Author Topic: We're already in heaven!  (Read 540 times)

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Offline Lectus

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We're already in heaven!
« on: November 07, 2013, 09:21:01 PM »
Quote
To the woman he said,

“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;
    with painful labor you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
    and he will rule over you.”

(Genesis 3:16)

With the advances of medicine we have caesarean section and anesthesia so women no longer feel the pain of giving birth.

With women conquering more rights, having a salary and jobs positions similar to men they're no longer ruled by men. Hell, they even have an easier life than men nowadays.

Conclusion: We're already in heaven! The curse of the sin is broken!

Hallelujah!
Religion: The belief that an all powerful God or gods created the entire universe so that we tiny humans can be happy. And we also make war about it.

Offline neopagan

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2013, 09:39:43 PM »
aside from planting some damned thorny rose bushes, I never till the soil and only sweat at the pool...

but... as far as this wimpy, fit-pitching god character, yeah about what I'd expect as heaven :)
If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline magicmiles

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2013, 10:17:16 PM »


With the advances of medicine we have caesarean section and anesthesia so women no longer feel the pain of giving birth.

Ha Ha

I'd love to hear you tell my wife she felt no pain. I'd love to hear you tell that to any woman. You'd look good with a black eye, I'm sure.
The 2010 world cup was ruined for me by that slippery bastard Paul.

Offline lotanddaughters

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2013, 10:51:21 PM »


With the advances of medicine we have caesarean section and anesthesia so women no longer feel the pain of giving birth.

Ha Ha

I'd love to hear you tell my wife she felt no pain. I'd love to hear you tell that to any woman. You'd look good with a black eye, I'm sure.
Yes, but look how insightful Lectus' post was.

Thousands of years ago, there was the reality that "women experience extreme pain because of childbirth" long before some person made up what would become the "Reason For Pain In Childbirth" fable that would end up in the Book of Genesis. Back when primitive men wrote down bullshit, far-fetched tales that gullible idiots would believe, women experiencing extreme pain due to childbirth was the norm.

Lectus' is fortunate enough to live during a time when the collective pain of birthing women is much less. Lectus can also rightfully conclude that a thousand years into the future, the collective pain of birthing women will be even less than it is today.

So, in conclusion, you have a God, who makes no mention of the alleviation of birthing pains over the course of human history(and . . . spoiler alert . . . Jesus never fucking existed and therefore is never fucking coming back). Either there is a God who wants modern-day intelligent people to view him as a deceitful dipshit motherfucker, or . . . overwhelmingly more likely, the Book of Genesis was written by primitive, scientifically ignorant men, and only taken seriously by the most gullible fucking idiots of our modern day.

Contgratulations, you Piece. Of. Shit.

Offline magicmiles

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2013, 11:01:12 PM »
Well, your opinion is always treasured L and D. Stay classy.
The 2010 world cup was ruined for me by that slippery bastard Paul.

Offline lotanddaughters

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #5 on: November 07, 2013, 11:11:28 PM »
Well, your opinion is always treasured L and D. Stay classy.
Dear Magicmiles,

Are you still a Christian? I admit that I haven't been keeping up with this forum as much as I had been before. If you are no longer a Christian, I will recant my previous post(but I will still leave it up for the remaining gullible fools who might come across this website).
Enough with your bullshit.
. . . Mr. Friday . . . that post really is golden.

Offline magicmiles

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #6 on: November 07, 2013, 11:15:21 PM »
The 2010 world cup was ruined for me by that slippery bastard Paul.

Offline lotanddaughters

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #7 on: November 07, 2013, 11:30:06 PM »
,

Are you still a Christian?

Yes.

Unbelievable.

Here . . .
Here's your fucking Jesus . . . in all His glory:


Enough with your bullshit.
. . . Mr. Friday . . . that post really is golden.

Online skeptic54768

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #8 on: November 08, 2013, 12:16:19 AM »
Quote
To the woman he said,

“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;
    with painful labor you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
    and he will rule over you.”

(Genesis 3:16)

With the advances of medicine we have caesarean section and anesthesia so women no longer feel the pain of giving birth.

With women conquering more rights, having a salary and jobs positions similar to men they're no longer ruled by men. Hell, they even have an easier life than men nowadays.

Conclusion: We're already in heaven! The curse of the sin is broken!

Hallelujah!

Arguments such as these reinforce my faith in Christianity.

Thank you.  :)
Matthew 10:22 "and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved." - Jesus (said 2,000 years ago and still true today.)

Online Add Homonym

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #9 on: November 08, 2013, 01:26:54 AM »

Arguments such as these reinforce my faith in Christianity.

Thank you.  :)

It shouldn't need any reinforcing. You should be drinking poison and handling serpents, curing the sick and casting out devils.
Humans, in general, don't waste any opportunity to be unfathomably stupid - Dr Cynical.

Online skeptic54768

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #10 on: November 08, 2013, 02:05:39 AM »
It shouldn't need any reinforcing. You should be drinking poison and handling serpents, curing the sick and casting out devils.

No.

You should know that those powers were used by Jesus THROUGH the disciples. Once the disciples died, so did that power.

But I am sure with your huge "Biblical knowledge" you should already know this. So I would have to assume you were trying to deliberately mislead a lurker.
Matthew 10:22 "and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved." - Jesus (said 2,000 years ago and still true today.)

Offline Antidote

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #11 on: November 08, 2013, 03:13:27 AM »
It shouldn't need any reinforcing. You should be drinking poison and handling serpents, curing the sick and casting out devils.

No.

You should know that those powers were used by Jesus THROUGH the disciples. Once the disciples died, so did that power.

But I am sure with your huge "Biblical knowledge" you should already know this. So I would have to assume you were trying to deliberately mislead a lurker.
Can you cite the exact passage this is from?
I doubt you can.
According to Cpt. Obvious: Theists think they know God, Atheists require evidence.

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Do not assume I was religious in any way, I have never been religious.

Online Add Homonym

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #12 on: November 08, 2013, 03:40:01 AM »
But I am sure with your huge "Biblical knowledge" you should already know this. So I would have to assume you were trying to deliberately mislead a lurker.

My Biblical knowledge say that Christians ignore all the hard stuff.

(Some cults do attempt to handle serpents, talk in tongues, heal the sick, cast out devils. This means that only the "drinking poison" thing has been revoked, by special decree, somewhere.)

Sounds like an admission that your faith is weak, if something an atheist mutters makes it stronger.
Humans, in general, don't waste any opportunity to be unfathomably stupid - Dr Cynical.

Offline nogodsforme

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #13 on: November 08, 2013, 03:38:47 PM »

Arguments such as these reinforce my faith in Christianity.

Thank you.  :)

It shouldn't need any reinforcing. You should be drinking poison and handling serpents, curing the sick and casting out devils.

Anything anybody says about anything reinforces skeptic's faith in Christianity. Faith is not based on logic, evidence or facts.

This message brought to you by KnotademonTM brand anti-evil spirit rope. Simply place the hand-made pre-knotted hemp loop around your demon and tighten. Guaranteed to trap evil spirits from any supernatural realm--even those invisible to the naked eye!--and hold them until your local exorcist arrives.  Demons caught or your money back. No training, permit, license (or evidence) required. Made in Communist China.[1]
 1. If you are laughing, you have not plumbed the depths of televangelist advertising. They actually sell this kind of sh!t. Religious people are so gullible, they will believe anything--skeptic is looking for the link to my Knotademon website right now.  I was raised by a JW con artist. I swear, if I was not an ethical atheist, committed to truth, facts and scientific evidence, I'd be a millionaire. 
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline jdawg70

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #14 on: November 08, 2013, 03:59:41 PM »
No.

You should know that those powers were used by Jesus THROUGH the disciples. Once the disciples died, so did that power.

But I am sure with your huge "Biblical knowledge" you should already know this. So I would have to assume you were trying to deliberately mislead a lurker.
http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/forums/index.php/topic,25762.0.html

I would very much like to see how you and WordAboveYourName would try to convince one another of your respective, contrary positions.
"When we landed on the moon, that was the point where god should have come up and said 'hello'. Because if you invent some creatures, put them on the blue one and they make it to the grey one, you f**king turn up and say 'well done'."
- Eddie Izzard

Offline nogodsforme

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Re: We're already in heaven!
« Reply #15 on: November 08, 2013, 06:03:42 PM »
^^^And each should give evidence as to why they have the correct point of view. I'll make the popcorn. :)
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.