I can't remember when the day occurred for me but I was very young. it would be over the course of about 6 -12 years old.
I went to a catholic primary school and went to church every Sunday. I also liked (and still do) to read a lot. I read books on the saints and those books you read when waiting at the doctors explaining why humans lived so long in the beginning (there was no diesease back then, silly!)
I also had this interest in Space and planets and earth history which led me to books about evolution and universe origins. I remember being taught about how the earth was made according to the bible and stories like Noah's are and remember thinking that what I read and what I was being contradicted eachother.
I would ask questions to my teachers about how did animals like dinosaurs and Australopithecus fit into the bible picture - and got unsatisfactory answers eg. they didn't deem it necessary to put dinosaurs in the bible as it is not relevent to the story.
Needless to say my bullshit alarm finely tuned itself at quite a young age. I remember reading the tower of babel story that explained why people on earth speak different languages and even my prepubescent mind knew it was only a fantastic story invented by ancient people who didn't know any better.
I remember being 6 years old in grade prep and asking how the trinity worked. (how are they the same but separate? what exactly is the holy spirit?) and who made god; I was trying to imagine a being lying in space putting ribs into itself, but it just didn't work.
I read an absolute shit load about evolution, earth history, astronomy and religious texts etc, and along with sheer common sense concluded that the stories in the bible are just that - stories. And not only that, tragically outdated now that we as humans know more.
During my mid teens (I acknowledged myself as an atheist by then) I decided to read the whole bible to see what it was all about. I knew all the usual crap, the flood, red sea parting, jesus etc but wanted to read what humans over all these years had been worshipping and fighting wars about etc. And discovered many things.
a) a very, very, very, selective amount is read out at church. Very selective. Church is essentially brainless propaganda (although it could be worse).
b) the old testament, although has some fun stories about burning bushes, talking animals, ghosts, people living for centuries etc, it is VERY boring. There are hundreds of pages of pure boring shit.
c) suprising to me at the time, There were more than ten commandments. I ad never been taught anything other then the ten. I thought I was the only person on the planet who knew about this now. I read all of them and came to understand why they only read out 10.
c) whoever wrote Revelations was on some hardcore hooch.
Keep in mind I was never taught this. I read my books on evolution and astronomy and the bible out of curiosity and a thirst for the truth. I never knew anyone else who didn't believe in god until I was 16, so I was never coerced into it by anyone else.
But I felt the need for knowledge. I wanted answers. If I read a religious story or theory, I wanted proof, I wanted evidence.
"It is god's will" or "The lord works in mysterious ways" is for the simple of mind.
Now, I am at the point (and have been for many years now) where I couldn't believe in god even if I wanted to. No more than I can believe I can fly like superman or eat the moon.
Sadly throughout my youth and teens I began to realise the appalling truth. Adults not only still believed in god, but actually believed the bible stories that I, as a child, knew to be obvious fantasy.
To me this is disturbing. As a child I knew the obviousness of it but over thousands of years, billions of people have not. huh? I'm not a genius, so why can't most people see what is to me painfully obvious?
Anyway that is my story. I basically never really believed in god. By the time I was at the age to start really believing in an almighty being that created existence and would help me through life (or not) I had already disproved the notion. I would like for others to see the truth. Humans don't need religion. Like I have said before. It is like a nightlight for children afraid of the dark. Once they grow up, they know there is nothing there and no longer need it. It's time for humans to grow up and, slowly but surely, as the existence of this site shows, we are starting to. But we have a long frickin way to go.
