Author Topic: The Penis Tree  (Read 360 times)

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Offline Graybeard

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The Penis Tree
« on: August 01, 2014, 07:41:32 AM »
Of course, in the Middle Ages when Chirsitians believed everything, life for nuns was not without its pleasures. The alternative is that the penis tree is now exitinct.



http://discardingimages.tumblr.com/post/58054390063/nuns-and-the-penis-tree-roman-de-la-rose-france
Nobody says “There are many things that we thought were natural processes, but now know that a god did them.”

Online One Above All

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2014, 07:45:21 AM »
...What the actual fuck?
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

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Offline Jag

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2014, 09:18:06 AM »
^^^What he said....
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline Ataraxia

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2014, 09:22:42 AM »
Are they playing spot the priest?
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." - Voltaire

Offline viperslayer

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2014, 09:36:25 AM »
Really shouldn't be any surprise, a lot of things were easily believed back in the Middle Ages, before many people were educated, or should I say more so?  Anyway, artists (mainly ones who were hired by the church to do paintings) had to make the life the nuns and priests made look more tantalizing and appealing, so they would add their interpretation of what should be, and what people would want to see, in contrast to the hermit like existence that many of them took.  So, in this painting, sex is obviously being brought out here to show that even nuns can still experience a healthy sex life with their vows, and that they wouldn't have to worry about not being able to experience it any more.  Through this "magical penis tree".  Still I wonder what the artist was on when he did the painting though.
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It tolls for thee."

Offline Jag

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2014, 09:41:54 AM »
I poked around at the other end of the link in the OP. There's some very cool paintings on the other end. Interesting insights into the Middle Ages, whether you think art imitates life or that life imitates art.

For instance, Alexander the Great was apparently fathered by a dragon. http://discardingimages.tumblr.com/post/62648938306/hey-dragon-youre-not-supposed-to-be-here
« Last Edit: August 01, 2014, 09:43:52 AM by Jag »
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline rev45

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2014, 09:50:10 AM »
Where's the money tree?
Here read a book.  It's free.
http://www.literatureproject.com/

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Offline kcrady

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2014, 09:50:43 AM »
Caption time!

Petunia picked a peck of pickled peckers!

"With trees like this, who needs St. Peter?"

Sister Agnes and Sister Mehetabel ponder the great theological mystery of why Eve ever even bothered with that other tree.

"Quick!  Get as many as you can while Father O'Malley is busy with the Vagina Tree!"

"'Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me!'"  "You said it, Sister!"

"When Jesus said that bit about 'a good tree bears good fruit,' he wasn't kiddin'!"

"We have to harvest these quick, they only stay firm for a couple minutes!"

Shocking proof of GMO's in the Middle Ages!  Coming up, on Ancient Aliens!

In the Renaissance, artists used fig leaves to hide penises, but in previous centuries, they used penises to hide fig leaves.

"I haven't seen this many dicks in one place since the Council of Chalcedon!"
"The question of whether atheists are, you know, right, typically gets sidestepped in favor of what is apparently the much more compelling question of whether atheists are jerks."

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Offline Boots

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2014, 12:32:00 PM »
Caption time!

Petunia picked a peck of pickled peckers!

"With trees like this, who needs St. Peter?"

Sister Agnes and Sister Mehetabel ponder the great theological mystery of why Eve ever even bothered with that other tree.

"Quick!  Get as many as you can while Father O'Malley is busy with the Vagina Tree!"

"'Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me!'"  "You said it, Sister!"

"When Jesus said that bit about 'a good tree bears good fruit,' he wasn't kiddin'!"

"We have to harvest these quick, they only stay firm for a couple minutes!"

Shocking proof of GMO's in the Middle Ages!  Coming up, on Ancient Aliens!

In the Renaissance, artists used fig leaves to hide penises, but in previous centuries, they used penises to hide fig leaves.

"I haven't seen this many dicks in one place since the Council of Chalcedon!"

heh.

"Watch it when you gather those--you might prick your finger!"

"Boy, tending this garden correctly sure makes a vas deferens in the yield."

"This gives a new meaning to 'planting your root!'"

"No, I wanted an CHESTNUT tree."
* Religion: institutionalized superstition, period.

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Offline Graybeard

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2014, 12:33:14 PM »




The Vegetable Lamb of Tartary - http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/WSS/post.php?blog=63&post=2341

Quote
The Vegetable Lamb, or Lamb-Tree, was a popular myth of the Middle Ages that described a live lamb growing from a very special plant. It was believed to come from a vast region of Europe and Central Asia known then as Tartary, which gave the Vegetable Lamb one of its many alternate names, Borametz, which was the Tartar word for "lamb". Medieval texts described two varieties of the Vegetable Lamb - the first produced little naked, newborn lambs inside its pods, and the other had a life-sized lamb, with bones, blood and flesh, attached by its belly button to a short plant stem. This stem was extremely flexible, so allowed the tethered lamb to graze on the vegetation around it. Once all the vegetation was eaten, or if the stem broke, the lamb would die. The alternate variety of Vegetable Lamb plant, where newborn lambs are born from pods.

The origin of the myth has been traced all the way back to 436, first mentioned as Adne Hasadeh (meaning 'lords of the field') in a Jewish text called Talmud Ierosolimitanum,

Now this seems as if it is completely ridiculous but we know who started the rumour, and he didn't do it on purpose, nor was he making anything up:

Quote
Nineteenth century British naturalist, Henry Lee  connected the myth of the Vegetable Lamb of Tartary to the Indian cotton-pod, pointing to yet another moniker, 'the Scythian Lamb'. Scythia at the time described many regions in Europe and Asia, but Lee points to Indo-Scythia, a region of India that Alexander the Great would invade in the 4th Century.

Alexander's officer Nearchus sometime in the 4th century, reported that when they got there, they found its locals clad in a "vegetable wool[1]",
 1. later identified as cotton wool.
The translation of Nearchus's words[2] are

"Garments the material of which was whiter than any other … made of the wool like that of lambs, which grew in tufts and bunches upon trees,"

Now, what does the which refer to? "wool" or "lambs"? and thus stupidity starts as someone decided it referred to lambs - which is not unreasonable, as the realtive pronoun which should be placed nearest to the noun to which it refers.
 2. I am aware that Nearchus is unlikely to have spoken English but, in accordance with Chomsky's theory of recursive speech, the relative pronoun exisited in whatever language Nearchus spoke.
« Last Edit: August 01, 2014, 12:35:51 PM by Graybeard »
Nobody says “There are many things that we thought were natural processes, but now know that a god did them.”

Offline Backspace

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #10 on: August 01, 2014, 08:35:20 PM »
Makes one wonder how science might have changed if Newton had been hit on the head with a penis rather than an apple...  :o
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Offline kcrady

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #11 on: August 01, 2014, 11:28:57 PM »
Makes one wonder how science might have changed if Newton had been hit on the head with a penis rather than an apple...  :o

"By Jove, I've got it!  Masses are attracted to one another because they want to have sex!"

And so it came to pass, that one Sir Isaac Newton was dismissed as a crackpot by his peers, and quietly locked away in the attic by his family, where he continued his researches into alchemy, Biblical prophecy, and a search for arcane truths hidden in the measurements of the Great Pyramid, while muttering incoherently about his sexual frustration and how the whole Universe must feel the same way.
"The question of whether atheists are, you know, right, typically gets sidestepped in favor of what is apparently the much more compelling question of whether atheists are jerks."

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Offline Antidote

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #12 on: August 04, 2014, 06:43:41 PM »
Holy phallus, I'm gone for a few months and come back to this?
lmao, I'm surprised that's an actual thing o.0
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Offline Mrjason

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #13 on: August 06, 2014, 10:17:29 AM »
Caption time!

Petunia picked a peck of pickled peckers!

"With trees like this, who needs St. Peter?"

Sister Agnes and Sister Mehetabel ponder the great theological mystery of why Eve ever even bothered with that other tree.

"Quick!  Get as many as you can while Father O'Malley is busy with the Vagina Tree!"

"'Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me!'"  "You said it, Sister!"

"When Jesus said that bit about 'a good tree bears good fruit,' he wasn't kiddin'!"

"We have to harvest these quick, they only stay firm for a couple minutes!"

Shocking proof of GMO's in the Middle Ages!  Coming up, on Ancient Aliens!

In the Renaissance, artists used fig leaves to hide penises, but in previous centuries, they used penises to hide fig leaves.

"I haven't seen this many dicks in one place since the Council of Chalcedon!"

heh.

"Watch it when you gather those--you might prick your finger!"

"Boy, tending this garden correctly sure makes a vas deferens in the yield."

"This gives a new meaning to 'planting your root!'"

"No, I wanted an CHESTNUT tree."

"This explains why we went gathering nuts in May"

Offline Nam

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #14 on: August 15, 2014, 01:04:45 AM »
Caption time!

Petunia picked a peck of pickled peckers!

"With trees like this, who needs St. Peter?"

Sister Agnes and Sister Mehetabel ponder the great theological mystery of why Eve ever even bothered with that other tree.

"Quick!  Get as many as you can while Father O'Malley is busy with the Vagina Tree!"

"'Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me!'"  "You said it, Sister!"

"When Jesus said that bit about 'a good tree bears good fruit,' he wasn't kiddin'!"

"We have to harvest these quick, they only stay firm for a couple minutes!"

Shocking proof of GMO's in the Middle Ages!  Coming up, on Ancient Aliens!

In the Renaissance, artists used fig leaves to hide penises, but in previous centuries, they used penises to hide fig leaves.

"I haven't seen this many dicks in one place since the Council of Chalcedon!"

You didn't mention the obvious one: "Where's the nuts?"

-Nam
This thread is about lab-grown dicks, not some mincy, old, British poof of an actor. 

Let's get back on topic, please.


Offline Add Homonym

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Re: The Penis Tree
« Reply #15 on: August 18, 2014, 04:49:46 AM »
http://www.gotmedieval.com/2010/02/just-a-fruit-tree-i-swear-innocent-whistle.html

The medieval site says it's a book for sale to upper class people, for amusement.
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