Author Topic: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees  (Read 1244 times)

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Offline Basset Hound

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God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« on: December 12, 2015, 03:59:15 AM »
He's busy helping one sports team or another to win.  That takes up all his time.  After all, there are only 24 hours in a day.

Offline Nick

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2015, 09:03:00 AM »
Well, my university is playing today for a chance to play in the national championship game next week (NCAA Div 2 football).  So, God had better get His holy butt in gear and make my team win.  He can deal with amputees.....well, never, He hates them.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline natlegend

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2015, 07:22:26 PM »
Australian sports teams don't rely on gods so much. In fact I've never heard of any team praying to any god ever. Australian sports teams play on their merits, and do not require divine intervention.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

"Ray, when someone asks you, if you're a god, you say YES!!"

Offline Nick

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2015, 07:29:15 PM »
Well, God made sure my team won this last weekend.  They came out, ran to the end zone and each one knelt down and said a prayer.  And with the game on the line late 4th quarter God let them score 14 points in less than a minutes time.  Thank you, God.  Now one more this Sat for the national championship.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline natlegend

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2015, 07:31:17 PM »
I'm smh here, how do you put up with the praying bullshit? That's just... awful.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

"Ray, when someone asks you, if you're a god, you say YES!!"

Offline eh!

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2015, 06:22:09 AM »
If no team prayed would they both lose?
some skepisms,
1. "I have not seen God. I have felt the invisible presence"
2. What if there is a rock in the middle of a road, a blind person is speeding towards it, ...they say that they can't see it.   Would you recommend him to keep speeding?

Offline natlegend

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2015, 03:17:30 PM »
If no team prayed would they both lose?

Bwahahaha I'd watch that!
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

"Ray, when someone asks you, if you're a god, you say YES!!"

Offline magicmiles

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2015, 03:26:12 PM »
Australian sports teams don't rely on gods so much. In fact I've never heard of any team praying to any god ever. Australian sports teams play on their merits, and do not require divine intervention.

Correct. Although I'm pretty sure when Australians see Jarryd Hayne mentioned in the news, most of them cry out "Oh God, not again.."
It's good to know the door can still be open wide.

Offline YouCantHandleTheTruth

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2015, 01:51:18 PM »
He's busy helping one sports team or another to win.  That takes up all his time.  After all, there are only 24 hours in a day.

I think it's possible that he has a Vice God, like we have a Vice President.  The Vice God takes care of all the little things that God can't take care of, like Johnny's spelling bee, sporting events, etc.  Those are easy to tackle - so we give it to the supernatural Joe Biden.

Then, I think there's a chance that there is actually a God Congress, made up of some 535 Congressional and Senatorial Gods.  God cannot take action unless he gets a majority vote from these Gods to turn the bill into law.  This explains why, just like our Congress on earth, God's Congress never gets anything done - they are constantly in gridlock.  An example might be "I'll let you heal some amputees and prevent psunamis if you give Mississippi citizens the right to buy assault weapons without a background check."  The bill doesn't pass, and thus, we continue to have psunamis and amputees.  It's not easy to compromise.  We see that here, and maybe we see it in the supernatural Congress. 

In fact, in serious cases like The Holocaust or the 2004 Indian Ocean Psunami, I think it's possible that the God Congress had caused a Supernatural Government Shutdown.

All of this is as likely to be the truth as the Bible - now isn't that kind of scary?

Offline Lilly Pool

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #9 on: March 01, 2017, 04:14:57 PM »
Why would God want to heal the amputees he makes?

Offline eh!

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2017, 04:35:23 AM »
Why would he want to make them in the first place, boredom? and would he make them as a result of horrific pain to random people?

Kind of a sadistic SOB.
some skepisms,
1. "I have not seen God. I have felt the invisible presence"
2. What if there is a rock in the middle of a road, a blind person is speeding towards it, ...they say that they can't see it.   Would you recommend him to keep speeding?

Offline Emma286

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2017, 05:18:43 AM »
Yup, true enough that bible god doesn't match the rosy picture that some try to paint of him. Bible god is an asshole.

Offline stuffin

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #12 on: March 03, 2017, 09:11:55 AM »
Why would God want to heal the amputees he makes?

Why does He cure cancer in people he gave cancer to?

Why does he save people after he makes their plane fall from the sky and crash into the earth?

It is soooo mysterious...................................
The Greatest Story Ever Told Was So Wrong

Been Two thousand Years and He Ain't Shown Yet,

We Kept His Seat Warm and The Table Set.

The Greatest Story Ever Told Was So Wrong, So Wrong.

Online jetson

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #13 on: March 03, 2017, 03:35:13 PM »
Why would God want to heal the amputees he makes?

Why would he heal anyone, for any reason then?

Offline Lilly Pool

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #14 on: March 03, 2017, 03:37:27 PM »
Why would God want to heal the amputees he makes?

Why would he heal anyone, for any reason then?

Not for any reason, but there are the right ones.

Online jetson

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #15 on: March 03, 2017, 05:15:00 PM »
Why would God want to heal the amputees he makes?

Why would he heal anyone, for any reason then?

Not for any reason, but there are the right ones.

Which excludes amputees, apparently. Gotcha. And you know this, how, exactly?

Offline Lilly Pool

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #16 on: March 03, 2017, 08:00:40 PM »
Why would God want to heal the amputees he makes?

Why would he heal anyone, for any reason then?

Not for any reason, but there are the right ones.

Which excludes amputees, apparently. Gotcha. And you know this, how, exactly?

Why would it exclude amputees? Do you think God has issues with amputees? He created them  ;D

Offline eh!

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #17 on: March 03, 2017, 08:26:56 PM »
He has no issues with Satan according to that logic, or sin.
some skepisms,
1. "I have not seen God. I have felt the invisible presence"
2. What if there is a rock in the middle of a road, a blind person is speeding towards it, ...they say that they can't see it.   Would you recommend him to keep speeding?

Offline Lilly Pool

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rebellion
« Reply #18 on: March 03, 2017, 08:38:06 PM »
He has no issues with Satan according to that logic, or sin.

You must have meant, "nor" sin.

I'm not sure amputees are necessarliy rebellious. I can be wrong though.




Online jaimehlers

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #19 on: March 03, 2017, 08:51:24 PM »
Please do not change the subject of the thread, Lilly Pool, as it tends to throw people off as far as what topic you're responding to.
Nullus In Verba, aka "Take nobody's word for it!"  If you can't show it, then you don't know it.

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Re: God is Too Busy To Heal Amputees
« Reply #20 on: March 03, 2017, 09:25:37 PM »
The lily dick is just a time waster, he hasn't once attempted an argument.
some skepisms,
1. "I have not seen God. I have felt the invisible presence"
2. What if there is a rock in the middle of a road, a blind person is speeding towards it, ...they say that they can't see it.   Would you recommend him to keep speeding?