A long time ago, when I was 11 years old I had to go into hospital to be circumcised (in the UK this isn't a standard thing done to babies.) Whilst recovering I and another lad of about the same age came across a wheelchair in a room at the end of the ward and had fun for a while playing in it. We both thought it rather fun and,of course, ward floors were easy to push on. I forgot it completely until just recently.....
Roll on 23 years (about the same time as Wayne's dark Knight story) I found myself at the same hospital, though in outpatients, being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and 3 days later, you guessed it, I actually needed a wheelchair, my sole means of getting around ever since.
That is very perplexing. It's as though a happy occasion portended something rather grave and depressing. Our lives here on earth are so uncertain, and that is even true for me. I can't imagine what the result of those circumstances must have done to discourage you. I was on crutches from a sever back problem that I did recover from in time but in the middle of the issue I had a mix of what I would call demonic attacks that I can only figure were there to try to destroy my faith in the goodness of God. Stories of faithful believers that live with lifelong disabilities I think helped me to see my circumstance in perspective, and having sought God specifically for a resolution to my dilemma didn't I think in any way speed my recovery, however, I was met with graces along the way that assured me in my darkest of hours that I wasn't forgotten. I had to imagine my life of poverty and dependence and that imagination drove me closer to God. I would not trade those most desperate times in my life now for anything. I look back at them as a turningpoint in my faith and devotion. That I suppose could have been God's intention for me.
In one of my stories the actor I met named Richard Kiel turned out to be a devoted Christian. I looked him up recently and discovered that he is now confined to a wheelchair for a nerve disorder probably related to the fact that he is a Giant. He says he can't stand up because the condition gives him the balance of a toddler. He's still doing voice-overs but it seems that being a Christian doesn't guarantee good health, just the presence and guidance of a heavenly father and salvation for our eternal souls. CS Lewis said, You don't have a soul, you are a soul. You have a body. I'll add, that it is a corruptible body that we need not be confined to for eternity, for we are promised an glorified body at his resurrection, those of us who depend on him for salvation.
I'm so sorry for your condition and that premonition, I do think, meant something.
During my most crippling bout with my back I hobbled my way to my truck and went on an errand. I was resisting the thought that I would need crutches, but realised that walking without a wall to help support me was nearing impossible. Not crutches! I thought. Then, while driving I stopped at a light and a pickup pulled up next to me, and sticking out of the bed of his truck, almost close enough for me to reach were a pair of crutches. I was saying NO!... God was saying, uh.... Yes. That was a moment mixed with both agony, depression and wonder. I didn't know if life as I knew it was over, but I did know that I wasn't alone.