Author Topic: Bye for now  (Read 225 times)

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Offline Disciple of Sagan

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Bye for now
« on: June 21, 2014, 08:28:26 PM »
For the past, nine months, I have watched my mother's physical and emotional well-being slowly deteriorate over what had been one misdiagnosis after another before her doctors had finally managed to diagnose her with a "very rare" motor neuron disorder (some form of ALS).

Today was the last day of the only "treatment" shown to have any hope of possibly restoring her ability to walk; a five-day infusion of antibodies meant to bolster her own failing ones. Now, it's a matter of waiting to see if this has any positive effect. Until then, my family is hoping for the best.

One thing you need to know about my girlfriend in order to put in to context what I am about to share is that when we first met, she was an agnostic and a skeptic just like myself. Over the past year or so, however, I have watched her slowly assume a bizarre spiritualistic mindset where she has convinced herself that all of the "strange" coincidences in her life are the result of some "higher intelligence" trying to contact/guide her. This has resulted in us having more and more frequent arguments about our respective opinions on what constitutes reality.

It was this past Monday while stopping home on my work break to give my girlfriend an update as to my mother's health that she blindsided me with what was a cruel and completely uncalled for criticism that was a direct attact on my non-belief in god(s).

The first words out of her mouth were that I was doing my mother a "diservice" by not praying for her recovery, and that it was my "pride" that was preventing me from doing the one thing that might be my mother's only hope.

I don't have the will or desire to go in to the vicious verbal fight that followed, but I was left both hurt, stunned and angry that she had chosen that time... knowing that I have spent almost every day worrying and looking after my mom... to basically attempt to put a guilt trip on me, as if it was my non-belief to blame for "God" not answering my mother's own prayers for a cure for her condition.

Anyhow, while outwardly I am keeping an optimistic attitude for my mother's sake, inwardly have been in a very dark state of mind where I simply cannot deal with anyone of a theistic nature and their bullshit views on "prayers" and "miracles" for fear of venting my pent-up anger and disgust by responding in a vicious and scathing manner that would serve very little purpose other than to possibly get me reported and put in "watched" mode.

So, I feel it best to step away from the Forum until I know one way or the other what my mother's future, physical health will be and to process the end of my relationship with my now ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately, we own a house together which is going to be a whole, new hornet's nest of problems to deal with.

Bye for now.

 Jen


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The only thing bigger than the universe is humanity's collective sense of self-importance.

Online One Above All

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Re: Bye for now
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2014, 08:40:20 PM »
Good luck with your mother.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

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Offline eh!

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Re: Bye for now
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2014, 08:42:09 PM »
This sux, firstly all the best for your mother. hope she gets better. secondly ditch the bitch GF. thirdly i am gonna miss you.
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Offline kin hell

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Re: Bye for now
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2014, 12:49:08 AM »
...best of all possible worlds for you
"...but on a lighter note, demons were driven from a pig today in Gloucester."  Bill Bailey

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Offline Jag

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Re: Bye for now
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2014, 11:27:54 AM »
Oh crap Jen, I'm so sorry all of this is piling on at once. Let us know if there's anything we can do to help you cope. We're here whenever you can get back. Take care of you, along with your mother.
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Online Defiance

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Re: Bye for now
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2014, 09:34:39 PM »
We'll miss you. Take care.
"God is just and fair"
*God kills 2.5 million of people he KNEW would turn out like this in the flood*
*Humanity turns bad again, when God knew it would*
We should feel guilty for this.

Offline screwtape

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Re: Bye for now
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2014, 07:55:32 AM »
DoS,

I am sorry to hear of your problems.  I hope everything works out well.  Be tough.  Don't let the bastards grind you down.

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Offline wright

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Re: Bye for now
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2014, 03:39:23 PM »
Very sorry to hear of your troubles, DoS. Wishing you the best, hope to see you back when you can spare the time.

Here's a poem I wrote for a friend about her and her mother; hope it provides some perspective.

Dancing now.

Years ago a friend's mother, weary with Time,
spoke of her tiredness, her loss of the light so far back,
the years beyond her touch.

Her daughter listened, and helped her dress.
Daughter took mother's hand and both danced,
circling each other like sister planets.

Now Time moved with her,
an invited partner following her lead
and the past was recalled without regret
and the future foreseen without fear.

And the present was only a laughing place,
where two friends danced.

C. Cooper
Live a good life... If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. I am not afraid.
--Marcus Aurelius

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: Bye for now
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2014, 05:04:38 PM »
As a home health nurse I have seen what a chronic degenerative disease diagnosis does to patients and their families.  Every one reacts differently.  You are very special and will be able to help your mom get through this.  Make sure you also take care of you.  I will keep you in my thoughts.  PM me if you want to chat or vent. 
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline eh!

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Re: Bye for now
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2014, 06:23:03 AM »
I think it would do DOS to keep participating thru this time.
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Offline Graybeard

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Re: Bye for now
« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2014, 08:21:29 AM »
So, I feel it best to step away from the Forum until I know one way or the other what my mother's future, physical health will be and to process the end of my relationship with my now ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately, we own a house together which is going to be a whole, new hornet's nest of problems to deal with.

Bye for now.

 Jen
Sorry to see you have to leave, not only as you are a good and thoughtful poster, but also in view of the circumstances.

Even if all this takes a while, don't forget to come back.
Nobody says “There are many things that we thought were natural processes, but now know that a god did them.”