Author Topic: jesus last words....  (Read 206 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline eh!

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1593
  • Darwins +60/-31
  • Gender: Male
  • jimmy hendrix is jesus
jesus last words....
« on: July 03, 2014, 06:38:24 PM »
Why different versions. you would think this one thing wouldn't get effed up.
Signature goes here...

Offline superfly

  • Postgraduate
  • *****
  • Posts: 686
  • Darwins +4/-0
  • Gender: Male
  • go ride a bicycle
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2014, 07:19:54 PM »
What Jesus really said:

"Hey John, from up here I can see your house!"
Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile!
Kurt Vonnegut

Offline eh!

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1593
  • Darwins +60/-31
  • Gender: Male
  • jimmy hendrix is jesus
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2014, 07:40:05 PM »
What the roman guard said; yo jesus can you cross your legs i run outta nails.
Signature goes here...

Offline kcrady

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1291
  • Darwins +406/-1
  • Gender: Male
  • Your Friendly Neighborhood Cephalopod Overlord
    • My blog
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2014, 01:48:08 AM »
JESUS: *sings*  Always look on the briiiiiiight siiiiide of life!  *whistles*
"The question of whether atheists are, you know, right, typically gets sidestepped in favor of what is apparently the much more compelling question of whether atheists are jerks."

--Greta Christina

Offline eh!

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1593
  • Darwins +60/-31
  • Gender: Male
  • jimmy hendrix is jesus
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2014, 01:49:58 AM »
Shitty way to spend an easter vacation...
Signature goes here...

Offline bertatberts

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1427
  • Darwins +51/-8
  • Gender: Male
  • Humanists. Not perfect. Not forgiven. Responsible.
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2014, 06:11:55 AM »

If he existed then Jesus' last words were

Elee, Elee, Lema shabaqthanee "O God! O God! Why have you forsaken me?"

But actually were "Aaarrrgggg(sigh)" 
We theists have no evidence for our beliefs. So no amount of rational evidence will dissuade us from those beliefs. - JCisall

It would be pretty piss poor brainwashing, if the victims knew they were brainwashed, wouldn't it? - Screwtape. 04/12/12

Offline Mrjason

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1278
  • Darwins +92/-2
  • Gender: Male
  • WWGHA Member
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #6 on: July 04, 2014, 06:20:49 AM »

If he existed then Jesus' last words were

Elee, Elee, Lema shabaqthanee "O God! O God! Why have you forsaken me?"



Which doesn't really make sense, "O Me! O Me! Why have I forsaken Me."
So much for omniscience.

Offline Airyaman

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 4173
  • Darwins +17/-2
  • Gender: Male
  • Alignment: True Neutral
    • Moving Beyond Faith
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #7 on: July 04, 2014, 06:34:50 AM »
The different versions exist because the writers were likely not collaborating. They probably had a base set of Jesus happenings (Mark? "Q"?) and then filled in the rest with local word of mouth. That explains why Paul had no idea that Jesus was born of a virgin. He too only knew bits and pieces of this Jesus character, everything he wrote was based on a supposed encounter on a road with a ball of light and time with some of the followers of Jesus. This also explains why Luke and Matthew had different genealogies.

In any case, it all reads like urban legend to most of us, so these differences aren't much to consider.
If you are following God why can I still see you?

Offline eh!

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1593
  • Darwins +60/-31
  • Gender: Male
  • jimmy hendrix is jesus
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #8 on: July 04, 2014, 06:37:30 AM »
But why how do the gospels have different last words.

no small point. do xians actually read the bible or is it just atheists who actually read it???
Signature goes here...

Offline Airyaman

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 4173
  • Darwins +17/-2
  • Gender: Male
  • Alignment: True Neutral
    • Moving Beyond Faith
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #9 on: July 04, 2014, 06:52:20 AM »
Yes, some of us do read it, but we do so often to point out these differences. I am #1 guilty of that. I have made an extremely strong case against Jesus being the "messiah" and yet Christians who have no answers to what I show in their own scripture simply take on the role of amateur apologist and use the old chestnut about all of it happening in the future. Makes sense though, because that is all many Christians have to direct their beliefs. There is no god, so they read a book, find others who believe as they do about said book, and defend their beliefs as being the most accurate.

Btw, this is not true of all Christians, but in reality, no book = no Jesus.
If you are following God why can I still see you?

Offline 12 Monkeys

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 4613
  • Darwins +105/-11
  • Gender: Male
  • Dii hau dang ijii
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #10 on: July 04, 2014, 09:27:49 AM »
What Jesus really said:

"Hey John, from up here I can see your house!"
it was Peters house,not johns
There's no right there's no wrong,there's just popular opinion (Brad Pitt as Jeffery Goines in 12 monkeys)

Offline superfly

  • Postgraduate
  • *****
  • Posts: 686
  • Darwins +4/-0
  • Gender: Male
  • go ride a bicycle
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #11 on: July 10, 2014, 03:20:13 PM »
What Jesus really said:

"Hey John, from up here I can see your house!"
it was Peters house,not johns

Same joke, different punchline, still funny.  8)
Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile!
Kurt Vonnegut

Offline Defiance

  • Postgraduate
  • *****
  • Posts: 666
  • Darwins +26/-2
  • Gender: Male
  • Can't be mad at something that doesn't exist.
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #12 on: July 10, 2014, 11:04:56 PM »
Did you guys ever think of "Ouch"?
"God is just and fair"
*God kills 2.5 million of people he KNEW would turn out like this in the flood*
*Humanity turns bad again, when God knew it would*
We should feel guilty for this.

Offline screwtape

  • The Great Red Dragon
  • Administrator
  • *******
  • Posts: 12338
  • Darwins +677/-28
  • Gender: Male
  • Karma mooch
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #13 on: July 11, 2014, 07:44:26 AM »
jesus walks into an inn, throws three nails on the desk and asks, "can you put me up for the night?"
Links:
Rules
Guides & Tutorials

What's true is already so. Owning up to it does not make it worse.

Offline Defiance

  • Postgraduate
  • *****
  • Posts: 666
  • Darwins +26/-2
  • Gender: Male
  • Can't be mad at something that doesn't exist.
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #14 on: July 11, 2014, 07:52:28 AM »
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus.

The picture only needs one nail to hang up.

#Going to hell anyways.
"God is just and fair"
*God kills 2.5 million of people he KNEW would turn out like this in the flood*
*Humanity turns bad again, when God knew it would*
We should feel guilty for this.

Offline screwtape

  • The Great Red Dragon
  • Administrator
  • *******
  • Posts: 12338
  • Darwins +677/-28
  • Gender: Male
  • Karma mooch
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #15 on: July 11, 2014, 07:59:07 AM »
But why how do the gospels have different last words.

because they are not actual first hand accounts.  And even if they were, human perception and memory is pretty terrible. 
Links:
Rules
Guides & Tutorials

What's true is already so. Owning up to it does not make it worse.

Online ParkingPlaces

  • Professor
  • ********
  • Posts: 6459
  • Darwins +768/-6
  • Gender: Male
  • Hide and Seek World Champion since 1958!
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #16 on: July 11, 2014, 08:15:05 AM »
I don't know for sure about his last words, but I know his last private thought.

"Gee, I sure hope that this insignificant (albeit cruel) event in human history isn't blown out of proportion or anything…"
Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Offline eh!

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1593
  • Darwins +60/-31
  • Gender: Male
  • jimmy hendrix is jesus
Re: jesus last words....
« Reply #17 on: July 11, 2014, 11:55:31 AM »
"funny the the things i do to myself"


"Jesus - yo dad what's for chow tonight, will be home in a few hours.  God - how you getting home son. jesus - ressurection and ascension. God - thanks me, i mean you, jesus - your, i mean I'm welcome. both laugh.
Signature goes here...