supporters here in the loop.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on November 18, 2013, 12:52:01 PM
I was hoping to influence Christians here more so than atheists and y'all run 'em off faster than I can get a hold of them. :laugh:
Haha that's gold ;D You do belong with us.

I'm sailing through chemo.  I have been kind and loving pretty much with everyone here.  I got kicked down to the shelter to punish me for taking up for DR T. 

There isn't much worse than kicking a girl while she is down.  Want to pour some salt in my port? 

I had just said this place TR and God is my support. That my house felt like a tomb.  Then the big status change.



I just can't believe a little ole harmless hillbilly is too much for this place.  I consider this a victory for belief. 

I have been friendly and respectful.  Never been so insulted anywhere so much as here.  They might have well went and kicked around a sick puppy.  There is definitely a coldness here not felt at theist forums.

As far as belonging here and being part of a community I am not.  I wanted too.  I'm sure the mod that stuck me here said the same thing in an Introduction thread.  I knew it wasn't sincere.  I don't fit anywhere.




















Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on December 21, 2013, 01:35:02 PM
I am done with chemo!!! Thanks for the support!!!

Sincerely,

JB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: LoriPinkAngel on December 21, 2013, 01:59:31 PM
Excellent!  Just try to eat a healthy diet, start some kind of exercise regime, some kind of meditation or relaxation routine.  You still will need to heal from the trauma of this ordeal and work your way back in to a normal life.  I wish the best for you.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on December 21, 2013, 02:05:47 PM
Way to go, junebug. Live long and prosper.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on December 21, 2013, 04:22:13 PM
Woohoo!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on December 21, 2013, 11:22:11 PM
Wear a fancy wig.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on December 22, 2013, 06:17:55 AM
Thanks you guys!  (((hugs)))  You are part of my breast cancer survival story.  I know I give y'all a hard time about calling people stupid but when I speak to others about my experience here it is a positive story.  When I told y'all about that lump I had known about it for 2 months.  I had just been laid off from a job I loved and I didn't have insurance.  I looked up clogged milk ducts online and convinced myself that's what it was.  Y'all gave me urgency.  For that I will be forever grateful. 

AA I look good bald :laugh:  hair's coming back; solid white :o.  I'm going to keep it short.  I like the pixie do.

LPA I know, I know, great advice.  That has been the hardest part.  I love food, I don't like to exercise.  I get some splitting and moving wood for the fire.  Playing with the baby is also some exercise for me. 

Hope your Season is Merry and Peaceful!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: LoriPinkAngel on December 22, 2013, 12:05:54 PM
That has been the hardest part.  I love food,

You don't have to give up all the foods you love.  The key is moderation.  Control your portion sizes.  No seconds. Drink a lot of water with your meal so you will feel fuller. Eat slowly and pay attention to the flavors and textures of your food and you will be more satisfied. Learn to recognize when you are full and stop eating when you start to feel that way. Go as natural as possible.  Use the divided plate plan.  One half veggies and greens, one quarter protein, one quarter starch.  Desserts are not prohibited, they should just be small portions and only eaten if you are not full.  Fat free foods are hokum.  The process used to remove the fats is dubious and they add a bunch of artificial sweeteners to enhance the flavors.  Eat fruits as snacks.  Pick whole grain breads.  You may want to avoid soy.  Ask your doctors opinion.  There are conflicting opinions in the medical community on whether consumption of soy products increases the risk of recurrence/occurrence of estrogen fed cancers which would include breast cancer. I might have a little soy sauce here and there but I shy away from the rest of the soy stuff.

Quote
I don't like to exercise.  I get some splitting and moving wood for the fire.  Playing with the baby is also some exercise for me. 

Exercise does not have to be going to a gym or a class or following some rigid regimen.  You just need to move Get your heart pumping.  Splitting and moving wood is perfect.  Playing with the baby or pets is good.  Vigorous dancing works.  Taking walks at a decent pace.  Anything that increases your heart rate moderately for 15-20 minutes at a time to start.  The more you enjoy something the more likely you will stick with it.

I think part of the reason a lot of people do not stick with diet or exercise programs is because they are told they have to drastically change their lives.  I don't prefer that tactic.  I prefer to help people modify what they already do into something more healthy.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on December 23, 2013, 06:01:13 AM
Thanks a lot LPA but it takes more self discipline that what I possess to accomplish that!!! :laugh:

I thought I could do this on my own but it's comforting to know they provide you with a nutritionist at the radiation facility.  Walking is painful with this neuropathy in my feet and left leg.  I have it in my finger tips too but it's not as uncomfortable as my feet at all.  I expect it to get better as the chemicals work their way out of my system!

I hope you're doing well.  How's your shoulder and the pursuit of disability going?

I bet your son is excited about the holidays!!!  I hope you two have a Very Merry Holiday!!!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Betelnut on December 23, 2013, 09:15:50 PM
Congratulations!  I remember just being so relieved and looking forward to feeling strong again.  It has been 18 months (for me) now and the only side effect I still have is the occasional neuropathy in the feet.  Not too bad.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on December 24, 2013, 05:18:03 AM
Way to go Betelnut!!!

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

Thanks!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on December 24, 2013, 05:20:07 AM
Is it true that when on chemo, mosquitoes that suck your blood die?
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on December 24, 2013, 05:28:12 AM
That's so funny.  When I would get bit I would say, "it will probably die from chemo!" 

Lmao

Hold up, wait a minute, ain't nothing but tootie fruity!  You're asking me.  I don't see one surviving. ;)

They might spontaneously combust. 
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on December 24, 2013, 05:32:00 AM
I have heard rumors that it happens, so you never know xD.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on December 25, 2013, 12:39:53 AM
http://youtu.be/QjBMTWzZjo4

This song is to date, the only one that made my head bob to the rhythm...
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on December 28, 2013, 08:22:24 AM
I'm smiling, thanks!  That was so cute.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on December 28, 2013, 10:50:14 AM
I know...

That...happiness...i cant stop watching.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: carstensenscott on December 30, 2013, 09:41:46 PM
YAY. Wifes one year from last is next week. Keep tough.

LOVE.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on December 31, 2013, 07:48:05 AM
A part of me wanted to smite you here but the other side thought it was petty vengeful thinking.  So I don't have the heart to do that.  I am too happy for your wife right now and I wouldn't want to jinx that for either one of you.  Plus I believe in forgiveness, so I forgive your smite Car and wish you and your love the happiest healthiest New Year and beyond!!!

It was awesome not to have to go to chemo yesterday. :)  Radiation starts mid month.  That should be a cakewalk after chemo!  Thanks so much for all your support Car.

Take Cake,

JB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on December 31, 2013, 10:59:44 AM
So...you are bald now, right?

Have you polished your scalp yet?  ;)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on December 31, 2013, 01:58:39 PM
No not bald now.  It's pretty short still though and solid white!  They said about an inch per month and I'm about half way to there. 

I'm giving out hugs today so here's a great big jolly wolly happy New Year hug for you.

(((HUGS)))
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: One Above All on December 31, 2013, 02:09:41 PM
It's pretty short still though and solid white!

White is my favorite color. When my hair starts turning white, I intend on painting it fully white and "skip the middleman", as it were. Would you mind PM'ing me a pic?
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 01, 2014, 07:46:01 AM
It's pretty short still though and solid white!

White is my favorite color. When my hair starts turning white, I intend on painting it fully white and "skip the middleman", as it were. Would you mind PM'ing me a pic?

Hey One!  I like the new avatar.  I would be happy to send you a pic but I don't have one at the moment.  My grandson will be here Friday and Saturday and I'm sure TR will take some pics.  It's so short and white it may not even show up but I'll try.  I'll post it here for everybody. 

Here's your New Year hug...(((hugs)))
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: LoriPinkAngel on January 01, 2014, 11:16:33 AM
Maybe you can be a stand-in for Dame Judi Densch...
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: carstensenscott on January 01, 2014, 03:33:21 PM
You rock June. Take the rads in stride. Im sure I deserve the smite. Im a horses arse. Love. Happy new year. Love.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 02, 2014, 06:42:16 AM
Aww thanks Car!!! 

LPA I could do it!!!  Sounds like fun fun fun!!!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 05, 2014, 01:34:56 PM
(https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/p480x480/1499644_766062263421341_2073801615_n.jpg)

Here's the pic I promised.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on January 05, 2014, 02:42:47 PM
Awww, look at the white fuzz! I remember that phase very well. Is yours super soft? Mine came in like white, curly rabbit fur. After an inch or two it started changing until it came back to my original color and texture, but while it was all rabbity, everyone wanted to pet my head!  ;D

Cute baby too. ;)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: ThatZenoGuy on January 05, 2014, 11:12:43 PM
Looks like a snow-globe xD.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 06, 2014, 07:01:35 AM
yelp I'm All Shook Up!

Very soft.  People do like to pet soft things! ;) 

That baby and his father are the loves of my life!  TR too! :laugh:
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Betelnut on January 15, 2014, 07:22:32 PM
Very cute!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 24, 2014, 08:02:26 AM
Thanks Betel. 

I've been shy about sharing here lately.  I have abandoned this thread...for now.  People can be so...COLD.

I would rather finish my fight w/o support from here than to deal with the chill of people walking away. brrrrrrr

Thanks for the warm fuzzies.

JB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: screwtape on January 25, 2014, 09:06:10 AM
jb,

you are a welcome member here.  Just please leave the passive aggressive bullshit at the door.  It will help improve others' attitudes toward you.  Thanks.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jo34VhfcetU


Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on January 25, 2014, 01:58:56 PM
Junebug, I have been one of your strongest supporters, both here and behind the scenes. And yet, when I tried to help you in the emergency room, by suggesting things that would help you communicate by the members here, you attacked me, and said you couldn't trust me. This hurt my feelings, and makes me wary of interacting with you. Some of the so-called chill you are experiencing is because you've hurt people's feelings, and ignored most attempts to help.

You believe in love and compassion, yet you've jumped on the very people who are trying to show compassion to you.

Perhaps you can't hear this, but I still care about you. I still want to hear your opinions. I still want you to participate here. But I also don't want to feel attacked when I do so. I have feelings too.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 26, 2014, 05:47:58 AM
Junebug, I have been one of your strongest supporters, both here and behind the scenes. And yet, when I tried to help you in the emergency room, by suggesting things that would help you communicate by the members here, you attacked me, and said you couldn't trust me. This hurt my feelings, and makes me wary of interacting with you. Some of the so-called chill you are experiencing is because you've hurt people's feelings, and ignored most attempts to help.

You believe in love and compassion, yet you've jumped on the very people who are trying to show compassion to you.

Perhaps you can't hear this, but I still care about you. I still want to hear your opinions. I still want you to participate here. But I also don't want to feel attacked when I do so. I have feelings too.

Your help hurt my feelings.  Traveler I know you honestly think you were helping me but you were helping them, the mods.  You really don't think it hurt my feelings to be in the ER or restricted to the shelter.  You were dealing with a hurt dog so to speak.  You have to approach carefully.  What would have helped is when you see me make a mistake tell me then, In a nice way.  Maybe PM it so not to embarrass me. 

You made me feel like our friendship was not as important as trying to save the reputation of a website that is verbally offensive.  That's not how I roll. 

The mods are free to edit any post.  Out of 1100 posts I've only been edited 6-7 times.  My defense is posted in the ER.


Am I perfect sure ain't.  I don't think you ever looked at the situation without bias toward atheism.  The impact it would have on this website.  I have admitted my short comings and I'm working on improvement.  Those that think they are perfect never improve but they are not really perfect.

My feelings has been hurt here a lot while going through the hardest fight of my life.  It really made me wish I had never shared my fight with this place.  Anyhow I don't harbor any anger and I'm just ready to get on with being HAPPY.  Getting through chemo was one of the happiest times in my life.  I just want that feeling back.


I didn't start throwing the stones.

I'm only aggressive when people's trying to push me around. ;)

I care about you too Traveler.  I care about all of you. :angel: 
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on January 26, 2014, 01:56:52 PM
...
I care about you too Traveler.  I care about all of you. :angel:

Cool. :)

How long's your hair? I kept checking mine for growth, and now, 4.5 years after treatment mine is only a few inches from my waist!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 26, 2014, 02:31:01 PM
...
I care about you too Traveler.  I care about all of you. :angel:

Cool. :)

How long's your hair? I kept checking mine for growth, and now, 4.5 years after treatment mine is only a few inches from my waist!

Right about an inch.  I think I will keep mine short.

Radiation starts next week on Wednesday.  I'm ready to get it over with.  Do you still have the three tattoos?

I can't keep my hands off the hair.  I'm starting to get bed head again.

Didn't you say you still have neuropathy in your feet? 


JB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: One Above All on January 26, 2014, 02:46:47 PM
Right about an inch.  I think I will keep mine short.

Don't mind me, but I always thought women (but not men) looked better with long hair. Men just look weird, though.
EDIT: Which is not to say that women look bad with short hair. Just that they look better with long hair.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on January 26, 2014, 03:19:44 PM
Hey, JB, yes I still have the tattoos. They've softened into dark, soft blue dots.

And, yes, I still have neuropathy in my feet. My oncologist said if it was still there after a year that it was likely permanent. I've only had two real problems with it. First, it feels really creepy to wash my feet, especially my toes. The hot water seems to trigger it to be worse. The other is that I have to be really careful not to hurt myself, and I no longer go barefoot outside. I went out once to take my recycling out with bare feet. I dropped a glass jar, which broke. When I went inside, I was leaving bloody toe prints. I didn't feel a thing, but I had sliced my toe all the way to the bone. :(
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 26, 2014, 03:25:10 PM
Right about an inch.  I think I will keep mine short.

Don't mind me, but I always thought women (but not men) looked better with long hair. Men just look weird, though.
EDIT: Which is not to say that women look bad with short hair. Just that they look better with long hair.

One I had hair down to my butt.  Losing it was very hard to do.  I would have to go through so many awkward stages, I don't know.  I'm liking the low maintenance.   

I've always liked my women with long hair too. lol  I used to hate it when Madonna went short.  I think she is breathtaking with those long curly locks.

That pixie do is very popular and I think sexy.  I'm going with that for a while.  Thanks for sharing.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 26, 2014, 03:32:58 PM
Hey, JB, yes I still have the tattoos. They've softened into dark, soft blue dots.

And, yes, I still have neuropathy in my feet. My oncologist said if it was still there after a year that it was likely permanent. I've only had two real problems with it. First, it feels really creepy to wash my feet, especially my toes. The hot water seems to trigger it to be worse. The other is that I have to be really careful not to hurt myself, and I no longer go barefoot outside. I went out once to take my recycling out with bare feet. I dropped a glass jar, which broke. When I went inside, I was leaving bloody toe prints. I didn't feel a thing, but I had sliced my toe all the way to the bone. :(

We better be careful then, huh?  I have a hard time standing in my shower.  It does feel pretty weird.  Does your feet itch real bad but it's more like nerves because you can't get the itch no matter how hard you try?  There is no rash or anything just itch.   I have to take Vistiril for that and it knocks me out.  My oncologist has never heard of it.

I never liked going barefoot anyway.  Sensitive feet like the rest of me. lol :laugh:


JB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Traveler on January 26, 2014, 05:25:54 PM
No, mine don't itch. Its like my toes are numb, but also sort of tingly, and sometimes almost painful. Its a weird, creepy feeling that's really hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. My oncologist says the weird feelings are pain, but I don't quite experience it that way. Its awful ... I'd actually prefer that it hurt in a traditional meaning of the word.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: Betelnut on January 26, 2014, 08:07:06 PM
I still have some neuropathy in my feet after about 18 months.  It isn't constant though--it comes and goes (or maybe I just don't notice it as much during the day?)  It is worse at night when I'm lying down--pins and needles in the feet.

I too was told that since I still have it, it will probably stick around.

Better than cancer, I guess!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 27, 2014, 06:10:55 AM
Yelp better than cancer.  I think I will use it as a constant reminder to appreciate every moment of life.  My dad had neuropathy too and he did not go through chemo.  Diabetics deal with it constantly and they can't cut out their disease.  Some have to have amputations. :'(

We are very lucky, us three.


(((hugs)))

JB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on January 27, 2014, 01:27:14 PM
Glad to hear you are still persevering with the treatment, junebug. How long will the radiation therapy last?

Peace and long life.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 27, 2014, 03:08:03 PM
Glad to hear you are still persevering with the treatment, junebug. How long will the radiation therapy last?

Peace and long life.

Not too long.  DR Case said 5 days a week for a month.  Then I'm all done.  Post chemo mammogram was clear.  They will see me every 3 months for a year and then every 6 for 2. 

Peace and long life to you as well.

JB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on January 27, 2014, 03:18:50 PM
Glad you're currently in the clear and this is the last stage save for followups. You and the other cancer survivors here and Lori; y'all have wills of drop-forged steel to have endured your travails.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 28, 2014, 06:46:53 AM
Glad you're currently in the clear and this is the last stage save for followups. You and the other cancer survivors here and Lori; y'all have wills of drop-forged steel to have endured your travails.

Thanks Wright.  The support I got from members here helped a lot.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 28, 2014, 01:04:08 PM
Busy day tomorrow.   In fact with radiation starting and a work search I'm going to be busy.  It's time to start living like a normal person again.  I can't wait to get back to work. 

I can't believe it's 1 pm already.  Time flies.

Much Love,

JB
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on January 28, 2014, 03:30:26 PM
Great news.  I just got the call from the geneticist.  My genes are normal.  My cancer does not appear to be inherited.  That is really good to know.  I don't how I would've decided to handle the opposite.  I don't think I would have anything removed unless it was actually infected.  It's a woman's prerogative to deal with this in her own way.   
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on February 07, 2014, 10:12:32 PM
Glad to hear another hurdle is clear. Carry on, junebug.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on February 28, 2014, 02:14:52 PM
I'm still alive.  8)
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: wright on February 28, 2014, 05:46:06 PM
Forge ahead, junebug.
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: carstensenscott on March 01, 2014, 04:46:07 AM
LOVE!!
Title: Re: Getting Through Chemo
Post by: junebug72 on March 01, 2014, 05:15:06 AM
Forge ahead, junebug.

Thanks Wright.  That's the plan.  1 day at a time.

LOVE!!

What is that?