Karma reasons for concrete message



    Posts: 1044
  • Darwins +78/-1

I think there's several variables that can't be determined by age alone. But in general I've found that I can't date younger guys; it's never worked for me. I met my oldest daughters dad when I was 17 he was 23 or 24 I forget. We were together for 5 years and share the responsibility of raising a child together.

I'd be a hypocrite to tell anyone what is appropriate. But my ex is not the smartest apple in the bunch, nor is he the most mature. At 17 he was exactly the type of guy a teenager would date, if he was 17. You couldn't tell a difference. He was beyond immature, and since I was newly "emancipated"[1] partying and being irresponsible was tons of fun. Until it wasn't. I grew up and he didn't. He's still behaving like a teenager.

My fiance is 2 years older than me, it's nice. We are almost identical in maturity level and life goals. But is it because of his age? IDK, doubt a few years give or take would really change him all that much.

But I can't logically rationalize why a 24 year old woman has any business being with a 15 year old. I have life experience revolting against societies rules, I've always dated older men. But looking back 99.99% of the guys who were more than 2-3 years older than me were attempting to use me for my "innocence" and naivety. Their intentions had nothing to do with being in an amicable relationship, no desire to care about wants needs, or what was good for me.

The problem becomes with the deception. These fellas used their knowledge and life experience to con me in to thinking I was in real relationships. While I don't blame them entirely, and I'm not calling foul play entirely, I think there is a difference from two people saying, "Hey let's get physical." and one person pretending to have a relationship just to get physical.

So, it's only natural that the younger less experienced, less knowledgeable teenager will not be able to rationalize that they are being taken advantage of. Perhaps a 15 year old boy doesn't care, maybe it's cool, IDK never been a boy. But again in hindsight as a 15 year old girl I was used, those men were wrong, and I didn't know what I was doing.

As a mother, I think it's best if older men just stay away from my girls. I would act exactly how this mom in the OP did. I would be a hypocrite, I would not allow someone with that much of an age cap to infiltrate the safety of our family. But the same thing goes for young ravenous boys with raging hormones. But instead of calling the police I'd take my daughter home and attempt to educate her on why it was a bad decision.

Well at least that's my plan. Who knows what will happen until I'm faced with dealing with my teenage daughter. But I just don't see myself allowing her to be taken advantage of , and we all know teenagers don't listen to their parents so it's not like at that point I could help her rationalize things. Cause by then "I just won't get it."I hope to do my job and educate her properly along the way about what is being taken advantage of and what is a two sided relationship.
 1. Generalizing, but it explains it well.
Changed Change Reason Date