^^ I can just see it before me
obstetrician: (to woman in labor) Do not breathe too fast.
nurse: Do you not mean 'don't breathe too fast'.
obstetrician: How drole that you should neglect to use a contraction while accosting me for not using a contraction.
woman: Oy! You two! I'm the one with the contractions here, now get this damned baby out of me!
btw, while on the subject ... a midwife in Dutch is a wroetvrouw ... which translates to "rootingwife"
and not rooting as in "come on! you can do it!" but as in "get up in there and root about" ... If there is indeed a god who invented childbirth as a punishment he certainly got it right!