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    Posts: 4233
  • Darwins +553/-11

"not going to happen, but you're fun to hang around with so let's be friends and let that be enough"

That rarely happens.

This might be an awful, thoughtless position to take, but it's how I see it: his attraction is not my problem, it's up to him to decide how important it is. I simply don't stay friendly with guys who won't take me at my word when I make clear that I'm in a committed exclusive relationship. I'm well aware that most of the men I consider friends would jump in bed with me in an instant if I indicated willingness to do so - they know my limitations and choose to continue having a non-sexual relationship with me. Obviously, this excludes my gay friends. This really is a straight guy thing - I have lesbian friends and this is a complete non-issue, for them and me.

I'd like to dismiss the video evidence simply because it was shot on a college campus and the people interviewed are still very much in the "learning how to have a relationship" stage - but I also know that's a joke position to try to support so I won't even bother. I know when I'm gonna lose an argument before even starting  ;). My life is richer for the men I have friendships with, and I certainly hope they feel the same way.

One observation about the differences though; my guy friendships tend to revolve around doing things - hiking, sporting events, motorcycling, etc. My girlfriends tend to want to get together and chat over coffee/beer/wine/whatever. The two different focuses tend to balance each other out and I would hate to have to compromise on either. Most of my cultural activities are with various atheist groups - I love my science geeks!

Changed Change Reason Date
Quesi yeah, right? June 08, 2013, 05:52:31 AM