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  • Darwins +1176/-6

I have questions too. Like, why cliffs? This god guy didn't give us wings. Why did he make things that we could fall off of?

What about parasites? What was the guy thinking, making river worms that can crawl into your eyeballs, blind you, and that breathe by sticking body parts out of your now useless cornea? I mean, I appreciate the sentiment and all, but holy crap.

How about that tiny little fish in the Amazon that can swim up a stream of urine if you happen to be peeing in the river (and don't worry fellow environmentalists, the rest of this story will stop such behavior immediately). This little fish swims right into your bladder (Whether you are male or female), lodges itself there using extra special painful methods, and starts drinking your blood. I've always wondered what Adam named it. Since it isn't detailed in the bible, thoughtless others called it the Candiru, and I'm pretty sure I'd use another name if I was attacked by this little critter.

Poison oak and stuff? Poisonous plants of any kind? Why bother. If you're gonna make a plant, make it taste like ice cream, make it be full of good nutritional stuff, and be done with it. Why bother with strychnine and arsenic and stuff? What was he thinking?

Weather? Hawaii does it just right. Except it is 12,000 miles from Eden. Why go for the extremes. Surely the occasional rain storm is all we need to get by. What's with the cold waves and the heat waves and the humidity stuff?

And I haven't even mentioned earthquakes, tornados, hurricanes, tsunamis, floods, mudslides, sinkholes, riptides or Yugos.

One or two trips to Home Depot and I could build a far better planet. Give me a week and we'd have a universe you could walk around in. But this god guy? Nooooo! Either he had help from a committee or he missed every episode of Myth Busters and just had no idea what he was doing.
Changed Change Reason Date
Quesi But but but ... it is perfect. Isn't it? December 20, 2013, 06:21:48 AM
lotanddaughters "I've always wondered what Adam named it." And more. December 19, 2013, 09:46:10 PM
Backspace Your last paragraph gave me a good chuckle. December 19, 2013, 01:23:30 PM