Author Topic: Thank you [#2808]  (Read 709 times)

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Offline naemhni

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Thank you [#2808]
« on: May 24, 2014, 10:17:34 AM »
I came across your site earlier - brilliant. A breath of fresh air. I was brought up to believe in god - I can recall thinking when I was about 6 that possibly my parents had completely invented the idea of god/Jesus/the bible just to control me. Then I realised they couldn't afford to pay television stations to broadcast information about god/the bible, so realised it must be a commonly held belief.

I am married - we married in a church; I can't say I was so against this then (7 years ago). But my wife believes; her parents are VERY religious. But I have come to the realisation that the whole idea is just a crock of shit. None of it is real. And it pisses me off thinking about the time wasted by people in the name of religion. My father in law is a seriously intelligent bloke - very bright - did Maths at Cambridge. And yet he believes. I can't get my head round it.

Why don't I crave to believe in some basic spiritual way? I just don't feel I need to. I guess therefore death is that bit more terrifying, as it really is just "lights out".

Also, how do you live in a society that still accepts the idea of god? Or, how do I keep my views under my hat in order to keep my marriage on course?

Just because I don't believe in god doesn't make me evil - I still have a moral compass - I also don't want to be judged by people I regard as too stupid to see the fact that god cannot exist.

Any tips for surviving as a private atheist?


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[On how kangaroos could have gotten back to Australia after the flood]:  Don't kangaroos skip along the surface of the water? --Kenn

Offline Willie

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Re: Thank you [#2808]
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2014, 10:57:33 AM »
Any tips for surviving as a private atheist?

My tip is "don't". If the marriage cannot survive the truth, then maybe it shouldn't survive. As the years pass, how will you feel knowing that she doesn't actually love you, but only loves the false image that you present? How will she feel when she discovers that you've been deceiving her, that she's spent years investing herself in a relationship that's a sham? When she sees that this has cost her several years of her life in which she could have moved on and maybe found a relationship that actually works, or at least not be caught up in one that doesn't? How will you feel knowing that you've done that to her? How will you feel knowing that you've done that to yourself? The opportunity cost applies to both. Even if you successfully maintain the deception until one of you dies, so that she never discovers the truth, that opportunity cost is still there, and it would still be true that she only loved your character, not you.

You don't really know how this will play out. Maybe she will accept it right away, and everything will be fine. Maybe she already suspects, and has already come to accept it. Or maybe she'll react badly at first, but eventually come to terms with it and it will all work out. Or maybe it will be a complete, heart wrenching, marriage ending, disaster. But I think that even the worst of those scenarios is better than what you risk by maintaining a deception.

Offline Disciple of Sagan

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Re: Thank you [#2808]
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2014, 11:15:37 AM »
(I am not addressing the marriage issue, as I have never been married. The following is more of general advice when dealing with theists as a whole).

I can definitely relate in regards to wondering why people still desperately cling to what I consider to be an outdated belief system based around a mythology that had been cobbled together from previous (and equally fictitious) religions.

In my late teens/early twenties, this opinion manifested itself in anger and scorn towards Christians (and theists in general) whom I felt were just scientifically illiterate individuals. It was extremely difficult at the time not to openly mock those believers I would sometimes find myself engaged in conversation with.

The one, huge problem with an attitude such as this... and it took me until my mid-to-late thirties to figure this out... is that it is counterproductive to trying to understand why Christians believe what they do, never mind actually attempting to try and explain to them how their God-tinted worldview does not match up with what we now know about reality.

My advice to you is to try and be patient and sympathetic with those believers around you. Remember, most of them were probably indoctrinated in to their religion at an early age and were surrounded by others of a similar faith growing up. Also, keep in mind that the belief in an afterlife where everyone you have ever known and loved (as long as they lived a "good" life) will eventually be reunited is a very comforting thought for them in such an oftentimes hellish world we see on the evening news every night.

Now, I am not suggesting that you do not challenge their beliefs if the subject comes up. It's all about the tone you take when trying to educate them, for example, with how there is no historical or geological evidence of a "world-wide" flood such as the one described in the Bible. Calmly show them the mountains of scientific evidence to back up your claims instead of reacting with "are you really that stupid?". Trust me, that approach never works.

Good luck!

« Last Edit: May 24, 2014, 11:17:24 AM by Disciple of Sagan »
The cosmos is also within us. We are made of star stuff.

The only thing bigger than the universe is humanity's collective sense of self-importance.

Offline Chronos

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Re: Thank you [#2808]
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2014, 01:27:24 PM »
But I have come to the realisation that the whole idea is just a crock of shit.

Yes, that sums it up.

For some reason when I read that line I instantly thought of this:

John 14:2 :: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.