The only "actual" homosexuals that matter are the ones who admit it. As I said, the ones who don't are not part of the group.
I understand and agree somewhat with where you are coming from on this, but I think it is short sighted to write off the entire "closeted" portion of the gay populace. There are plenty of people out there who know they are gay, but due to various outside pressures or influences are unwilling or reasonably unable to identify themselves as such. So while these folks are not necessarily "part of the group", they certainly can and do exercise their influence by voting for/against candidates and measures that support/oppose their views, by donating time or money to gay-friendly organizations, and by being very particular about where they might purchase a chicken sandwich.
Jetson brings up a great point with the parallels to atheism. I live in the buckle of the bible belt. As vocal and expressive with my views as I am on this forum, I don't walk around here with my atheism on my sleeve. If someone tells me to have a "blessed day," instead of ripping them a new one, I just say, "Thanks, same to you." As a relatively recent convert to atheism, perhaps this is a reflex that will change in time, but for now its just a whole lot easier to go along with it, at least in such situations where it is relatively harmless to do so. So I guess I'm a "closeted atheist," but that does not mean that I cannot exercise any influence.