Question to men: How did you learn about vulvas?

[God indeed is imaginary]

You ignored the central question of my last post. I asked you:

GIII, what do you call someone who admits they he has serious problems, who admits that he's messed-up and extremely confused, who is offered the same good advice from numerous people which might lead to a resolution of his issues - and who then refuses to even try out the advice?

Does that sound smart to you? It doesn't to me.

GIII, I was just googling 'kolpophobia', and I found that two days ago you started a similar thread to this one on the Mental Health Forum. Same sad story, same insistence that therapy can't help you, same murderous rage against your mother, and the same request for sympathy from complete strangers.

Three out of the four respondents on that thread gave you the same advice as you've been given by people here - if you want to solve your problems get professional help.

When are you going to get smart and take the advice?

My ultimate purpose was:
1. To find out if there are other people who have gone through this. (I knew chances were small, but why not try?)
2. To get empathy from other people.

So you've found out that other people get misinformed by their parents on sexual matters, and it's no big deal. (And it would certainly be an exaggeration to say that you are a victim of sexual abuse because of it, as you do). You've also got some sympathy - though that's going to run out pretty quick as people realize that you're not interested in addressing your issues, preferring to wallow in self-pity, victimhood and revenge fantasies.

I need to cry on someone's shoulder (yes, I'm a crybaby) and that's what this thread is about.

Then you're not interested in the stated purpose of this Forum, you're simply using the place to act out your psychopathology. And you're using the members here for your emotional gratification, without any intention of acting on the well-meant advice that you are given.

Gnu.

And your problem is?

Are you trying to help me or are you telling me I'm not allowed to express my feelings on the internet?

So what if these people are complete strangers?

[Zankuu]

And your problem is?

Are you trying to help me or are you telling me I'm not allowed to express my feelings on the internet?

So what if these people are complete strangers?

GIII, Gnu is trying to help you. But he also believes your are wasting the time and energy from himself and other forum members by ignoring well informed advice. Instead you are just wallowing in what little sympathy you are given. He doesn't think this is the correct forum to soak in said sympathy, in which case I would have to agree. I have restless leg syndrome and complained about it to my girlfriend once. She told me to see a doctor. I didn't. The fact I don't help myself is entirely my fault. I know what I have and I know there is treatment (and do not say there is no treatment for your phobia). I see no benefit from continuously crying about something that can be helped but refusing to get treatment for.

Discussions about religious attitudes towards sexuality belong in the Sexuality section.

Your OP is void of any religious matter.

[Gnu Ordure]

GIII, you ignored my question yet again:

Three out of the four respondents on that thread gave you the same advice as you've been given by people here - if you want to solve your problems get professional help.

When are you going to get smart and take the advice?

Well ?

And your problem is?

Your OP requested help. I took it at face value and spent some time in responding. It appears that I (and others) wasted my time and that you never had any intention of listening to any advice, which in any case you've heard before; you merely wish to wallow in self-pity and to elicit sympathy from others.

But that's my problem. Your problem is that you're in breach of the Membership Agreement you signed, by joining the Forum on false pretences and then using its members for your emotional gratification. You're not interested in atheism or religion or philosophy. You're interested in yourself (and sex) (as most 19-year-old virgins are).

So I repeat, when are you going to get smart and take the advice that you have consistently been given?

[God indeed is imaginary]

GIII, you ignored my question yet again:
Three out of the four respondents on that thread gave you the same advice as you've been given by people here - if you want to solve your problems get professional help.

When are you going to get smart and take the advice?

I am extremely smart person. Because of that I know that NO psychotherapy can help me. It's too late.

Your problem is that you're in breach of the Membership Agreement you signed, by joining the Forum on false pretences and then using its members for your emotional gratification.

Yeah, right.

You're not interested in atheism or religion or philosophy.

That's a really, really retarded statement. Seriously. Just because right now I am active mostly in the Sexuality section, it doesn't mean I an not interested in atheism and philosophy. How the fuck do you dare to assume that I don't read the threads in the General Religious Discussion section? When I registered, it didn't even cross my mind to post anything about my problem. In fact, one of the members adviced me to (after I talked to him about some parts of my personal life).

Falce pretences? FALSE PRETENCES? The fuck are you talking about...

What's with freedom of speech? I'm allowed to say/ask/state whatever I want as long as I don't hurt anybody. Am I hurting anybody? No. I am the one who has been hurt countless times by practically everyone in my life. That's why I need to rant.

Are we living in the universe of "1984"? Are you the mastermind who tells what people are allowed to post and what not?

I posted this thread because I believed people on this forum were smarter than most people and will understand me.

But it doesn't seem like you understand me. Do you really care that much about my well-being? I doubt it. It's just that you don't want me to express my feelings. Do you realize that the internet is the only place where I can tell other people how I feel?

If you don't like the subject of this thread, don't read it.

Why are you trying to make me feel like the bad guy? Am I a bad guy? No. Please stop trying to tell me that I'm "stupid" or that I'm harming other members' feelings.

[MadBunny]

Your OP requested help. I took it at face value and spent some time in responding. It appears that I (and others) wasted my time and that you never had any intention of listening to any advice, which in any case you've heard before; you merely wish to wallow in self-pity and to elicit sympathy from others.

But that's my problem. Your problem is that you're in breach of the Membership Agreement you signed, by joining the Forum on false pretences and then using its members for your emotional gratification. You're not interested in atheism or religion or philosophy. You're interested in yourself (and sex) (as most 19-year-old virgins are).

Well to be perfectly fair to Giii, this is not the first time the forum has had an attention whore.
If this thread was moved to http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/forums/index.php?board=13.0 and the conversations didn't spill over into other threads it wouldn't be an issue.  Probably.

**edit, it is where it belongs, my mistake.

[God indeed is imaginary]

Your OP requested help. I took it at face value and spent some time in responding. It appears that I (and others) wasted my time and that you never had any intention of listening to any advice, which in any case you've heard before; you merely wish to wallow in self-pity and to elicit sympathy from others.

But that's my problem. Your problem is that you're in breach of the Membership Agreement you signed, by joining the Forum on false pretences and then using its members for your emotional gratification. You're not interested in atheism or religion or philosophy. You're interested in yourself (and sex) (as most 19-year-old virgins are).

Well to be perfectly fair to Giii, this is not the first time the forum has had an attention whore.
If this thread was moved to http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/forums/index.php?board=13.0 and the conversations didn't spill over into other threads it wouldn't be an issue.  Probably.

**edit, it is where it belongs, my mistake.

MadBunny: Now with 20% more trolling behavior and untruthful accusations.

I'm not an attention whore, Gnu makes me look like one with his untruthful statements about my behavior on this forum.

Damn, this forum is full of hypocrites indeed!

[Operator_016]

God indeed is imaginary,

Please dial down the emotional level on your responses.  Gnu and Mar both attempted to give you sincere advice and help, which you spurned with hostility. 

Freedom of speech doesn't apply here.  This is not a public-sector free-for-all, it is a privately owned website.  The Rules determine what you are and are not allowed to post.  Please review them.

In particular, I draw your attention to the following:

Do not post material which is illegal, libellous or otherwise inappropriate. This includes (but is not limited to) child pornography, threats of physical harm, instructions for making bombs or other improvised weapons, instructions for producing and using controlled substances, libel, racist, sexist, and homophobic comments, and excessive vulgarity.

You have made actual threats of physical harm including death to your own mother.  If you were in the United States we would have reported you to the authorities.  I don't know the laws in Bulgaria but I expect they're not all that different.

I also draw your attention to this:

Discussion threads are for discussion of the topic at hand, not simply advertising one's opinions. As such, forum members are expected to back up assertions they make, and not engage in stonewalling, shifting goalposts, changing the subject, or employing similar tactics to avoid addressing points raised against them.

The subject of your thread asks a simple question, as if you wanted a simple answer.  Yet your OP appears to be a long plea for help.  When help is offered you reject it.  You claim to be proud of your sexual self-identity, yet you acknowledge that you have a serious psychological problem.

You are changing the subject, and you are using denial and hostility to avoid addressing points raised.


This is a web site and forum about the delusion of god belief.  We are not a support group for sexual hangups.  In fact, simply participating in this forum can be traumatic to certain fragile personality types.  If your purpose is to get attention, I recommend for your sake that you look elsewhere.  The Internet is a big place.  Surely there's someone out there who is interested in your obsession with vulvas.

[God indeed is imaginary]

Please dial down the emotional level on your responses.

Don't you understand that I got emotional because of Gnu's obvious hostility and troll-like manner of speaking?

Gnu and Mar both attempted to give you sincere advice and help, which you spurned with hostility.

No, Gnu is trying to make me look like "the bad guy" is this situation. And so is MadBunny.

You are changing the subject

The only times when I went offtopic was when I was responding to questions raised by other members.

and you are using denial and hostility to avoid addressing points raised.

Well, Gnu is obviously trying to provoke an emotional response from me by accusating me of being a violator. Of course I try to avoid that - avoiding trollish behaviour is the best way to deal with it. I've no idea why he does that, but he does it.

Will you please tell me how exactly I change the subject?

[Inactive_1]

God indeed,

Do not argue with the moderator in-thread. That is against the forum rules. If you want clarification, PM him.

Now please everyone get back on topic from this point on, or this thread will be locked very soon. It may be anyway.

[God indeed is imaginary]

Do not argue with the moderator in-thread.

I am not "arguing" with him. I'm just proving my points and believe that other members should be able to read my arguments. What's wrong with wanting to defend my pride?

That is against the forum rules.

I assumed that since the mod commented on a subject on the topic, I should be able to give my counter-arguments so that everyone can read them.

Now please everyone get back on topic from this point on, or this thread will be locked very soon.

The thread WAS on topic before Gnu started posting trollish, off topic post. (The first of which was this one.)

Then MadBunny joined him. (He obviously deleted one of his posts, which I found particilarly offensive to me.)

[Inactive_1]

Ok we're done here. God indeed is getting a 72 hour break for continuing to argue with the staff in the thread.

Now back to discussing the main subjects, how about it?

[Inactive_1]

By request, and under the stipulation it would reside in the Pit, this thread is open again.

[Gman9871]

I had this same thing. At some points I feel vagina are gross, but most of the time, I like them. My mom told me that women just had a "pee-pee" then I learned through "friends" about them.

[lectricpharaoh]

You might want to avoid bumping threads that have been dead for almost a year, unless a) you have something very significant to add, and b) the thread itself is worthwhile.  This one seems to be started by the OP for the purpose of eliciting sympathy; everything else (such as helpful advice) was immediately dismissed.

It did give me a laugh to skim through, though I wonder if the guy realizes his 'asexuality good, any other sexual orientation else is bad and wrong' is just as bigoted as the WBC 'God hates fags' shtick.

[Nam]

DISCLAIMER: As you'll notice, I'm not posting this thread in a joking/trolling manner. I am completely serious, and so is the issue this thread discusses. Please try to be helpful and kind, instead of offending or disrespectful to me. It will be greatly appreciated.



I am a 19-years-old man from Bulgaria. I label myself as antisexual asexual. To me sex is something bad and I believe people should have sex only for procreation, not for recreation.

So here is my problem. I learned about the existence of vulvas when I was 12. IMO this is way to late - I believe my mother shouldn't have lied to me about vaginas when I was a little kid. Because of this huge lie I now have kolpophobia - a severe fear of the female genitals. Some people would call this fear 'irrational' but in my case I believe it's absolutely rational given what happened to me as a kid.

So my question is: How/when did you learn about vulvas? What do you think is the appropriate way/age at which little boys should learn about these organs? Has anyone been in a situation similar to mine?

If you want to learn more details about my issue, you may read the following text. It's a message that I sent to a friend of mine through Skype a few months ago. It explains in bigger detail what happened to me as a kid and teenager. Since me and my friend are both Bulgarians, I wrote the message in Bulgarian, but I translated it in English so you can learn more about my issue. Since English is not my primary language, I hope you'll excuse my cheesy English.

I'd say when I saw my first pornographic film when I was 7 or 8 years old. (stole it from my dad's room, and watched it)

While my friends were all educating themselves through the JCPenny catalog, I was educating myself with pornography, and the girls in my class.  I got to third base by the time I was 10 or 11 years old.  I got to home plate when I was 14.

Sex tastes good.

-Nam

[Graybeard]

I saw pictures of a big red one when I was about 7 or 8. Oh, sorry, I thought the thread was about Volvos...

[Nam]

I saw pictures of a big red one when I was about 7 or 8. Oh, sorry, I thought the thread was about Volvos...

I used to count Vuolvaos.

-Nam

[xphobe]

I had never heard of them until I watched the World Cup in South Africa on TV this year.  They're quite annoying!

Oh.  "vuvuzelas"?

Nevermind.

[Sky]

I didn't dare read this whole thread but if you are male you might as well start with Star Treck.

[Jontom10]

I too learned mostly about them from Top Gear magazine.

Can't see the link ?

Since passign my drivign test and driving on UK roads for over 20 years I have noticed that all Volvo drivers are cunts. That is why the word Volvo looks so much like vulva

For the original question. The first time I saw one properly was around the age of 12 (like you) and I had a Pandoras box moment. No it wasn't the girl next door called Pandora showing me her box, I had found my dads secret stash of porn mags. I of course then went on to educate my peers. Once the pr0n box wasn opened it could never be closed.

For the OP, go to a sex therapist.

[Nam]

I didn't dare read this whole thread but if you are male you might as well start with Star Treck.

There's no "c" in Trek.

-Nam

[Sky]

I didn't dare read this whole thread but if you are male you might as well start with Star Treck.

There's no "c" in Trek.

-Nam

never mind, but thanks for the correction.