I've read this fiction of a story countless times:
Christian comes in and belts out:
My parents were atheists; I'm gay--my partner did me wrong, out of boredom I picked up a Bible to debunk it and then out-of-the-blue all the nonsense inside made sense.
When are these people going to be more original. I knew you were a liar from the emotional disgust of your parents naming you David.
Hey, my name's David. Who the fuck cares, it's just a name.