you sure know alot about what it means to be a.christian for an atheist
You might be surprised to realize that most of the posters on this board are VERY well read former believers. Many of us were passionate in our desire to experience a personal relationship with god. Every single one failed to find anything to substantiate even the possibility of such a thing.
Don't make the common believer mistake of thinking that we all dismissed god-claims as implausible without careful consideration of the facts. Most (but certainly not all) of us went through tremendous amounts of pain and misery before concluding that if there is a god, his impact on the world is so minimal that we can't discern the slightest evidence of his existence, therefore it makes perfect sense to live our lives as though there is/are no god/gods whatsoever. My life is no different than that of a believer - there's been absolutely no impact at all.
I happen to be a former believer myself. I have not read the bible cover to cover, but I've read most of it spread out over a long time - frankly it's too grim in the OT, and too far-fetched in the NT for me to take it all in in a cover to cover reading. I arrived at my conclusion after years of being a Catholic, followed by years of seeking an alternative belief system, followed by years of ignoring the entire issue of religion. I finally admitted to myself that I don't BELIEVE in god, and probably never really have. I cannot force myself believe in a god
. I can consider the idea of a god, but not believe in it. For me, it's the equivalent of believing in fairies - I understand the idea of fairies, but I don't believe that fairies actually exist.