Well that's the question isn't it?
What I'm trying desperately here is to help you realize that there MUST exist something that doesn't have a cause. That has never "not existed" if not, reason is impossible.something that, contrary of what you rhink , was always around.
To make you realize such a thing I attempted to follow your reasoning up to the point where it doesn't make sense anymore. So do you admit that something must have "always been around" or shall I continue to make you say things that contradict each other?