There was nothing I was more positive in my life about then there being no God, and that was the case until that night in Nashville right before I said the two Our Fathers.
Why were you positive about there being no god? What was your rationale?
You have to understand that if that ambiguity wasn't in there God would turn into a cheap thrill or interesting guy to have around. God purposely puts that ambiguity all around Him to give people the opportunity to be hard hearted, skeptical, untrusting, and /or prideful or not. He does it to protect our free will.
Free will to do what? I don't know about you, but I have to believe something exists before I can be free to choose to follow it or not. I cannot choose to follow something I don't believe exists.
By the way, are you depriving me of my free will right now?