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    Posts: 1982
  • Darwins +376/-4

Here is the thing Joe.  When you talk about male/female sexual relations, you always seem to imply that the girl/woman is the “recipient” of sex, while the boy/man is the one who is pursuing it.  And in this “role reversal” example, the boy is the recipient.

I remember my first sexual relationship when I was 17 with a 17 year old boy.  I was ready.  We’d been dating a while.  I was a virgin, and he was not.  We talked about it extensively.  Ultimately, I made the decisions, the plans, the time, the place, the protection, (short term immediately, long term birth control plans afterwards) and although he was “experienced” I was as much a proactive participant in the sexual relationship as I was in the emotional relationship.  I had had boyfriends before, but I was not ready until him.  He was the right one.  And it was the right time.  He was my first love.  And until our relationship dwindled (after I went away to college a year and a half later) we shared many emotional, intellectual and sexual adventures.  In the innocence and arrogance of our youth, we genuinely believed that we had in fact “invented” many of the sexual activities in which we engaged. 

I cannot imagine ever being this girl who is pursued and manipulated and lied to by a sex hungry boy/man.  And I am so glad that I never was.   

When I look at my daughter, and imagine a predator seeking her out as a sexual object, I have the same emotional reactions as nogodsforme does when she thinks about her daughter.  I hope that my daughter comes into her own sexuality on HER TERMS.  When she is ready.  Physically, emotionally, and intellectually.  I want her to be a subject, not an object, in her journey to becoming a sexual being.  A partner.  And if I were mother to a boy, I would want the same thing for him. 
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