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Quesi



    Posts: 1986
  • Darwins +371/-4

Oh my.  I have a great deal to say about the topic. 

My beautiful daughter was born to a woman who lived in a country with no legal abortion and little to no access to birth control.  She was the member of a marginalized ethnic group.  She was single and unemployed.  She already had children that she struggled to support in a society that didn't give a shit about her or her children.   My daughter was born in a country in which 6 out of every 100 children died before reaching age 5 the year my daughter was born.   

Stigma?  I have a problem with the society.  Not with the woman.  And a problem with your pro-lifers who would rather move towards that sort of a society. 

I had hoped to maintain contact with my daughter's birth mom.  But it looks like that will not be our destiny.  And it makes me sad.

For me, becoming an adoptive mom was a decision that was literally like a light bulb going off in my head.  I had planned to be a mom.  I had planned to be a single mom.  I had pursued various options, including anonymous donor insemination, co-parenting with a gay male friend, and various other options.  And then it occurred to me, there are already too many people on planet earth.  Why create a new person to fulfill my selfish desire to parent? 

Adoption became the obvious choice. 

What I wasn't prepared for was my own sainthood.  As an adoptive mom, I am sometimes (often?) viewed as some sort of savior.

The irony is that I do take great pride in the social justice work that I have dedicated my life to.  But parenting, deciding to become a parent through adoption, is not part of a social justice project.  It is all about wanting to be a mom. 

And it is the best thing that I have done in my life.   
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shnozzola "And it is the best thing that I have done in my life"- superb February 22, 2014, 04:06:41 PM