Author Topic: Jeff Sessions quotes his bible  (Read 134 times)

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Offline shnozzola

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Jeff Sessions quotes his bible
« on: June 14, 2018, 08:36:19 PM »

Jeff (you fucking idiot),

   First of all, you quote Paul.  Your religion isn't Paulianity, Jeff (you fucking idiot).  You follow Christianity - you know, Jesus Christ.  So you refer to Paul's verse where he says we must follow government laws.

    Fine. Your story is that Jesus was generally passed through government officials at different levels on his way to being crucified.  Your story is that when government officials were stoning a prostitute as per the government law, that Jesus shamed the government officials (like yourself, eh?) into realizing when the law is immoral.  Your story is that the good Samaritan was the only person that would help the stranger, after the government officials (like yourself, eh?) passed on by.  Christianity, Jeff (you fucking idiot) - that's your religion!

   I wonder if Kate McKinnon (as Jeff (you fucking idiot) Sessions) could do a SNL skit where she quotes  "the words of the lord":

"Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey."

   She could say, in her Jeff(you fucking idiot) Sessions accent, you Mexican rapists are lucky your children are only in cages.
And then she could say, as you, Jeff (you fucking idiot) - it's in the bible!

I so much despise everything republican Trumpland stands for.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2018, 08:41:13 PM by shnozzola »
We have guided missiles and misguided men.  ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Who cares if Kim Jung-Un gets a nuke. Nukes don’t kill people, people kill people.”

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: Jeff Sessions quotes his bible
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2018, 12:02:09 AM »
Stephen Colbert answered back with Bible verses of his own.

It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline Nick

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Re: Jeff Sessions quotes his bible
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2018, 08:32:25 AM »
Jesus said, "Bring Me the little children".  I guess He wanted to lock those little suckers up.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Religions are the dingle berries on the butt hairs of civilization.

Offline velkyn

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Re: Jeff Sessions quotes his bible
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2018, 11:23:19 AM »
Sessions is such a little Nazi.  He reminds me of the one in Blues Brothers. 
"There is no use in arguing with a man who can multiply anything by the square root of minus 1" - Pirates of Venus, ERB

Offline goofball9

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Re: Jeff Sessions quotes his bible
« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2018, 12:11:41 AM »
I find it entirely uninteresting that Sessions is now quoting a bible verse stating that god had ordained what he seems to be referring to as himself, Trump, and any legal authority figure to be [the holy law]

The same concept was reportedly used to advocate slavery...