Author Topic: 5 Tips to lead a happier life  (Read 790 times)

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Offline shnozzola

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5 Tips to lead a happier life
« on: March 19, 2017, 05:31:40 PM »
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Offline eh!

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Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2017, 05:41:26 PM »
1. Ego is imperative to identity.
2. Hate is fuel.
3. Worry is motivation
4. Want more, always.
5. Fuk kindness, just get along.

Vid is shit.
some skepisms,
1. "I have not seen God. I have felt the invisible presence"
2. What if there is a rock in the middle of a road, a blind person is speeding towards it, ...they say that they can't see it.   Would you recommend him to keep speeding?

Offline shnozzola

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Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2017, 05:48:47 PM »
Eh,
   Most of us are fine, and we look at this video as, well, corny, to use a word that is no longer used.   Over the years, we have had people on here who are contemplating suicide, just depressed and going down.   While simplistic, the video is for them - you don't need it.  I considered not posting it, because of WWGHA skepticism, but if one person perusing needed it, I can deal with your post, I'm a bit of a simpleton anyway.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.  ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Offline BlackLight

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Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2017, 08:24:21 PM »
1). Lie as infrequently as possible.
2). Be punctual.
3). Don't buy anything on credit.
4). Don't sweat the petty stuff.
5). Don't pet the sweaty stuff.
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Offline Astreja

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Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2017, 08:43:52 PM »
  • Put the pursuit of your own dreams well ahead of what other people think you "should" be doing -- particularly if they want you to service their dreams at the expense of your own.
  • Don't buy too much stupid crap, unless you really like holding garage sales or running boxes over to the thrift store.
  • Knowledge is your friend.  Stay curious.
  • Too much of anything -- food, drink, exercise, work, other -- tends to end badly.
  • Never give an asshole a second chance to hurt you.  "Forgive" does not mean "forget"; sometimes it means "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that jerk any more."
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Online velkyn

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Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2017, 09:34:02 PM »
 there are some great ideas here.  I love this forum because it has so many wise people on it.  I like Eh!'s feisty version. 

my contribution:

worry is imagination misused. Don't let it get away from you.  (and that isn't an original. I got it from this little book found in a desk probably from some team building class silliness)

and Blacklight, don't pet the sweaty stuff ????   :)   but but my horse!

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Offline eh!

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Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2017, 02:12:41 AM »
Re the ego, guys with big egos are generally shunned these days. If your ego is so big that you are delusional, irrational or harmful then its a bad thing.

A good dose of ego IMO is absolutely essential for survival and to stop you getting shat on. Fuk some Joopsychology or new age mystical shitte about losing your ego.

Very fashionable amongst modern progressives to deny the ego, go eat a dik I say and stop infecting young men with yr bullshit and Fuk all yr white male guilt.....beta male cucks, you are of no use to the species.

Rant off.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2017, 02:16:05 AM by eh! »
some skepisms,
1. "I have not seen God. I have felt the invisible presence"
2. What if there is a rock in the middle of a road, a blind person is speeding towards it, ...they say that they can't see it.   Would you recommend him to keep speeding?

Offline Boots

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Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2017, 01:33:00 PM »
Re the ego, guys with big egos are generally shunned these days. If your ego is so big that you are delusional, irrational or harmful then its a bad thing.

or it can get you elected fucking President.  (which is a bad thing, so you're right)
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Offline Emma286

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Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2017, 03:20:58 PM »
1. Ego is imperative to identity.
2. Hate is fuel.
3. Worry is motivation
4. Want more, always.
5. Fuk kindness, just get along.

Vid is shit.

Dunno about all of that. As far as I'm concerned I get triggered into experiencing strong negative emotions, at times, far too easily because of ego related problems (though that's not down to having a high opinion of myself). Energy spent hating people (though not denying I do this at times) tends to do me little good. It can easily keep me stuck in a bad mental place for ages when I could be making much better use of my time. Am sure I'm far from the only person who's experienced these things.

As for kindness, while I can appreciate that using it in some situation types isn't a good idea, in the right situations it can be a very helpful thing with regards to forming and maintaining human relationships.

I do agree that some worry is good though. It's excessive unproductive worrying that helps nobody. Also, if humans never wanted more/strived for more then there'd be no progression with anything we did!

Offline Emma286

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Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2017, 03:22:22 PM »
    • Never give an asshole a second chance to hurt you.  "Forgive" does not mean "forget"; sometimes it means "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that jerk any more."

    Too damn right.

    Offline Jstwebbrowsing

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #10 on: March 21, 2017, 12:45:43 AM »


    Those are very good tips and every one of them is in agreement with scriptural principles.
    Ye are my witnesses, saith Jehovah, and my servant whom I have chosen; that ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me.

    Isaiah 43:10

    Offline eh!

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #11 on: March 21, 2017, 01:55:19 AM »
    Scriptural principle is in agreement with them.
    What above eating shrimp, wrong fabric cloth, women speaking in church, stoning unruly children, hell......how does that make you happy.

    Why cherry pick.
    some skepisms,
    1. "I have not seen God. I have felt the invisible presence"
    2. What if there is a rock in the middle of a road, a blind person is speeding towards it, ...they say that they can't see it.   Would you recommend him to keep speeding?

    Offline Emma286

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #12 on: March 21, 2017, 03:36:46 AM »


    Those are very good tips and every one of them is in agreement with scriptural principles.

    Considering that this thread isn't about religious scripture jst, why do you feel that second comment is relevant?

    Offline Jstwebbrowsing

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #13 on: March 21, 2017, 04:20:11 AM »


    Those are very good tips and every one of them is in agreement with scriptural principles.

    Considering that this thread isn't about religious scripture jst, why do you feel that second comment is relevant?

    Because for me these areas are where the scriptures really shine, and very little time is spent on them.  They are full of good advice for living a happy fulfilled life.  You name an area of life and there are applicible principles that if applied will be of benefit.

    The Bible is not just about extraordinary claims, but also about getting the most out of life now.  For example, the scriptures teach, "there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving".  This principle relates to tip #1 in the video.  Is this scripture true?

    Ye are my witnesses, saith Jehovah, and my servant whom I have chosen; that ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me.

    Isaiah 43:10

    Offline eh!

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #14 on: March 21, 2017, 04:25:12 AM »
    Why you cherry picking, look at the whole scripture.

    Scripture tells children they are born sinners and are going to suffer eternal torture in hell....unless.

    some skepisms,
    1. "I have not seen God. I have felt the invisible presence"
    2. What if there is a rock in the middle of a road, a blind person is speeding towards it, ...they say that they can't see it.   Would you recommend him to keep speeding?

    Offline Jag

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #15 on: March 21, 2017, 09:28:18 AM »
    Considering that this thread isn't about religious scripture jst, why do you feel that second comment is relevant?

    I sometimes think this is jst's version of "witnessing", rather than going door to door.

    That, and he doesn't grasp how humans could figure this stuff out for themselves just by living together in groups.
    "Tell people that there's an invisible man in the sky that created the entire universe and the majority believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure." ~George Carlin

    Offline Emma286

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #16 on: March 22, 2017, 07:03:51 AM »


    Those are very good tips and every one of them is in agreement with scriptural principles.

    Considering that this thread isn't about religious scripture jst, why do you feel that second comment is relevant?

    Because for me these areas are where the scriptures really shine, and very little time is spent on them.  They are full of good advice for living a happy fulfilled life.  You name an area of life and there are applicible principles that if applied will be of benefit.

    The Bible is not just about extraordinary claims, but also about getting the most out of life now.  For example, the scriptures teach, "there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving".  This principle relates to tip #1 in the video.  Is this scripture true?

    If that's amongst your personal reasons as to why you see those are all good tips Jst, and that's why you made that original statement, fair enough. That just wasn't originally clear.

    Frankly I've got mixed feelings as to how true "there is more happiness in giving than receiving". Thinking further about it I'd say that's an over generalisation. I can think of a recent situation when I was doing a lot of people pleasing, with little gratitude shown in return for it, with regards to somebody (on a long term basis). I chose to tolerate this for a long while but it didn't make me very happy. For the most part, it made me feel pretty resentful/miserable (and ultimately like a stupid voluntary mug). What good can come out of giving lots of time/effort to do something for somebody who doesn't truly appreciate it/is indifferent to it? I don't see how they can be gaining anything good from it and what temporary good I did gain from it didn't last too long/was wiped out by the negative stuff.

    I'm not saying I think what you say can never be true. I just don't believe it always is. Think it's a situation dependent thing.
    « Last Edit: March 22, 2017, 08:40:32 AM by Emma286 »

    Offline Emma286

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #17 on: March 22, 2017, 07:16:03 AM »
    Considering that this thread isn't about religious scripture jst, why do you feel that second comment is relevant?

    I sometimes think this is jst's version of "witnessing", rather than going door to door.

    That, and he doesn't grasp how humans could figure this stuff out for themselves just by living together in groups.

    That is the impression I kind of got when first reading that relevant post of jst's above. I can understand why you'd get that idea.

    I do agree that this seems to come across in his posts from time to time. If his way of learning such ideas works well for him and other theists then not knocking that. But as you say it's not the only way to learn those ideas and certainly people can work them out by living together and learning from related experiences!  :)

    Offline Jstwebbrowsing

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #18 on: March 22, 2017, 02:49:55 PM »


    Those are very good tips and every one of them is in agreement with scriptural principles.

    Considering that this thread isn't about religious scripture jst, why do you feel that second comment is relevant?

    Because for me these areas are where the scriptures really shine, and very little time is spent on them.  They are full of good advice for living a happy fulfilled life.  You name an area of life and there are applicible principles that if applied will be of benefit.

    The Bible is not just about extraordinary claims, but also about getting the most out of life now.  For example, the scriptures teach, "there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving".  This principle relates to tip #1 in the video.  Is this scripture true?

    If that's amongst your personal reasons as to why you see those are all good tips Jst, and that's why you made that original statement, fair enough. That just wasn't originally clear.

    Frankly I've got mixed feelings as to how true "there is more happiness in giving than receiving". Thinking further about it I'd say that's an over generalisation. I can think of a recent situation when I was doing a lot of people pleasing, with little gratitude shown in return for it, with regards to somebody (on a long term basis). I chose to tolerate this for a long while but it didn't make me very happy. For the most part, it made me feel pretty resentful/miserable (and ultimately like a stupid voluntary mug). What good can come out of giving lots of time/effort to do something for somebody who doesn't truly appreciate it/is indifferent to it? I don't see how they can be gaining anything good from it and what temporary good I did gain from it didn't last too long/was wiped out by the negative stuff.

    I'm not saying I think what you say can never be true. I just don't believe it always is. Think it's a situation dependent thing.

    I agree that some things can rob you of the happiness of giving.  The scripture isn't a law that's saying to give on every occasion because it will make you happy but rather a guiding principle.  And I don't think it should be taken in isolation because, depending on the situation, there may other applicible principles that can affect your decision to give.  "Don't throw your pearls before swine" may be applicible in the situation you describe.  I don't know.  You would know better than I.  Sometimes situations are very complicated.

    But in my experience those that can't be bothered to even give a "thank you" appear to be very unhappy people so you probably still gained more happiness than they did. 

           
    « Last Edit: March 22, 2017, 02:51:27 PM by Jstwebbrowsing »
    Ye are my witnesses, saith Jehovah, and my servant whom I have chosen; that ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me.

    Isaiah 43:10

    Offline Jstwebbrowsing

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #19 on: March 22, 2017, 02:56:11 PM »
    Considering that this thread isn't about religious scripture jst, why do you feel that second comment is relevant?

    I sometimes think this is jst's version of "witnessing", rather than going door to door.

    That, and he doesn't grasp how humans could figure this stuff out for themselves just by living together in groups.

    My version of witnessing is to do so at every opportunity that does not cause offense.
    Ye are my witnesses, saith Jehovah, and my servant whom I have chosen; that ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me.

    Isaiah 43:10

    Offline albeto

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #20 on: March 22, 2017, 03:52:50 PM »
    I agree that some things can rob you of the happiness of giving.  The scripture isn't a law that's saying to give on every occasion because it will make you happy but rather a guiding principle.  And I don't think it should be taken in isolation because, depending on the situation, there may other applicible principles that can affect your decision to give.  "Don't throw your pearls before swine" may be applicible in the situation you describe.  I don't know.  You would know better than I.  Sometimes situations are very complicated.

    But in my experience those that can't be bothered to even give a "thank you" appear to be very unhappy people so you probably still gained more happiness than they did.   

    This is why scripture is useless as a moral or social guide. After all the cherry picking that eh! talks about, one has to then determine if any piece of advice is warranted in any given situation. In other words, one has to be aware of the situation, be aware of possible outcomes to the various behaviors, and weight the costs and benefits. This applies not only with regard to practicality, but preserving or strengthening social relationships as well as maintaining sense of moral code. As all this happens faster than you can blink your eye, scripture really has very little to do with determining social guidelines. Certainly not directly.

    Instead, years of conditioning with regard to certain moral boundaries, including social ones, automatically drive behavior and we're left justifying, or regretting, what we've done. Scripture may be an indirect influence, but the social community is the primary influence. We can see this when we observe some xian groups embracing non-traditional qualities like feminism and LGBTQ persons, and others treating these issues as inherently dangerous. Yet both groups embrace scripture. In reality, both groups have developed and internally reinforce complex social expectations, then refer to particular passages to justify those beliefs, excusing others in some way.

    I suspect when we talk about being happy, we're talking in some part about treating ourselves "right." I think we're applying the same mechanics to ourselves as we learn to apply to others. But, just like we have different rules for different people we know, we have different rules for ourselves. Ultimately though, the same process is applied by virtue of rewarding or punishing certain behaviors, and looking for cues of reward and punishment in order to modify our behavior. This video just encourages us to reward ourselves more and punish ourselves less. Sounds nice, like parts of scripture, but falls apart when looked at seriously.


    Offline Jag

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #21 on: March 22, 2017, 06:07:36 PM »
    My version of witnessing is to do so at every opportunity that does not cause offense.

    Well, unless you are also asking if you are offending every time, you don't really know if you are or not, do you?

    For the record, you don't offend me. I get bored with the repetition, and impatient as well, but not offended. Offend is far too strong.
    "Tell people that there's an invisible man in the sky that created the entire universe and the majority believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure." ~George Carlin

    Offline Emma286

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #22 on: March 23, 2017, 03:44:23 AM »
    I agree that some things can rob you of the happiness of giving.  The scripture isn't a law that's saying to give on every occasion because it will make you happy but rather a guiding principle.

    If that's how it's taught then fair enough Jst. I had the idea it was meant as a rigid absolute rule but willing to consider that I had the wrong idea.

    Quote
    And I don't think it should be taken in isolation because, depending on the situation, there may other applicible principles that can affect your decision to give.  "Don't throw your pearls before swine"

    Yeah...can appreciate where you're coming from with all that. At least somewhat anyway. I started to become far too dependent on the idea of getting this person's approval/being happy with what I was doing to try and help them out to feel good about myself (well actually it wasn't the only reason why I was doing what I was but it was still a major reason). I guess it could be argued that was truly a selfish motive (though most likely the guy would have thought I was being selfish/would have accused me of being selfish if I hadn't done anything so either way I couldn't win). He was definitely the wrong kind of person to volunteer any helping out time and effort for.

    Quote
    But in my experience those that can't be bothered to even give a "thank you" appear to be very unhappy people so you probably still gained more happiness than they did.

    I do think he is a very psychologically damaged/wounded person. I do imagine much of the time that (unconsciously at least) he is very unhappy. I guess that last is always possible.
     
    « Last Edit: March 23, 2017, 03:50:31 AM by Emma286 »

    Offline junebug72

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #23 on: March 23, 2017, 05:35:34 AM »
    I regret to say in my experience this doesn't work due to PTSD. 

    It seems to me almost like the old pull yourself up by the bootstrap. 

    My question is how does this work with PTSD?  How do you see goodness in people when people are the threat? 

    Sam Harris said something that really resonates with me.  He gets a lot of hate mail/posts and he says he visions those words as a river and watches them flow by.  This was just a few days ago but I'm trying it and it seems to work. 

    It's my opinion that words hurt us more than anything else.  At least that's my experience with words.  My words hurt me if they offend others. 

    Happiness is extremely difficult for me.  Theism didn't help.  Atheism doesn't help. 

    What I think I need is mindfulness.  The kind Sam Harris describes. 


    « Last Edit: March 23, 2017, 06:07:12 AM by junebug72 »
    MY POSTS CAN TAKE DAYS FOR APPROVAL.....

    Offline Emma286

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #24 on: March 23, 2017, 11:20:59 AM »
    Can't recall if I mentioned this to you before, Junebug, but one book I own on Mindfulness (that does help with problem moods at times) is this one:

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X

    You may or may not want to look into it. Thought I'd mention it just in case you might. Hadn't heard of Sam Harris before. Glad that you are finding some of what he says helpful.
    « Last Edit: March 23, 2017, 11:23:30 AM by Emma286 »

    Offline albeto

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #25 on: March 23, 2017, 11:30:42 AM »
    I regret to say in my experience this doesn't work due to PTSD.

    It seems to me almost like the old pull yourself up by the bootstrap. 
     

    I don't have PTSD but this doesn't work for me, either. I think you're right that it's the old pull yourself up by the bootstraps routine. Or as I know it, "blaming the victim." I feel that way about scripture, too, which is why I find it inherently offensive.

    Offline Emma286

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #26 on: March 23, 2017, 12:58:26 PM »
    I just looked that 'bootstraps' saying up. I get what it means now!

    I'm not surprised, Junebug and Albeto, that you don't find such an idea/attitude helpful/offensive. Nobody can do absolutely everything on their own. We all need help at various points in our life of some kind to different degrees.

    Offline albeto

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #27 on: March 23, 2017, 02:19:15 PM »
    I just looked that 'bootstraps' saying up. I get what it means now!

    I'm not surprised, Junebug and Albeto, that you don't find such an idea/attitude helpful/offensive. Nobody can do absolutely everything on their own. We all need help at various points in our life of some kind to different degrees.

    Sure. Help is always nice. It's nice to get and it can be nice to give. And sometimes, help just doesn't work. Have you ever met someone with treatment-resistant depression? Some people will always experience limited happiness, despite good help and all the efforts put into improving their emotional well being. And I think it's okay to admit that moods and attitudes exist on a spectrum, and good health is not as simple as willing yourself "better."

    Offline shnozzola

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    Re: 5 Tips to lead a happier life
    « Reply #28 on: March 23, 2017, 04:31:11 PM »
    I regret to say in my experience this doesn't work due to PTSD. 

    OK Junebug,
       Lets work on this.  Five things.
          Lose ego
          Forgive
          Stop worrying
          Be satisfied with what you have
          Be kind

       What would you say is the toughest for you to do of the five?  I think for myself it is to worry less.  I obsess over things that I can't control anyway.   But as for ego, I know from experience that doing something for someone else, without expecting anything in return, does help make me happy.  And the opposite of that - I know people who refuse to accept gifts.  I find that a very strong indication of their views about other people, a look at their egos.   

       Junebug, you say:
       
    Quote
    "How do you see goodness in people when people are the threat" 

    That is tough.  I can imagine having that feeling for 50 years of one's life, then near death, and saying, "What the f**k?"  What was the point of that life?  It had absolutely no point.

       I don't look at life like that at all.  I think because I'm not too smart.  I watched this Italian lady on a youtube video making homemade manicotti.  She's swearing (I cook dis for my fuckin family), then starting to cry, then making fun of her husband holding the camera ("Frank's sayin, wrap dis up, I'm hungry over ere", with a strong Brooklyn accent)  - she seemed like something right out of the Sopranos series.   Cracked me up, and I had fun making the best manicotti I ever had. Went great with the same IPA I'm drinking now.

       I couple years ago I told my wife - let's go to Paris for the weekend.  And we were close.  I almost had her talked into a long weekend.  It all would have been on credit cards.  We would have eaten bread and eggs all weekend.  She was worried about terrorists.  Worried about the expense.  Worried about the hotel.  Worried about the water.  Worried about not knowing the language.  Worried about athlete's feet.  Worried about what to wear.  Worried about.......  We didn't go.  It's still one thing on a heluva bucket list, enough for 3 lives.  When am I going to have time to learn Chinese?
    « Last Edit: March 23, 2017, 04:35:22 PM by shnozzola »
    We have guided missiles and misguided men.  ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.