As far as spag goes. There are 100's of thousands of people out there with the same beliefs as myself. In fact, I was informed a few days back that my spag is in agreement with Gene Roddenberry's spag. I'm proud to be a spagger. I don't trust others to guide me through the deepest questions in my mind. You can't find anything cruel about my belief!!!
I believe you misunderstand SPAG. There is no issue about whether your beliefs equate to anyone else's beliefs -- that's merely a popularity contest. Rather, SPAG refers to the habits of believers to pick and choose the elements of a religion or god that they like and ignore or reject the elements they don't. To compare your beliefs to others serves only to find kindred spirits, but it doesn't address the issue of what SPAG is: a buffet of beliefs, eat what you like, pass over the rest.
If that were all that occurred, we probably wouldn't be having a conversation. It's when believers try to enforce their practices or morals upon others that SPAGgers suffer the reality of inconsistencies in beliefs.
Why would a person not want to be treated with kindness? Either way if he doesn't like my kindness he should just let me alone. That's who I am his polar opposite. I am kind he is cruel. I'm not going to change.
I'm sure you have heard the wisdom of Treat others as you wish to be treated
(which is self-serving), but it is more accurately stated as Treat others as they wish to be treated
(which is meeting the other's person's needs, not your own).