^^^^I love the part where god randomly speeds up and slows down natural processes to match what the bible says, based on the fact that most people nowadays accept the information scientists have discovered. No record of that ever happening in nature, or in human documentation. But we were not there, so we cannot say it didn't happen!
Yeah, I don't know why more people don't understand that. That's pretty cool about the angels and fairies. I hadn't heard that, but, I'll be sharing it to prove my faith to more people. You have no reason to lie to me, and what I read there from you is just as believable as what I read in the Bible. The only thing is... can you verify to me that God inspired you to write that stuff about Angels flying out of Putin's butt? I want to be scientific so I'm asking you to verify that God told you to say it.
Like, yeah, there was evolution...grumble grumble...but it wasn't that slow, stupid evilution you satanic scientists are babbling about, what with your dirty old fossils and silly DNA evidence. Because you weren't there, so you don't actually know, do you?
I think stuff like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiktaalik
Is all made up by satan to try to trick you out of believing in god. We all know that the Grand Canyon was formed when more water than exists on all the earth drained off through some plug in the Grand Canyon that doesn't exist either.
What happened was this really superspeedy godly hyperevolution that changed the handful of "kinds" of critters on the ark into all the millions of species we have today, and flung them all around the world to the correct habitats in a few thousand years. And people were there, but they didn't notice that animals were having babies of different species each generation. New animals, plants, fish and insects just magically appeared in forests, on islands, in deserts and on mountaintops. Every few weeks.
That's plausible. Also the speeding up and slowing down of natural processes helps to explain why other societies were thriving at the exact same time as the worldwide global flood that covered every inch of land.
We know for sure that the worldwide flood happened, because God said so in his book that says he's real... so based on that, we work downwards and figure out why all the evidence makes it look like no worldwide flood happened at all... you're getting it.
Because magical things were happening all the time in those days, and nobody wrote all that boring stuff down. People came back from the dead. The sun stood still. Giant dinosaurs walked the earth along side of people. God sped nature up and slowed it down. Ho hum.
People just recorded exciting, important stuff back then, because papyrus and clay was expensive. They wrote down the depth of the Nile river every year, and tax records, and love letters, and grocery lists to remind people how many slaves to pick up in the market...you know, really unusual stuff.
The important thing for you to understand here is that God can't be tested, so he has to trick any evidence that would prove him. Let's say you were a prophet of God right? And you wanted to prove that he was real... and you wanted Yahweh to compete in some test against some other god... let's call him Baal. Let's say you wanted God to light your altar on fire, and because Baal doesn't act for his followers, that PROVES he doesn't exist... well, God can't do stuff like that because God can't be tested. Giving people proof would violate their free will.
So Yahweh can't participate in some contest to prove he exists, started by some guy, let's call him Elijah, and after Yahweh provides proof, we happily bloodily slaughter all the prophets of Baal...
...wait, what? That happened?
...well God can't give us evidence NOW because it'd violate our free will now, but he COULD give evidence THEN because his OBJECTIVE UNCHANGING GOOD MORALITY allowed for things like God vs God contests where the loser priests are butchered back then, but he changed the rules in his unchanging good nature.
Make sense? You with me?
That's how we know for a fact that magical stuff happened. Because nobody noticed it.
That's right. Obviously people were afraid of persecution, so, they didn't write about the miracles outside of the guys who wrote the gospels a few decades after it happened. A few decades is too short of time to get any details wrong in the bronze age, and they were the only ones brave enough to write about it, so, that's how we know it's 100% verified.
Stew on that atheists, when you're screaming of 3rd degree burns for eternity and I'm kicking back praising Jesus with great praise in my white robe and halo on streets paved from gold that God couldn't spare to help poor people in this world.
Hahah! I win all debates! I am a master debater!