Lori, you are in NY? Listen to me, if you have not been to a Financial Empowerment Center, please dial 311 NOW and get the number of an office by you. They are a legitimate service, not one of those scam dial 800 no debt now services. They won't be open until Tuesday, but get an appointment on Tuesday. PLEASE. They are run out of the Mayor's office, and all of their services are free.
Are you sure you don't qualify for Legal Aid if you own a home and are in foreclosure? I think you might.
My last suggestion might sound a little off the wall, but I would contact Occupy and tell them your story. They have done some successful work stopping foreclosures in the 5 boros. If you are interested in pursuing that route and don't know where to start, I can give you some leads that will give you a few false starts (they are fluid and decentralized) but with some effort, I think that you could become one of their projects. A vet, and someone who worked all of her life, became disabled and unable to work, and is now in foreclosure and about to lose her son and her pets is just the sort of project that they take on. And the general public has really lost patience with people going into foreclosure due to health problems. It also wouldn't hurt to contact your local city council member or other elected official, and possibly get them to put some pressure on the bank to back off.
There is clearly no magic bullet here, but there might be some avenues left that you have not yet pursued.
If you have equity, it might be possible to get the bank to hold off and let you sell the house on your terms, minus back mortgage, blah blah blah. I know that is not the solution that you want, but it sure as hell beats the scenario you are running through your brain right now. And maybe your benefits will kick in before that happens. Do you have a 401k that you can access? I know you don't want to do that either. But it is something to consider.
It is insane to think that you are waiting for back benefits, and that you might lose your home in the meantime.
If you are in the 5 boros, the new fiscal year starts July 1, and there might be some emergency one-time grants in either the budget that is ending, or the one that is about to start. Most of the rest of the state runs on a April-March fiscal year, so whatever is in the pot right now is all there is. With the sequester in place, federal money is not going to be an option.
Thinking about you, and hoping you can find some solutions. No prayers to offer. But I hope my long rambling post contains at least some tangible suggestions.
Please let me know if you contact the Financial Empowerment folks.