Author Topic: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)  (Read 713 times)

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Offline Angus and Alexis

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Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« on: January 31, 2014, 01:52:11 AM »
In hilarity, we never get Satan's view on what Hell is like.

Sure we get God's view, but he is a sadistic crazy bastard who kills children for picking up sticks.

Now, we also know that in the bible, Satan is said to have killed twelve people (more or less), while god has a kill count of...Well...A shit load more than twelve.

So, judging from this, and the lack of Satan's view, it is very well possible that Satan is actually the nice guy who gets shat on by god.

Now, you might say "That is because Satan is a trickster, who wants to get people into hell to torture them!".

Ahh contre, my friend, I could say the same for god, perhaps his entire bible is just a big hoax to trick people into going to Heaven (which in this case is a death world of fire and pain).

Now, God goes around saying that Satan is evil, and generally tanks shit about him.

Meanwhile Satan takes it like a man, he gives no shits and remains silent, he is simply THAT badass.

Therefore Satan is not as emotionally hurt as God (who is claimed to be saddened by masterbaters), and thus, is more godlike.

Now, people out there also say that God must not be tested, yet in the bible, it happens all the time.
People also say that everyone has innate knowledge of God, so these claims of god must not be tested must be correct.

Now, if the bible god has been tested, and yet God is NOT meant to be tested, and that Satan has not been tested yet, Satan must be god (Flawless knowledge)!

So, see, you silly theists, Satan is the real god, the bible proves so!

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2014, 02:46:46 AM »
I never understood why Satan/devil/lucifer/whoever would want to send people to hell since Biblegod is the one who apparently created the place and sent Satan etc., to it (or that Satan etc., is roaming Earth 'til the day it goes there). I've heard versions over the years that Satan etc., doesn't even like humans; why would it want to surround itself with them then? I also have heard/read that Satan loves Biblegod (but just disagrees on one issue: humans), and that Satan etc., never does anything unless with permission by Biblegod. So, if all or any of that is true than how is Satan etc., evil? A trickster? A murderer? etc.,?

I don't get it.

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Offline OldChurchGuy

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2014, 06:47:53 AM »
The Satan is an interesting evolution in theology. 

As shown in the book of Job, the Satan (translated as "accuser") is something like a heavenly D.A. pointing out to God who is faithful and who is not.

There is a theory that the Satan evolved into the being we know today after the fall of the Southern Kingdom of Israel to the Babylonians in 586 BCE.  Many of the leaders and upper economic class were taken back to Babylon (modern day Iraq).  The Babylonians fell to the Persians and the Persians had a more tolerant model of government which allowed the displaced Jews to move back to Judah (the Southern Kingdom) so long as Judah paid their taxes. 

One of the ideas the Persians introduced to the displaced Jews was the Persian belief the world is in a titanic struggle between forces of good and forces of evil.  We, as mere mortals, were pretty well at the mercy of these two forces.

Jewish theologians latched on to this idea (so the theory goes) and those who opted to migrate back to Judah took the idea with them starting around 445 BCE.  There is precious little writing preserved for the next 4 centuries but by the time of Jesus, the idea of a full blown force of evil named the Satan was apparently widespread and well known as the gospels do not give any background information on the Satan. 

Tying the Satan with the talking serpent in Genesis is done in the book of Revelation. 

End of lecture.

As always,

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Offline Hatter23

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2014, 08:26:19 AM »
From a literary standpoint I've always been amused at Hell being a cracked reflection of Heaven(Heaven being essentailly a religious copy of Plato's realm of forms) so ideas, things, and souls not perfect enough to get to heaven are put in the dump...Hell. Everything second rate, unreliable, and so forth ends up there..and it is a bit crowded. So Hell might have cars..but they are Gremlins, Janus's, Edsels, AMC Pacers, and Delorians. Satan is just a "not good enough" version of God. He isn't there as a torturer, so much as the head honcho of a garbage dump; and being bored, a little pissed off, and powerful...anyone who might piss him off could get tortured. After all he reigns supreme, in the dump.






An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

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Offline G-Roll

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2014, 08:59:11 AM »
The Satan is an interesting evolution in theology. 

As shown in the book of Job, the Satan (translated as "accuser") is something like a heavenly D.A. pointing out to God who is faithful and who is not.

There is a theory that the Satan evolved into the being we know today after the fall of the Southern Kingdom of Israel to the Babylonians in 586 BCE.  Many of the leaders and upper economic class were taken back to Babylon (modern day Iraq).  The Babylonians fell to the Persians and the Persians had a more tolerant model of government which allowed the displaced Jews to move back to Judah (the Southern Kingdom) so long as Judah paid their taxes. 

One of the ideas the Persians introduced to the displaced Jews was the Persian belief the world is in a titanic struggle between forces of good and forces of evil.  We, as mere mortals, were pretty well at the mercy of these two forces.

Jewish theologians latched on to this idea (so the theory goes) and those who opted to migrate back to Judah took the idea with them starting around 445 BCE.  There is precious little writing preserved for the next 4 centuries but by the time of Jesus, the idea of a full blown force of evil named the Satan was apparently widespread and well known as the gospels do not give any background information on the Satan. 

Tying the Satan with the talking serpent in Genesis is done in the book of Revelation. 

End of lecture.

As always,

OldChurchGuy

If I might add to this enlightening post that in the old test Satan appears as more of a henchman or prosecutor for god. They work in unison to temp mankind and judge by how you make it out.
This is even evident in the New test as well with Matt 4:

Quote
Then the Spirit led Jesus up into the wilderness so that the devil might tempt him. 2 After Jesus had fasted for forty days and forty nights, he was starving.

God wanted the messiah to be tested. So Jesus was placed in a weakened state to be tempted with bread and then power all in an attempt to make/trick Jesus to defy god.

I have read that it was Zoroastrianism that evolved the Satan that we know today. The philosophy that there is one god or force that is completely good and one that is completely evil. Thus we have a character who is the anitgod and everything you could imagine to be evil.
Of course there are other cultural influences that shaped Satan like the Greek god Hades and some other I cant think of off the top of my head.   

Offline kcrady

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2014, 09:07:05 AM »
"As always," OCG provides the best response we generally get from a theist around here. :) 

One semi-whimsical way I like to interpret the story is to make a distinction between the Serpent/"Prince of Tyre" (Ezekiel 28:11-19) and the "Satan" who serves as Yahweh's Inquisitor.  "Satan" (in the Hebrew scriptures, it's always "ha-Satan," i.e. "the Accuser/Adversary") is a title, not a personal name.  Like "Pharaoh" in the Bible, it does not necessarily always have to refer to the same individual.  No one thinks that the "Pharaoh" who wanted to steal Sarah from Abraham is the same "Pharaoh" who made Joseph his Vizier or the "Pharaoh" who battled Moses, even though the Biblical writers seem to use it as if it were a name ("Pharaoh, king of Egypt"--that's like saying "White House, President of the United States," since Per-a'a in ancient Egyptian means "Great House," i.e. the royal palace).

The Serpent/Prince of Tyre differ from "Satan" in that he is treated as a genuine enemy of Yahweh.  He "curses" him in both places (the books of Genesis and Ezekiel respectively).  In the Hebrew scriptures, "Satan" is treated as an officer of Yahweh's court (look up "Satan" in a concordance and read the passages).  He is "rebuked" at one point (the Hebrew word is something like "rebuke" or "chide" IIRC, along the lines of a judicial gavel-tap and "You're out of order, Counselor!" rather than "I will unleash my boundless wrath upon you!  RAAAR!"), but never cursed or threatened.  His job is to root out treason against the King of Heaven by "tempting" people to "sin" (i.e. running sting operations) or accusing them of sin before the royal court.

In the NT, the waters get muddied a bit.  "Satan's" first appearance in the Gospel stories follows the pattern.  He shows up on cue, puts Jesus through his paces, then leaves on Jesus' command.  Hardly the behavior of a rebel or mortal enemy.  He performs his role later in the stories of Jesus' crucifixion.  Jesus tells Peter that Satan has requested permission to "sift" him, and this permission is granted (leading up to the "Peter denies Jesus" stories).  In John's Gospel, "Satan" waits at Jesus' elbow at the Last Supper, and possesses Judas on his orders to make him "betray" him to the authorities.

At first glance, the numerous "exorcism" stories in the Gospels might lend the impression that "Satan" is now acting to oppose Jesus.  But if you look closely at how the "exorcisms" play out, they demons' behaviors are awfully convenient for Jesus.  We are told unequivocally that they know exactly who Jesus is, and presumably know they can't overpower him.  Yet, they seek him out or at least make no attempt to evade him in order to keep their victims in thrall.  Most of the time they loudly and publicly proclaim that he is the Son of God before he "silences" them, then engages in some exorcism theater.  They do much more to further Jesus' fame and renown than his own disciples do!  Could we be looking at examples of a "two-man con?"

Only in the Book of Revelation is the Serpent explicitly identified with "Satan."  However, the BoR is written as a prediction of the future.  Since none of the events have happened yet, the Serpent can hardly be held culpable for them!  Furthermore, the predictions--that the "Dragon" will create a brutal theocratic dictatorship that is actually just a short-lived, weaker version of the one that Jesus establishes by the end of the book, with all of the really big massacres and atrocities taking place at his hand and Yahweh's (the various vials, bowls, trumpets, seals, etc.)--are out of character for the Serpent/Prince of Tyre.  In Genesis, the Serpent is completely non-violent.  He never threatens, much less attacks Eve--he treats her as an equal!  In Ezekiel 27, the prophet spends the chapter describing the wonders of the city.  In Chapter 28, it is vaguely implied that the "Prince of Tyre" is being condemned for "violence"--yet not one single example is given. 

Edit (had to switch computers):

The Serpent of Genesis is plainly shown as a being of honesty and integrity.  When his claim ("You shall not surely die/you shall be as gods, knowing good and evil") and Yahweh's claim ("In the day that you eat of [the Fruit of Knowledge] you shall surely die") conflict, it is the Serpent's that is true.  Not only is it shown to be so in the narrative, Yahweh himself quotes it verbatim (3:22) as his reason to expel Adam and Eve from the Garden so that they cannot reach the Tree of Life.  In Ezekiel 28, the "Prince of Tyre" is described as a being of great beauty and wisdom.  His positive attributes are described in eloquent detail; his alleged crimes not specified at all.  It is as if the prophet cannot even resort to the trick of throwing mud at the wall and hoping some of it sticks. 

And one more thing: after Yahweh promises to destroy his city through the agency of Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon...the Serpent/Prince of Tyre wins!  Ezekiel 29:17-20 has Yahweh speaking through the prophet, admitting that Nebuchadnezzar was not able to conquer Tyre or gain anything to pay wages for the "labor" of his army's attempted conquest, and promising Egypt to him as his "pay."  Yahweh fails there as well.  His predictions that the Egyptians would be scattered among the nations and permanently destroyed as a power do not come to pass.

Of course it's highly unlikely that the Biblical writers intended their stories to be interpreted in this way, with the Serpent/Prince of Tyre as a heroic opponent of Yahweh's/Jesus' tyranny.  Nonetheless, to me it does seem to parsimoniously integrate the various Biblical stories into a coherent narrative.  It certainly makes more sense than the orthodox narrative, in which "Satan" is supposed to be an evil rebel against Yahweh's perfect reign--when he's not obeying Yahweh's and Jesus' orders without question or noticeable hesitation.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2014, 10:10:16 AM by kcrady »
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Offline Ataraxia

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2014, 09:15:06 AM »
Heaven is for those conned into thinking god is the good one, whereas hell is for those, who like satan, figured out that it's god who is the arsehole. If not, and satan really is a torturous, iniquitous, nefarious, pitchfork wielding degenerate, then he's only doing it as god's proxy.
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." - Voltaire

Offline 12 Monkeys

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2014, 10:20:15 AM »
From a literary standpoint I've always been amused at Hell being a cracked reflection of Heaven(Heaven being essentailly a religious copy of Plato's realm of forms) so ideas, things, and souls not perfect enough to get to heaven are put in the dump...Hell. Everything second rate, unreliable, and so forth ends up there..and it is a bit crowded. So Hell might have cars..but they are Gremlins, Janus's, Edsels, AMC Pacers, and Delorians. Satan is just a "not good enough" version of God. He isn't there as a torturer, so much as the head honcho of a garbage dump; and being bored, a little pissed off, and powerful...anyone who might piss him off could get tortured. After all he reigns supreme, in the dump.
So sans Jesus saving those who believe,the entire world deserves hell? Even the best Christians in their own view are not "good enough",they need God through Jesus to rescue them from hell. This does not stop Christians from the sin(clearly a choice to commit evil acts against God) but saves them in spite of it.
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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2014, 10:33:07 AM »
So either Satan is in cahoots with God (and Jesus), or he's the one they dump everything on.

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #9 on: January 31, 2014, 10:35:56 AM »
...or he's the one they dump everything on.

He's the original scapegoat

Offline Anfauglir

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #10 on: January 31, 2014, 10:36:38 AM »
Booketty-marketty
Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.
Why is it so hard for believers to answer a direct question?

Offline jdawg70

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #11 on: January 31, 2014, 10:53:07 AM »
From a literary standpoint I've always been amused at Hell being a cracked reflection of Heaven(Heaven being essentailly a religious copy of Plato's realm of forms) so ideas, things, and souls not perfect enough to get to heaven are put in the dump...Hell. Everything second rate, unreliable, and so forth ends up there..and it is a bit crowded. So Hell might have cars..but they are Gremlins, Janus's, Edsels, AMC Pacers, and Delorians.
Obligatory:

In Heaven…
The mechanics are German
The chefs are French
The police are British
The lovers are Italian
And everything is organized by the Swiss.

In Hell…
The mechanics are French
The police are German
The chefs are British
The lovers are Swiss
And everything is organized by the Italians.

Quote
Satan is just a "not good enough" version of God. He isn't there as a torturer, so much as the head honcho of a garbage dump; and being bored, a little pissed off, and powerful...anyone who might piss him off could get tortured. After all he reigns supreme, in the dump.
So...essentially, Satan is the Fredo of deities.
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Offline OldChurchGuy

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #12 on: January 31, 2014, 11:12:30 AM »
...or he's the one they dump everything on.

He's the original scapegoat

Speaking of scapegoats:

20 “When Aaron has finished making atonement for the Most Holy Place, the tent of meeting and the altar, he shall bring forward the live goat. 21 He is to lay both hands on the head of the live goat and confess over it all the wickedness and rebellion of the Israelites—all their sins—and put them on the goat’s head. He shall send the goat away into the wilderness in the care of someone appointed for the task. 22 The goat will carry on itself all their sins to a remote place; and the man shall release it in the wilderness.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus+16

It is my understanding the above passage is where "scapegoat" comes from.

See also: 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scapegoat

As always,

OldChurchGuy
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Offline G-Roll

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #13 on: January 31, 2014, 11:24:35 AM »
Actually from what I have read hell is not the devils playground. It is not Satan who interacts with anyone in hell because he is bound in the "bottomless pit" (lol he is chained to the bottom of the bottomless pit) and then his fate is to be later cast in the lake of fire where he will lose all his power.

"And I saw an angel come down from heaven, having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand. And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years, And cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season" Rev. 20:1-3.

"And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever" (Rev. 20:10).

Hell is a prison for Satan. I suppose seeming there is evil in this world and the apocalypse hasn’t happened yet he is still "god of this world" and is not imprisoned yet.

The whole thing is just nuts if Satan is indeed the serpent of genesis, an officer in gods court, and the enemy of god all at the same time. Especially seeming there is no timeline for the fall of Lucifer, nothing about a rebellion or why there was a rebellion in a perfect kingdom if everything was perfect, and scripture of Satan still performing gods dirty work for him in the new test. I have yet to figure it out in the contemporary story where Satan plays the ultimate bad guy.

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #14 on: January 31, 2014, 11:25:51 AM »
God wanted the messiah to be tested.

This is a familiar theme in many religions.  The hero always has to be temped/ tested.  Jesus H was tempted by satan.  Centuries before that, Sidhartha, the Buddha, was tempted by Mara.  Ulysses was tempted by Sirens.  In many cases the hero emerges more powerful, as if tempered by fire.  But there are examples where the opposite happens.  Usually to women.

Take the bible's first heroine and one of the most misunderstood characters - Eve.  She was tempted, benefiting herself and her slow-witted mate by gaining the godlike ability to judge morality.  And she was punished for it.  Pandora too. 
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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #15 on: January 31, 2014, 02:03:07 PM »
So either Satan is in cahoots with God (and Jesus), or he's the one they dump everything on.

I can relate (to the 'being dumped on').

-Nam
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Offline Hatter23

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #16 on: January 31, 2014, 06:11:26 PM »
From a literary standpoint I've always been amused at Hell being a cracked reflection of Heaven(Heaven being essentially a religious copy of Plato's realm of forms) so ideas, things, and souls not perfect enough to get to heaven are put in the dump...Hell. Everything second rate, unreliable, and so forth ends up there..and it is a bit crowded. So Hell might have cars..but they are Gremlins, Janus's, Edsels, AMC Pacers, and Delorians. Satan is just a "not good enough" version of God. He isn't there as a torturer, so much as the head honcho of a garbage dump; and being bored, a little pissed off, and powerful...anyone who might piss him off could get tortured. After all he reigns supreme, in the dump.
So sans Jesus saving those who believe,the entire world deserves hell? Even the best Christians in their own view are not "good enough",they need God through Jesus to rescue them from hell. This does not stop Christians from the sin(clearly a choice to commit evil acts against God) but saves them in spite of it.

So I guess in this case Jesus is just heaven lowering its standards if you kiss enough ass. So In Heaven as it is in large bureaucracies
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

And you should feel guilty for this. Give me money.

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #17 on: February 01, 2014, 07:25:59 PM »
Quote
God wanted the messiah to be tested. So Jesus was placed in a weakened state to be tempted with bread and then power all in an attempt to make/trick Jesus to defy god.

but if Jesus IS god, doesn't that make the whole thing very frivolous?

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #18 on: February 04, 2014, 11:28:31 AM »
On a lighter note, those who live in the Uk will, perhaps, have heard a sitcom on radio based in hell and called 'Old Harry's Game' in which the chief character is the devil who not only has most of humanity in hell, (the popes are punished by being 9 months pregnant and have their own pit), but he also goes into the world do men and tempts and cheats them. At least that is how it started until hell was getting too full. It was a great series of programmes with plenty of room for topical things to be covered.

On the more serious note I have always thought the concept of hell as taught by Christianity was a rather dodgy doctrine. After all, there is nothing like it in the OT and, really, there's only a few bits in the NT. Satan may be quite a nice chap with a rubbish job of course but I suspect he is only a fiction created by the church to scare the faithful
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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #19 on: February 05, 2014, 07:54:10 AM »
Why would God create Satan, knowing he would rebel. Why would God create Satan just to know he would punish him for all Eternity?

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #20 on: February 05, 2014, 07:59:30 AM »
Why would God create Satan, knowing he would rebel. Why would God create Satan just to know he would punish him for all Eternity?

That certainly puts omniscience in doubt! Either that or god looks quite foolish. I mean, create angels whose function is to serve the only all-powerful god would seem to suggest that angels don't need free will yet that is apparently what they had or else Satan could not have rebelled. It leaves god as either not all-knowing since he din't know about Satan, or he wasn't powerful enough to create and angels with the right powers but without free will in which case he isn't all-powerful.

Bit of a dilemma for Christians I think.
No testimony is sufficient to establish a miracle, unless the testimony be of such that its falshood would be more miraculous than the facts it endeavours to establish. (David Hume)

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #21 on: February 05, 2014, 08:04:07 AM »
Why would God create Satan, knowing he would rebel. Why would God create Satan just to know he would punish him for all Eternity?

Obviously the bible is a lie, and in fact Satan made God, because he felt like it.

/satire
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Offline dloubet

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #22 on: February 11, 2014, 05:52:26 AM »
The Satan character has to be working for the god character, otherwise it could easily mess up the god's plans. For example, all it would have to do is sit on its thumbs and not create the antichrist. Boom! God's plan as described in the bible fails. No antichrist, no armageddon, no second coming.
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Offline Angus and Alexis

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #23 on: February 11, 2014, 05:56:54 AM »
The Satan character has to be working for the god character, otherwise it could easily mess up the god's plans. For example, all it would have to do is sit on its thumbs and not create the antichrist. Boom! God's plan as described in the bible fails. No antichrist, no armageddon, no second coming.

Silly person, obviously god lied in the bible.
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Offline Hatter23

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #24 on: February 11, 2014, 08:08:06 AM »

In Hell…
The lovers are Swiss

Really? I never heard bad things about the Swiss in bed.


Everything else...well yeah.
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

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Offline jdawg70

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #25 on: February 11, 2014, 08:59:10 AM »

In Hell…
The lovers are Swiss

Really? I never heard bad things about the Swiss in bed.


Everything else...well yeah.

Hey they make great knives.
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Offline Hatter23

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #26 on: February 11, 2014, 12:48:23 PM »

In Hell…
The lovers are Swiss

Really? I never heard bad things about the Swiss in bed.


Everything else...well yeah.

Hey they make great knives.

no I meant every other good/bad stereotypes on your list
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

And you should feel guilty for this. Give me money.

Offline SevenPatch

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #27 on: February 11, 2014, 04:19:20 PM »

Obviously the bible is a lie, and in fact Satan made God, because he felt like it.

/satire

So, in this satire, Satan accidently or intentionally created a being that was more powerful and far more evil than Satan.  Or perhaps Satan isn't evil, and just created something more powerful than Satan which became evil and we know this being as YHWH.

This makes some sense, if you're going to create something, wouldn't you attempt to create something that might be able to help you in some way which might require giving that something more power than you.  This also probably has more explainitory power than the traditional view of the Christian god.

Sounds like an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

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Offline One Above All

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Re: Hell VS Heaven? (Aimed at theists, Satirical to Atheists)
« Reply #28 on: February 11, 2014, 04:25:02 PM »
Obviously the bible is a lie, and in fact Satan made God, because he felt like it.

/satire

The Bible makes more sense if you assume YHWH to be Satan, and vice-versa. Just saying.
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