Author Topic: I saw Jesus [#2789]  (Read 1099 times)

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Offline pianodwarf

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I saw Jesus [#2789]
« on: January 15, 2014, 07:01:54 AM »
2002 , I got a new job at ITRI biomedical research institute,
at Taiwan, Early Oct, My mother pass away at San Diego, end
of Oct, I participated a running exercise, when I run,
I saw my mother, she told me " It not the time for you to
come here, go back" I also saw my brother in law, two uncles,
and grand mother, few days later, I was moved to major
hospital at Taipei, one night, I wake up , and knell
down against the window, my wife ask me what you
doing , I told her " I saw Jesus
[On how kangaroos could have gotten back to Australia after the flood]:  Don't kangaroos skip along the surface of the water? --Kenn

Offline HAL

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2014, 08:48:03 AM »
I saw a Pink Unicorn once right after I hit my thumb with a hammer.

Does that means they both exist?

Offline Hatter23

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2014, 09:14:01 AM »
I saw Jesus too. He need some legal matter cleaned up regarding his immigration status.
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

And you should feel guilty for this. Give me money.

Offline jdawg70

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2014, 09:52:23 AM »
I saw Jesus at a bowling ally once.

Nobody f**ked with him.
"When we landed on the moon, that was the point where god should have come up and said 'hello'. Because if you invent some creatures, put them on the blue one and they make it to the grey one, you f**king turn up and say 'well done'."
- Eddie Izzard

Offline One Above All

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2014, 10:02:35 AM »
I once saw a demon with yellow eyes called Azazel. Go Supernatural!
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

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Online Aaron123

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2014, 11:34:11 AM »
2002 , I got a new job at ITRI biomedical research institute,
at Taiwan, Early Oct, My mother pass away at San Diego, end
of Oct, I participated a running exercise, when I run,
I saw my mother, she told me " It not the time for you to
come here, go back" I also saw my brother in law, two uncles,
and grand mother, few days later, I was moved to major
hospital at Taipei, one night, I wake up , and knell
down against the window, my wife ask me what you
doing , I told her " I saw Jesus

But what did Jesus do?

Nothing, apparently.  So why get on your knees for him?
Being a Christian, I've made my decision. That decision offers no compromise; therefore, I'm closed to anything else.

Offline Boots

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2014, 11:48:06 AM »
I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause

"I saw Goody Cloyse with the devil!  I saw Goody Good with the devil!!!"  (expigated lines: "I saw Goody Two-Shoes with the devil!  I saw Goody Gumdrops with the devil!!")
* Religion: institutionalized superstition, period.

"Many of my ultra-conservative Republican friends...have trouble accepting the idea God is not a Republican. " ~OldChurchGuy

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Online Nam

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2014, 02:32:34 PM »
2002 , I got a new job at ITRI biomedical research institute,
at Taiwan, Early Oct, My mother pass away at San Diego, end
of Oct, I participated a running exercise, when I run,
I saw my mother, she told me " It not the time for you to
come here, go back" I also saw my brother in law, two uncles,
and grand mother, few days later, I was moved to major
hospital at Taipei, one night, I wake up , and knell
down against the window, my wife ask me what you
doing , I told her " I saw Jesus

Seek psychiatric help. You are having hallucinations.

-Nam
A god is like a rock: it does absolutely nothing until someone or something forces it to do something. The only capability the rock has is doing nothing until another force compels it physically to move.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously - Humphrey

Offline Astreja

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2014, 03:24:20 PM »
^^^ What Nam says.  Something is seriously wrong neurologically or psychologically, and time is of the essence.
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Offline Chronos

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2014, 09:10:57 PM »
I saw Jesus, too ... in a piece of toast ... for sale in eBay.

John 14:2 :: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

Offline HAL

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #10 on: January 15, 2014, 09:13:49 PM »
I still do not know how anyone can say they saw Jebus because there was never any paintings made of him during his life. How do you know you see Jebus if you have never seen a reliable reproduction of Him.

Offline MadBunny

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2014, 09:56:05 PM »
Just curious here..

Did he look like a stone illiterate Arab?  Dark skin, unwashed hair, and lots of splinters in his hands?
Or did he look exactly like you expect Jesus to look?

If he was in a conservative state, was he carrying a gun and a flag?  Because if so then that wasn't Jesus, that was Jeezus.

*hotlink.
Give a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a night.  Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Offline Chronos

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2014, 09:56:18 PM »
I was made in God's image, and Jesus is God's son, so God/Jesus looks like me. I just have to see somebody who looks like me, and I have seen Jesus.
John 14:2 :: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

Online Nam

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2014, 01:19:50 AM »
I still do not know how anyone can say they saw Jebus because there was never any paintings made of him during his life. How do you know you see Jebus if you have never seen a reliable reproduction of Him.

Because when Jesus speaks from burnt toast... you just know deep in your heart that it's him.

Duh.

-Nam
A god is like a rock: it does absolutely nothing until someone or something forces it to do something. The only capability the rock has is doing nothing until another force compels it physically to move.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously - Humphrey

Online Nam

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2014, 01:21:51 AM »
I was made in God's image, and Jesus is God's son, so God/Jesus looks like me. I just have to see somebody who looks like me, and I have seen Jesus.

Look in a mirror[1].

-Nam
 1. I'm so helpful
A god is like a rock: it does absolutely nothing until someone or something forces it to do something. The only capability the rock has is doing nothing until another force compels it physically to move.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously - Humphrey

Offline Chronos

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #15 on: January 16, 2014, 03:26:20 PM »
Look in a mirror[1].
 1. I'm so helpful

oooh, thank  you! I didn't realize Jesus is found in mirrors. No matter where I go, as long as a mirror is near, so is Jesus!

John 14:2 :: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

Online Nam

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #16 on: January 16, 2014, 03:27:25 PM »
Look in a mirror[1].
 1. I'm so helpful

oooh, thank  you! I didn't realize Jesus is found in mirrors. No matter where I go, as long as a mirror is near, so is Jesus!



Watch out for vampires.

-Nam
A god is like a rock: it does absolutely nothing until someone or something forces it to do something. The only capability the rock has is doing nothing until another force compels it physically to move.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously - Humphrey

Offline Hatter23

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2014, 03:48:42 PM »
Look in a mirror[1].
 1. I'm so helpful

oooh, thank  you! I didn't realize Jesus is found in mirrors. No matter where I go, as long as a mirror is near, so is Jesus!



Watch out for vampires.

-Nam

You mean those that gather in darkened rooms and perfom some sort of ancient blood ritual using archaic language? Come on, those don't exist.

An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

And you should feel guilty for this. Give me money.

Online Nam

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2014, 03:50:50 PM »
No, no, no...the dudes who look pale but only reflect their need for attention.

-Nam
A god is like a rock: it does absolutely nothing until someone or something forces it to do something. The only capability the rock has is doing nothing until another force compels it physically to move.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously - Humphrey

Offline cwschizzy

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #19 on: January 30, 2014, 12:57:18 AM »
I saw myself in a mirror once. Worst choice ever made. I hope that Jesus was Asian. He's so much more fun.
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Offline Fiji

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #20 on: January 30, 2014, 05:50:41 AM »
I saw myself in a mirror once. Worst choice ever made. I hope that Jesus was Asian. He's so much more fun.

*grabs Atlas*
*looks up Palestine*
*nods* yeah, that's in Asia alright.
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

Schrodinger's thunderdome! One cat enters and one MIGHT leave!

Without life, god has no meaning.

Offline Fiji

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #21 on: January 30, 2014, 05:58:46 AM »
I was made in God's image, and Jesus is God's son, so God/Jesus looks like me. I just have to see somebody who looks like me, and I have seen Jesus.

Look in a mirror[1].

-Nam
 1. I'm so helpful

Now say Bloody Mary[2] three times!
 2. That's what Joseph called Jesus' mom after he knocked her up and she refused to acknowledge him
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

Schrodinger's thunderdome! One cat enters and one MIGHT leave!

Without life, god has no meaning.

Offline Hatter23

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #22 on: January 30, 2014, 08:04:24 AM »

Now say Bloody Mary three times!

Preferably with a shot of tobasco...skip the wostershire.
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

And you should feel guilty for this. Give me money.

Offline kcrady

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #23 on: January 30, 2014, 08:19:50 AM »
doing , I told her " I saw Jesus

How do you know it was Jesus?  There were no likenesses of him made during his (alleged) lifetime, by anyone who ever saw him or consulted with anyone who did.  Could you pick him out of a lineup that included Apollonius of Tyana, Pythagoras, Marcus Aurelius, Hillel, and Gamaliel?  How?
"The question of whether atheists are, you know, right, typically gets sidestepped in favor of what is apparently the much more compelling question of whether atheists are jerks."

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Offline Tonus

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #24 on: February 13, 2014, 01:06:59 PM »
How do you know it was Jesus?  There were no likenesses of him made during his (alleged) lifetime, by anyone who ever saw him or consulted with anyone who did.  Could you pick him out of a lineup that included Apollonius of Tyana, Pythagoras, Marcus Aurelius, Hillel, and Gamaliel?  How?
Check for holes!

Offline G-Roll

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #25 on: February 13, 2014, 01:29:07 PM »
I have seen a lot of things that you wouldn’t believe... but I was high. What's your excuse?

Offline MadBunny

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #26 on: February 16, 2014, 02:17:22 PM »
I have seen a lot of things that you wouldn’t believe... but I was high. What's your excuse?

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.  ~Roy
Give a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a night.  Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Online Nam

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Re: I saw Jesus [#2789]
« Reply #27 on: February 16, 2014, 05:21:42 PM »
Dude, I've seen Endor! Yeah, that's right. You can't beat seeing Endor[1].

-Nam
 1. of course it was on my TV, in my living room but I still saw it
A god is like a rock: it does absolutely nothing until someone or something forces it to do something. The only capability the rock has is doing nothing until another force compels it physically to move.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously - Humphrey