Author Topic: Jesus is.....speeding.  (Read 339 times)

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Offline nogodsforme

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Jesus is.....speeding.
« on: December 04, 2013, 11:20:45 AM »
Saw a car on the freeway with one of those Jesus is________? bumper stickers on it. The car was speeding in the fast lane. I thought it was pretty funny to do wrong things with a Jesus sticker on the car. How about:

Jesus is ......loaded.

Jesus is ......driving erratically.

Jesus is.......getting pulled over.

Jesus is ......blowing over the limit.

Jesus is .......getting a ticket.

Jesus is .......losing his license.

Jesus is ........going to the hoosegow. :o
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline Mrjason

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Re: Jesus is.....speeding.
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2013, 11:27:10 AM »
Jesus is ........going to be visiting dad real soon

Offline Ataraxia

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Re: Jesus is.....speeding.
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2013, 11:32:52 AM »
Jesus is.....speeding 'cos he needs a poo.
If you keep on living your life as though your purpose is to be saved and go to heaven, you are missing the heaven that you are living in right now.

Offline Jonny-UK

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Re: Jesus is.....speeding.
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2013, 11:37:57 AM »
Jesus is..........NOT Omnipresent
"Do I look like someone who cares what god thinks" - pinhead

Offline jdawg70

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Re: Jesus is.....speeding.
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2013, 11:52:19 AM »
Jesus is....judging your honor roll student.  Harshly.
"When we landed on the moon, that was the point where god should have come up and said 'hello'. Because if you invent some creatures, put them on the blue one and they make it to the grey one, you f**king turn up and say 'well done'."

- Eddie Izzard

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Offline Hatter23

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Re: Jesus is.....speeding.
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2013, 01:49:41 PM »
Saw a car on the freeway with one of those Jesus is________? bumper stickers on it. The car was speeding in the fast lane. I thought it was pretty funny to do wrong things with a Jesus sticker on the car. How about:

Jesus is ......loaded.

Jesus is ......driving erratically.

Jesus is.......getting pulled over.

Jesus is ......blowing over the limit.

Jesus is .......getting a ticket.

Jesus is .......losing his license.

Jesus is ........going to the hoosegow. :o

happens in southern Arizona on a daily basis.
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

And you should feel guilty for this. Give me money.

Offline nogodsforme

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Re: Jesus is.....speeding.
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2013, 06:42:16 PM »
Jesus is....not my co-pilot!
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline magicmiles

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Re: Jesus is.....speeding.
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2013, 06:48:55 PM »
Jesus has pre-destined me to live out an Eagles song.
Go on up you baldhead.

Offline jetson

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Re: Jesus is.....speeding.
« Reply #8 on: December 04, 2013, 06:53:08 PM »
Jesus is ... n't

 ;D

Offline lotanddaughters

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Re: Jesus is.....speeding.
« Reply #9 on: December 04, 2013, 07:10:25 PM »
Jesus Isa false Messiah.[1]
 1. Represented by the 3 most popular Abrahamic religions.
Enough with your bullshit.
. . . Mr. Friday . . . that post really is golden.