Author Topic: Christian's most stupid answers to religious questions  (Read 1515 times)

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Online One Above All

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Christian's most stupid answers to religious questions
« on: June 05, 2009, 02:59:03 PM »
I told the same thing to three random Christians. Here's what happened

Me: It says in the Bible that we should stone people to death.

Christian #1: It's the Old Testament, it doesn't apply anymore.

Me: But isn't the WHOLE Bible God's word? And what God says is right, fair, just and perfect, right?

Christian #1: Well yes but Jesus said another thing! The Bible was written by humans and in the time the Bible was written they had to put some sort of punishment to make them afraid of sinning.

Me: But the Bible says what God TOLD humans to write. That makes no sense!

Christian #1: I give up. YOU are making no sense.

Me: I am making no sense?

Christian #1: Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall. (Seriously? And here I thought you were just pissed at me for proving you wrong)



Me: It says in the Bible that we should stone people to death.

Christian #2: It's a metaphor. It shouldn't be taken seriously.


Me: So only the most disgusting parts of the Bible (pretty much everything) are metaphors? Is there another book that I am unaware of that tells us which parts are metaphors and which aren't?


Christian #2: Well, you just have to know in your heart which parts are metaphors! Obviously killing people is against God's plan.

Me: You know God's plan?

Christian #2: Nobody knows God's plan but I am SURE he doesn't want that!

Me: If you don't know God's plan how can you know what he wants?

Christian #2: I just do, OK? He practically TOLD me so himself.

Me: You hear voices? Let me take you to a doctor.

Christian #2: I am fine. I went to see a doctor yesterday.

Me: But doesn't God answer every prayer? You could have just prayed to get better.

Christian #2: What? Look, I uh... I have to go. Bye


Me: It says in the Bible that we should stone people to death.

Christian #3: Of course we should! They are sinners and deserve to be punished!

Me: *Grabs a big rock* You have sinned by working on the sabbath. Prepare to die, sinner.

Christian #3: *Runs*

Me: (Yelling) YOU'D BETTER RUN YOU SINNER!!! YOU'RE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL!!! (Just trying to scare the guy. You should have seen the look on his face.)

Christian #3: *Gone*


Another argument but this time with two at the same time:

Me: I'm going to disprove your God. It says in the Bible that God answers EVERY prayer. So I say: "God, if you're there, please kill me now"... wow, nothing happened!

Them: Obviously, God loves everything

Me: God, if you're there, please lift this rock (a TINY rock, so small any ant could lift it. Guess what? You're right, the rock was NOT lifted by God. Not even by an ant or even the wind.)

Them: You didn't put your hands right.

Me: Screw you, God.


What were your most stupid arguments with Christians?

PS: I KNOW those who are less delusional KNOW that religion is just a piece of **** created to manipulate people. Otherwise they would have proved it already. I also know the second question was kinda stupid but since most Christians are also stupid I just thought it would work with them.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

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Offline bigdamhero

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Re: Christian's most stupid answers to religious questions
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2009, 03:25:58 PM »
PS: I KNOW those who are less delusional KNOW that religion is just a piece of **** created to manipulate people. Otherwise they would have proved it already. I also know the second question was kinda stupid but since most Christians are also stupid I just thought it would work with them.

I just wanted to point out that it is unfair to say "most christians are also stupid" when in reality most People are stupid and christians are just so darned obvious. Also I don't believe there is such a thing as a less delusional christian. If a christian recognizes the delusion they are no longer christian by biblegod's standards.

to actually answer the post I have been (un)fortunte enough to have had thousands of "discussions" with my minister father over my lifetime and the one answer I could never get over was to the question, "If we go to heaven anda loved one doesn't how can heaven be such a happy place when we have knowledge of our loved ones' suffering?". His answer was, "when we go to heaven we will just be souls, and in order for us to be happy we will not remember those who did not make it to heaven".

I took this in for a second and followed up with, "so you believe we will not retain our earthly identities in heaven?", appearantly this is what he beleived so I ellaborated, "so you love me and mom now but in heaven you will not recognize us as any different from anyone else who has died and gone to heaven in the history of mankind?" again he smiled and said "yes".

At this point I got up and walked away mumbling under my breath how heaven sounds like a pretty shitty idea, i still hadnt recognized my pregressing deconversion so i chalked it up to my own inability to grasp "perfection".
Me to my minister father, "If you want to truly understand why I'm an atheist, read the bible again"

Online One Above All

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Re: Christian's most stupid answers to religious questions
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2009, 03:34:57 PM »
that's just the problem, some people claim they know god may not exist BUT they say they are christian and not agnostic
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Offline bigdamhero

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Re: Christian's most stupid answers to religious questions
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2009, 03:40:49 PM »
they are what the delusional call doubting thomases (dammit that stounds stupid). I personally accepted that I could be wrong about god for many years and still held on to the delusion that he was real and if i doubted him I was personally insulting a potentially powerful being. Those who "claim to be christians" probably do so because of the residual damage caused by the years of indoctrination, they cant' call themselves agnostics because doing so will anger skydaddy - and this fear means they are still unable to accept the delusion as a delusion

(this was the first time i've publicly referred to biblegod as skydaddy, and while that may not mean much to most of you it just dawned on me how big a step that was. I also realized i wasnt struck down.... yet)
Me to my minister father, "If you want to truly understand why I'm an atheist, read the bible again"

Offline Graybeard

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Re: Christian's most stupid answers to religious questions
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2009, 03:50:19 PM »
[...]
(this was the first time i've publicly referred to biblegod as skydaddy, and while that may not mean much to most of you it just dawned on me how big a step that was. I also realized i wasnt struck down.... yet)
My uncle said such a thing and LO! 48 years, 8 months and 23 days to the day he hit his thumb with a hammer and it really hurt...  ;D
RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. Ambrose Bierce

Offline nogodsforme

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Re: Christian's most stupid answers to religious questions
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2009, 03:50:52 PM »

(this was the first time i've publicly referred to biblegod as skydaddy, and while that may not mean much to most of you it just dawned on me how big a step that was. I also realized i wasnt struck down.... yet)

I can relate to the feeling-- that if you stop being religious, you will spend your life ducking the lightning bolts! It takes a while, but after you blaspheme a bunch of times and nothing happens, the feeling will pass.  8)
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline Seank

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Re: Christian's most stupid answers to religious questions
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2009, 11:07:40 AM »
I just wanted to point out that it is unfair to say "most christians are also stupid" when in reality most People are stupid and christians are just so darned obvious. Also I don't believe there is such a thing as a less delusional christian. If a christian recognizes the delusion they are no longer christian by biblegod's standards.

Yup, agreed. There are plenty of people accepting evolution, yet their reasons for doing so appear shallow and almost religious. It's nice on one hand that they're accepting it, but I'd much prefer them to at least understand some of the basic principles that underpin it.
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