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Main Discussion Zone => Religion & Society => Topic started by: ParkingPlaces on October 26, 2012, 01:18:55 PM

Title: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: ParkingPlaces on October 26, 2012, 01:18:55 PM
According to this guy, you can't be a christian if you don't own a gun. And I never have...

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/10/25/former-republican-official-you-cant-be-a-christian-if-you-dont-own-a-gun/ (http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/10/25/former-republican-official-you-cant-be-a-christian-if-you-dont-own-a-gun/)

I'm guessing there was a translation error. It is very probable that one of the ten commandments is actually "Shoot thy neighbor".

Or something like that.

When are these guys going to figure out that a caricature is something based on real life? It is not real life itself.

Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Emily on October 26, 2012, 01:26:15 PM
Whoa, that guy is pissed.

“You have not just a right not bear arms, you have a duty. How can you protect yourself, your family or your neighbor if you don’t have a gun? If I’m supposed to love my neighbor and I can’t protect him, what good am I?”

A baseball bat? There are many ways. Just get creative. My favorite is the good old fashion 911 call.

Believe me sir, if i had a gun I'd probably harm myself somehow, and not intentional. I'm just not responsible, so it's best that I don't own one.
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: ParkingPlaces on October 26, 2012, 01:47:05 PM
Irony is just no fun if the folks experiencing it aren't smart enough to know what it is.

There are people who would like to shoot me because I, as an atheist, am not moral.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA----BANG!

Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Nick on October 26, 2012, 01:47:27 PM
It's true.  Jesus always carried.  Except for that one time in the garden when Judus kissed him.  Damn, what could have been if Jesus was packing heat that night.

It's official, the "right" has gone in a whole new direction of crazy.  Rape is a "gift" from God and "shoot em up" is  duty to God.

Canada may even be to close to move to.
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Nam on October 26, 2012, 02:01:58 PM
Wasn't there a Republican from some state awhile back who tried to put legislation through making it so everyone had to buy a gun or they would have to pay a hefty fine and/or go to prison?

Do Republicans understand that they are closer to Communism than Democrats are?

-Nam
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: ParkingPlaces on October 26, 2012, 02:23:51 PM
I'm pretty sure that there are real live commies who are looking at republicans proclamations like this and saying "Why the heck didn't I think of that."

Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: nogodsforme on October 26, 2012, 02:55:20 PM
Guns cost like $500 bucks. Are they going to give us government vouchers to help pay for them? Or will they just give tax money directly to the gun shops to hand them out for free? Free health care? Hell no! Free guns? Hell yes!

I can't believe I just typed that.
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Backspace on October 26, 2012, 02:58:37 PM
C'mon people, get current with your gun-totin' scripture!  :angel:

When a strong man, fully armed, guards his estate, his possessions are secure. Luke 11:21 HCSB[1]

Quote
These are not the words of a first century NRA but rather those of Jesus himself.

http://backcountrychaplain.com/2011/11/21/would-jesus-join-the-nra-the-daily-devotion-for-november-21/ (http://backcountrychaplain.com/2011/11/21/would-jesus-join-the-nra-the-daily-devotion-for-november-21/)

Praise Jeebus, and pass the ammunition - preferably FMJ hollowpoints
 1. Holman Christian Standard Bible
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: shnozzola on October 26, 2012, 03:01:36 PM
Irony is just no fun if the folks experiencing it aren't smart enough to know what it is.

Oh - PP, can I use that as a future signature?  <right here would be a bowing smiley face>
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: ParkingPlaces on October 26, 2012, 03:04:57 PM
Well, since we're supposed to be a part of a constantly ready militia, there is no reason the military couldn't just issue all of us one of these:

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uXGO766DuCo/TfGlmXvSumI/AAAAAAAAAI0/TxcyeXtVJ-o/s1600/Stoner63lmg-3.jpg)

Think about how many kids I could keep of the lawn with one of those babies.

AND I could start going to church. Wowsers!

Oh, and shnozzola, of course. Just keep it anonymous. Those unsmart folks own things like what I've pictured above.  ;D

Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Backspace on October 26, 2012, 03:12:12 PM
Parkingplaces, that's so 20th century.  Here's what every modern Christ-loving NRA member wants...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOoUVeyaY_8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOoUVeyaY_8)
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Nam on October 26, 2012, 03:12:14 PM
I want a P-90[1].

-Nam
 1. do those even exist? They looked really cool on SG-1.
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: rev45 on October 26, 2012, 03:31:33 PM
Who or what am I supposed to protect against?
Grandma?  Right hook to the face baby!!
Armed thugs?  Yea a gun would be nice.
The Russians?  I'm gonna need some tanks and jets.  At least one for me, my wife, and my two kids.

I'd actually fear more an armed religious person who is "doing what God is telling his heart to do."
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Backspace on October 26, 2012, 03:45:42 PM
Who or what am I supposed to protect against?

Yur fellow man -- he's evil don't ya know?  Says so rat thar in da Bable.

I'd actually fear more an armed religious person who is "doing what God is telling his heart to do."

I couldn't agree more.
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Ambassador Pony on October 26, 2012, 05:37:56 PM
I want a P-90[1].

-Nam
 1. do those even exist? They looked really cool on SG-1.

Yes. Yes, they do.
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Nam on October 26, 2012, 06:29:55 PM
Then I want one. Give me a P-90.

-Nam
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Garja on October 26, 2012, 07:30:53 PM
I feel woefully under-armed at this point!  I am likely one of the few on this board that DO own a gun.  Nothing crazy, just enough to put a hole in anyone to decides to attempt a break in.... or if I want to go squirrel hunting.... hate those little bastards.

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR-mMeBFwuM_ee6ZGdUoYClmHve6buGnwfoOzXZb0nczriGIeAD)
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: nogodsforme on October 26, 2012, 07:34:22 PM
Looks like Garja is really happy to see us.
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Garja on October 26, 2012, 07:45:07 PM
So happy it wont even fit in my pocket!
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Poseidon on October 26, 2012, 08:45:26 PM
That guy is really animated isn't he? He is also a raving maniac who needs some serious counseling by a court appointed psychotherapist.
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Chronos on October 27, 2012, 06:18:28 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOoUVeyaY_8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOoUVeyaY_8)

"In the worst case scenario you can always poke someone with it and fuck their shit up."
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Chronos on October 27, 2012, 06:20:33 AM
According to this guy, you can't be a christian if you don't own a gun ...


Our formerly great Christian universities have become perverted factories of unfaithfulness.”


^ Now that's how you court the education vote.
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Graybeard on October 27, 2012, 03:12:29 PM
According to this guy, you can't be a christian if you don't own a gun. And I never have...
I fear for the Bible Belt - it may already be too late for some states.

Why has this man not been carted away to the squirrel farm?

You see this is the trouble - all that is required is one madman and that little wormhole in reality to allow the suspension of belief and, lo and behold, it's the massacre of the Amalkelites and the Midianites all over again.
Title: Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
Post by: Nick on October 27, 2012, 03:22:07 PM
Squirrels don't want him around.  He has a gun.  It use to be we ignored people like this.  Now they are getting power.  It's scary out there.