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I just got around to really reading the last week or so on this thread, and I have to say I’m flabbergasted. 

So, the best overview of female sexuality that you can come up with is “boys like sex, girls not so much?” 

Really gentlemen?  Really?

Since we have already clearly digressed from the original (disturbing) op, let me clue you in to a little something that I assume most men are at least aware of.

Female sexuality is HUGE.  It is multifaceted, and complex, and nuanced.  Female sexuality is like art.  Each woman is unique, as each artist is unique,   Most women, (unlike most men) don’t just jump into sex, unless there is already some strong inspiration to do so.  For some of us, some of the time, we are just ready to go.  For most of us, most of the time, inspiration takes time.  It takes sensory and emotional input.  And for each of us, the unique combination of input is different.  For some, the emotional overrides the sensory.  For others, certain sights or smells or motions or words or touches, in the right combination, are the key.

And like art, female sexuality grows and becomes more complex with time and practice.  There is much dispute (in the world of science and psychology and sociology) about the female sexual peak, but I am in the camp that believes that women in their 30’s are at the peak of their sexuality.  I see it in (and talk about it with) many of my friends in their 30’s.  And I certainly lived through it myself in my 30’s.   For many of us, at that time in our lives, those little, seconds-long, localized orgasms of our (late?) teens and twenties (if we were lucky enough to have them back then) have evolved into enormous, full body events that can ebb and fall for 2, 5, 10 minutes.  Or even longer.  If we are lucky.  Each of us is so different.  And each sexual encounter is different from the one before.  What inspired us last weekend might not work this evening. 

I am old enough that I remember the old “clitoral simulation” vs “g spot” debate.  Women fell into different camps, and vehemently argued in favor of one or another.  Some of us spent our early sexual years searching for this g spot that others were talking about, convinced that it was a single, elusive place inside of us, that others had found in themselves, but which we were unable to locate.  But the women who claimed to have found the g spot, often described it so differently from other women who claimed to have found it, led many to believe it was a myth.  But by the time I hit my 30’s, something really different started to happen.  For me, it wasn’t a spot.  It was a region.  A huge region that had seemed to not exist previously.  Huge. 

As recently as the early 1990’s, the actual size of the internal clitoris was finally “discovered.”  And it wasn’t until 3 years ago that science got around to creating a 3D image of the internal clitoris.  There is so much that we don’t even know yet.  There is so much that we don’t even have the vocabulary to discuss and explore. 



So gentlemen.  Stop knocking on doors hoping to get laid.  Tongue kiss, squeeze left nipple, penetrate, might be good enough for you.  But it is not good enough for us.  Be art aficionados.  Be muses.  And don’t expect Miro to be da Vinci or Cezanne or Rivera.  Each of us is really different.  And for us, each sexual encounter has the potential to be a great piece of art, unique from any that has ever existed before.  Or perhaps, a variation on a theme which we are currently exploring.   Communicate.  Look for cues.  And stop expecting your best sex ever to come from a 17 year old.  And do not, for a minute, treat a 35 year old the way you treated a 17 year old when you were 17.  Your sexuality may not have evolved much over the years.  But hers has. 
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Timtheskeptic whew! Thumbs up! WAY UP! July 11, 2012, 06:36:46 PM