Author Topic: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?  (Read 702 times)

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Offline One Above All

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Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« on: May 11, 2014, 03:07:16 AM »
So, who do you think is the most badass god ever? Thor? Odin? YHWH? Quetzalcoatl? The One Above All? Obelisk the Tormentor? Slifer the Executive Producer Sky Dragon? Mega Ultra Chicken The Winged Dragon of Ra? Plain Ra? Apollo? Helios? Zeus? Any and all gods (The One Above All) are welcome.
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Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
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Offline Disciple of Sagan

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2014, 04:05:12 AM »
Mystra.

She's a 20th lvl Wizard/Cleric 20/Loremaster 10/Archmage 5 with a divine rank of 18.

(I knew my "Faiths and Pantheons" rulebook would come in handy someday!) 8)

Do the Greek titans count, because you don't get more badass than this:

Quote
Uranus imprisoned Gaia's youngest children in Tartarus, deep within Earth, where they caused pain to Gaia. She shaped a great flint-bladed sickle and asked her sons to castrate Uranus. Only Cronus, youngest and most ambitious of the Titans, was willing: he ambushed his father and castrated him, casting the severed testicles into the sea.
:o
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Offline One Above All

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2014, 04:11:27 AM »
I had forgotten that Cronus had also[1] turned on his father and castrated him. That's gotta hurt.
 1. The others being Zeus, et cetera.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken/Lucifer/All In One/Orion.

Offline Disciple of Sagan

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2014, 04:22:43 AM »
I did a quick Google search out of curiosity, and this comment struck me as hilarious:

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Oh, that would be Odin. Crucifies himself for NINE days and walks away from it. Plucks out his own eye in exchange for wisdom. Rides an eight-legged horse. You don't get much more badass. He has to be the Chuck Norris of gods.
The cosmos is also within us. We are made of star stuff.

The only thing bigger than the universe is humanity's collective sense of self-importance.

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2014, 04:52:15 AM »
Does conan the babarian count, he has a slave to cry for him when he is sad cos he is too macho to cry himself, that's pretty bad az.

what are the credentials of one above all? could be bad his PR team suck tho, hardly heard of the guy doing bad az shit. ever created a universe and then tricked its first two people and cursed every other human to come after them. not to mention impregnating a simple farm girl in her sleep - bad az ....make yourself from yourself and sacrifice yourself to yourself - bad az.  create hell where your own creations can burn forever without getting dead, bad az.

but i think my vote goes to pantera not sure exactly who or what pantera is but it sounds like a bad az god and one of my fave bands is called that and they is most def a bad az band, one got shot on stage and one died temporarily from a heroin overdose and rose from the dead - bad az.
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Offline One Above All

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2014, 05:00:37 AM »
eh!, are you trying to say "ass", "as", or are you abbreviating "Azdgari"? As I've told you before, take the fucking time to spell out words. You clearly have an excess of it. It won't kill you.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken/Lucifer/All In One/Orion.

Online Defiance

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2014, 02:38:25 PM »
Gaea, for being Mother Earth.

Happy Mommy day!
"God is just and fair"
*God kills 2.5 million of people he KNEW would turn out like this in the flood*
*Humanity turns bad again, when God knew it would*
We should feel guilty for this.

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2014, 06:10:19 AM »
OAA, you def ain't bad az or bad ass. if you were you would more than smite me, that's nothing.

I'm. so bad i can spell words anyway i want cos they too scared to be wrong.
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Offline cwschizzy

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #8 on: May 12, 2014, 07:55:03 AM »
I'm gonna go with Morgan Freeman. No other black man has ever played an Irishman so well.
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Offline epidemic

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #9 on: May 12, 2014, 11:34:49 AM »
The god of Abraham,

He can flood the entire world and hide the evidence of it.

He can fit 40,000,000 species in one boat and defy material science allowing such a vessel to be sea worthy.

Can spread light 14 billion light years in the span of 6000.

He is 3 people roled up on one and has even let himself be killed.

Smaller scale he can make walls fall down by just having people walk around.

Can create a universe with a thought and spread matter the equivalent of 14 billion light years in a span of 6000 years exceeding light speed by 2,333,333.000 times.  Then able to slow the expansion to present expansion in far less than 6,000 years.  How many G's of deceleration would it take to slow all matter from 2 million times the speed of light in less than 6,000 years.

The god of abraham might even be able to kick Chuck Norris's ass by getting him to roundhouse kick himself in the head .

Offline Disciple of Sagan

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #10 on: May 12, 2014, 12:01:20 PM »
The god of Abraham,

He can flood the entire world and hide the evidence of it.

He can fit 40,000,000 species in one boat and defy material science allowing such a vessel to be sea worthy.

Can spread light 14 billion light years in the span of 6000.

He is 3 people roled up on one and has even let himself be killed.

Smaller scale he can make walls fall down by just having people walk around.

Can create a universe with a thought and spread matter the equivalent of 14 billion light years in a span of 6000 years exceeding light speed by 2,333,333.000 times.  Then able to slow the expansion to present expansion in far less than 6,000 years.  How many G's of deceleration would it take to slow all matter from 2 million times the speed of light in less than 6,000 years.

The god of abraham might even be able to kick Chuck Norris's ass by getting him to roundhouse kick himself in the head .

BLASPHEMY!!! >:(

Quote
The god of abraham might even be able to kick Chuck Norris's Steven Segal's ass by getting him to roundhouse kick himself in the head .
Now your comment is factually accurate. 8)
The cosmos is also within us. We are made of star stuff.

The only thing bigger than the universe is humanity's collective sense of self-importance.

Offline jdawg70

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #11 on: May 12, 2014, 12:46:30 PM »
OAA, you def ain't bad az or bad ass. if you were you would more than smite me, that's nothing.

I'm. so bad i can spell words anyway i want cos they too scared to be wrong.

eh! -

I'm going to be frank with you.  Your posting style is somewhat distracting - the above is a rather thorough example, as it is...difficult...to pull out what it is you are trying to convey.  Often times, the subject matter we're talking about around here is hampered enough by semantics simply by the nature of language - your insistence in continuing to post like a 13-year on AOL instant messenger in the early 90s adds yet another layer of translation necessary for anyone interested in understanding what it is you are trying to convey.

Spelling and grammar are not the focal points of conversation around here, but clarity is something that you should be striving for.  Perfect communication via the written word is pretty much impossible; avoidance of spelling and/or grammar foibles completely is probably just as impossible; completely overhauling your conversational style may also be a tall order...

...but somewhere in there is a balance between your difficult-to-comprehend informality and legalease-level pedantry.  Put the effort in being more clear to a general audience and I think you'll find the balance soon enough.
"When we landed on the moon, that was the point where god should have come up and said 'hello'. Because if you invent some creatures, put them on the blue one and they make it to the grey one, you f**king turn up and say 'well done'."

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Offline jdawg70

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #12 on: May 12, 2014, 12:49:35 PM »
The god of abraham might even be able to kick Chuck Norris's ass by getting him to roundhouse kick himself in the head .
Bah.  Give Chuck an iron chariot and a basket full of sin and the god of Abraham will be up sh*t creek.
"When we landed on the moon, that was the point where god should have come up and said 'hello'. Because if you invent some creatures, put them on the blue one and they make it to the grey one, you f**king turn up and say 'well done'."

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Offline epidemic

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #13 on: May 12, 2014, 01:21:13 PM »
The god of abraham might even be able to kick Chuck Norris's ass by getting him to roundhouse kick himself in the head .
Bah.  Give Chuck an iron chariot and a basket full of sin and the god of Abraham will be up sh*t creek.

Basket full of sin ??? God doesn't like sin but it ain't like cryptonite to him.   Iron chariots??? Ain't never heard of god being susceptible to such toys.  I think god would just have him kick himself and then he would turn him into salt.  God of abraham for the winnnnnnn!

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #14 on: May 12, 2014, 01:49:23 PM »
Bah.  Give Chuck an iron chariot and a basket full of sin and the god of Abraham will be up sh*t creek.
Basket full of sin ??? God doesn't like sin but it ain't like cryptonite to him.
It scares him enough to warrant drastic action such as genocide and sacrificing of family members.  Maybe it's not quite like Kryptonite but it certainly freaks him the crap out.

Quote
Iron chariots??? Ain't never heard of god being susceptible to such toys.  I think god would just have him kick himself and then he would turn him into salt.  God of abraham for the winnnnnnn!
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges_1:19&version=KJV
"When we landed on the moon, that was the point where god should have come up and said 'hello'. Because if you invent some creatures, put them on the blue one and they make it to the grey one, you f**king turn up and say 'well done'."

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Offline epidemic

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #15 on: May 12, 2014, 02:03:36 PM »
It scares him enough to warrant drastic action such as genocide and sacrificing of family members.  Maybe it's not quite like Kryptonite but it certainly freaks him the crap out.

I am not scared when my kids leave the air conditioning on at 65 upstairs.  But it surely pisses me off and there is hell to pay.  God does not like sin but I don't know if you could classify it as a fear.


Now the chariots thing that is a pretty wierd one.  Then an abrams tank would be way more difficult for god to drive out.  Seems like god did not give judah the full access to his powers.

Offline Fiji

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2014, 03:54:18 PM »
I always go with Crom on these sort of questions. He sits on his mountain and does bugger all. You can pray to him all you want, he doesn't give a rat's ass. He just looks on while the strong try to survive and laughs when they succeed.
Why won't Crom heal amputees? What are you complaining about? Find the guy who took your arm and use the arm you have left to smash his skull. Crom needs a good laugh now and then.
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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #17 on: May 12, 2014, 03:55:06 PM »
Mystra.

She's a 20th lvl Wizard/Cleric 20/Loremaster 10/Archmage 5 with a divine rank of 18.

Oh fer...What kind of munchkin game do you play?
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Offline jdawg70

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #18 on: May 12, 2014, 08:07:38 PM »
It scares him enough to warrant drastic action such as genocide and sacrificing of family members.  Maybe it's not quite like Kryptonite but it certainly freaks him the crap out.

I am not scared when my kids leave the air conditioning on at 65 upstairs.  But it surely pisses me off and there is hell to pay.  God does not like sin but I don't know if you could classify it as a fear.
How much hell to pay?  How many of your kids do you murder in response to that question?  Less than 50%?

You seem less paranoid about the air conditioning than god is of sin.  Again, god goes to extremes to get away from sin.  He murdered damn near the entirety of sentient life on earth.  He's scared of it.  His reaction is presumably somewhat proportional to how scared he is of it.  And a genocidal temper tantrum is just a tad more on the "holy crap get it away from me" scale than your severe grounding of your children for pumping up your energy bill.

Quote
Now the chariots thing that is a pretty wierd one.  Then an abrams tank would be way more difficult for god to drive out.  Seems like god did not give judah the full access to his powers.
Or, you know, god says he's a hardcore bada$$ who talks the talk but cannot walk the walk.  Are we talking about which god is the most badass or which god hypes himself up the most?
"When we landed on the moon, that was the point where god should have come up and said 'hello'. Because if you invent some creatures, put them on the blue one and they make it to the grey one, you f**king turn up and say 'well done'."

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Offline G-Roll

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #19 on: May 14, 2014, 12:22:43 PM »
Marduk!

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In Enûma Elish, a civil war between the gods was growing to a climactic battle. The Anunnaki gods gathered together to find one god who could defeat the gods rising against them. Marduk, a very young god, answered the call and was promised the position of head god.

To prepare for battle, he makes a bow, fletches arrows, grabs a mace, throws lightning before him, fills his body with flame, makes a net to encircle Tiamat within it, gathers the four winds so that no part of her could escape, creates seven nasty new winds such as the whirlwind and tornado, and raises up his mightiest weapon, the rain-flood. Then he sets out for battle, mounting his storm-chariot drawn by four horses with poison in their mouths. In his lips he holds a spell and in one hand he grasps a herb to counter poison.

First, he challenges the leader of the Anunnaki gods, the dragon of the primordial sea Tiamat, to single combat and defeats her by trapping her with his net, blowing her up with his winds, and piercing her belly with an arrow.

Then, he proceeds to defeat Kingu, who Tiamat put in charge of the army and wore the Tablets of Destiny on his breast, and "wrested from him the Tablets of Destiny, wrongfully his" and assumed his new position. Under his reign humans were created to bear the burdens of life so the gods could be at leisure.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marduk

Offline One Above All

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #20 on: May 14, 2014, 12:26:31 PM »
Marduk!
<snip>

Jesus H. Christ! That's fucking badass!
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken/Lucifer/All In One/Orion.

Offline G-Roll

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #21 on: May 14, 2014, 12:31:01 PM »
Lol it's so bad ass its comical.
After he kills Tiamat he uses her corpse to create the world... Possibly the universe.. I don’t remember. But it is quite similar to Zeus creating the world with his father's corpse. (Im pretty sure it was Zeus. I am no expert though)

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #22 on: May 14, 2014, 01:16:33 PM »
Lol it's so bad ass its comical.
After he kills Tiamat he uses her corpse to create the world... Possibly the universe.. I don’t remember. But it is quite similar to Zeus creating the world with his father's corpse. (Im pretty sure it was Zeus. I am no expert though)
No...the first "deity" was Chaos, Zeus came way after. Atleast in Greek mythology.
"God is just and fair"
*God kills 2.5 million of people he KNEW would turn out like this in the flood*
*Humanity turns bad again, when God knew it would*
We should feel guilty for this.

Offline G-Roll

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #23 on: May 14, 2014, 01:52:15 PM »
Yes, but he killed his father (Chronos right?) and used his teeth to make the mountains, and his blood to make the oceans, and so on and so forth. Forgive me if I have my mythologies confused.

Offline Jag

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #24 on: May 14, 2014, 05:59:04 PM »
I did a quick Google search out of curiosity, and this comment struck me as hilarious:

Quote
Oh, that would be Odin. Crucifies himself for NINE days and walks away from it. Plucks out his own eye in exchange for wisdom. Rides an eight-legged horse. You don't get much more badass. He has to be the Chuck Norris of gods.

I was waiting on the sidelines to see who emerged as the most badass (opportunistic sycophant, I). But I'm being swayed toward Odin. King of the Gods, people.
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Offline Disciple of Sagan

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #25 on: May 14, 2014, 08:51:19 PM »
Astreja should join in on the conversation. She's knows a thing or three about the Norse pantheon.

The cosmos is also within us. We are made of star stuff.

The only thing bigger than the universe is humanity's collective sense of self-importance.

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #26 on: May 15, 2014, 05:58:51 PM »
Lol it's so bad ass its comical.
After he kills Tiamat he uses her corpse to create the world... Possibly the universe.. I don’t remember. But it is quite similar to Zeus creating the world with his father's corpse. (Im pretty sure it was Zeus. I am no expert though)
No...the first "deity" was Chaos, Zeus came way after. Atleast in Greek mythology.

You are right I was wrong I had Zeus and Odin confused. Odin created with the corpse of Yimr (I am too lazy to google the spelling).

Offline Bereft_of_Faith

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #27 on: May 19, 2014, 05:54:49 AM »
The first human, who predates antiquity, who stood up among his peers and proclaimed 'There are no gods!'.  Ironically, he was thereafter deified and ascended to the heavens, where he abides to this day, alone.  (if memory servers, his name was Larry)

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Re: Who is the most badass god in the history of gods?
« Reply #28 on: May 19, 2014, 11:18:33 AM »
The first human, who predates antiquity, who stood up among his peers and proclaimed 'There are no gods!'.  Ironically, he was thereafter deified and ascended to the heavens, where he abides to this day, alone.  (if memory servers, his name was Larry)
You're history is incomplete.  After his ascent, he was seated at the right hand of Moe.  It was sometime after Curly told some virgin chick she got preggers.
"When we landed on the moon, that was the point where god should have come up and said 'hello'. Because if you invent some creatures, put them on the blue one and they make it to the grey one, you f**king turn up and say 'well done'."

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