Author Topic: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?  (Read 799 times)

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Online Ron Jeremy

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Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« on: November 04, 2013, 09:03:44 AM »
As I walked home today, I was running over a conversation with this Young Earther about 'The Flood' and Noah building an ark. It's utter nonsense that a being that is capable of speaking the universe into existence needs a wooden boat to save all the animals on his little pet planet. Why not 'speak' the naughty humans out of existence?

The more I thought, the more I thought about the properties of this supposed being. If you believe Genesis, we humans are made in his image. It's clearly not his brain image, because we can't speak things into existence and besides; we are evil and sinful. So Genesis must mean 'body' image?

Which begs the question; why does a god need testicles? Or opposing digits on his hand? Or an anus? Or stomach? Or legs? Or indeed, any part of our bodies at all? Especially when you consider that he floats around 'outside of time and outside of space'. Why does he need his legs? To combat gravity where he lives? Why does he need arms? To pick things up? Why does he need eyes that can perceive light when he simply 'knows' everything? Why does he need toe nails and fingernails to protect the ends of his digits? In case he drops a planet on them? So he feels physical pain then? Why does he need a nervous system? Or a heart? Or kidneys?

Can theists really not see that this god is complete and utter nonsense?
Matthew 10:22 "and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved." - An example of a clearly demonstrably false biblical 'prophesy'.

The biblical myth of a 6000 year old Earth is proven false by the Gaia satellite directly measuring star age.

Online One Above All

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #1 on: November 04, 2013, 09:05:10 AM »
Because he's a guy and he was made in Man's image.
« Last Edit: November 04, 2013, 10:30:51 AM by One Above All »
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

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Offline Nick

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2013, 10:16:33 AM »
You need a big set of balls to pull off the mess He has created.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline neopagan

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #3 on: November 04, 2013, 10:25:37 AM »
Aha - this is an easy one...

Luke 1:35 And the messenger answering said to her, `The Holy Spirit shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee, therefore also the holy-begotten thing shall be called Son of God

If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #4 on: November 04, 2013, 11:29:46 AM »


He's got the biggest balls of them all!
« Last Edit: November 04, 2013, 11:32:22 AM by LoriPinkAngel »
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline Mrjason

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #5 on: November 04, 2013, 11:37:31 AM »
and why does he need a belly button, for that matter why did adam have one?

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #6 on: November 04, 2013, 11:38:34 AM »
Where did Cain & Abel's wives come from?
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline Mrjason

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #7 on: November 04, 2013, 11:42:42 AM »
Where did Cain & Abel's wives come from?

What wives? They weren't created. I don't get how the fundies can say that god hates homosexuality and incest?

Offline jaimehlers

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #8 on: November 04, 2013, 11:49:30 AM »
Because humans are too good at seeing patterns where they don't exist, therefore the instigator of those patterns must be a really big and powerful human (or a group of really big and powerful humans).  It's the same reason we have stories of giants who are generally feared - size is equated to power.

Even today, we tend to equate intelligence and power with the human form, or refer to people as larger than life.

Offline 12 Monkeys

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #9 on: November 04, 2013, 11:38:44 PM »
He needs balls so he had something else to play with after 6 days of creating the universe, Can you imagine only having humanity to play with for eternity. I would be bored as shit after the first millenia.
There's no right there's no wrong,there's just popular opinion (Brad Pitt as Jeffery Goines in 12 monkeys)

Offline epidemic

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2013, 10:29:00 AM »
who said Adam and EVE had belly buttons?

Making someone in their image may be methophorical.  Perhaps he meant their souls and not their bodies:)

Offline Mrjason

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2013, 10:34:21 AM »
who said Adam and EVE had belly buttons?

Do you have a belly button? Are you man that is decended from those made in gods image?

Offline epidemic

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2013, 10:42:27 AM »
who said Adam and EVE had belly buttons?

Do you have a belly button? Are you man that is decended from those made in gods image?

Do you have scars?  Adam and Eve (if genesis was real) likely did not have belly buttons.  The belly button is effectively a scar left from the process of being raised in a womb.

Of course god could have given the belly buttons or not I mean the dude created them from dirt and spare body parts.  If he wanted to he could have poked his finger in the clay and formed a belly button:)  But there was absolutely no need or proof they had belly buttons.:)


lets take cloning and rasing a clone in a tank.   perhaps the scientist who finally do this will decide that introducing nutrients through the belly button is not most effective way to feed a clone and then they will be born without belly buttons.

Online Aaron123

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #13 on: November 05, 2013, 10:54:02 AM »
who said Adam and EVE had belly buttons?

Making someone in their image may be methophorical.  Perhaps he meant their souls and not their bodies:)

How do you "metaphorically" make someone in your image?
Being a Christian, I've made my decision. That decision offers no compromise; therefore, I'm closed to anything else.

Offline epidemic

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #14 on: November 05, 2013, 11:23:04 AM »
who said Adam and EVE had belly buttons?

Making someone in their image may be methophorical.  Perhaps he meant their souls and not their bodies:)

How do you "metaphorically" make someone in your image?

Well it depends on what part of them you are making in that image.  When you speak of humans are you talking about their physical bodies or their essence/their soul.  We may well not be talking about the physical body but the mind.  Being that humans come in many flavors and looks we can assume that they were not made to be clones of god.   Being that women and men are different again we must be saying that he was not trying to mirror his physical genetalia. 



here are some examples of making things in the image of something that does not replicate every part.  a painting of a woman does not need to have her breasts anus and vagina hidden under the paint.  a non functioning replica 1891 colt does not need to have the barrel rifled.  A statue of a naked man does not need testicles or a colon.  Each of these things are made in the image of something else but do not include all the parts.  We choose the parts to replicate when creating an image.

I made cannons for my holloween spook walk they only replicate the explosion and smoke of a cannon but look absolutely nothing like a cannon.  I chose what part to replicate.

God may have made the smoke and bang but chose a totally different construction technique to give them form.


I am not supporting genesis here just saying that there is nothing to be gained deciding what being created in somethings image might mean.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2013, 11:25:11 AM by epidemic »

Offline Mrjason

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #15 on: November 05, 2013, 11:29:22 AM »
who said Adam and EVE had belly buttons?

Do you have a belly button? Are you man that is descended from those made in gods image?

Do you have scars?  Adam and Eve (if genesis was real) likely did not have belly buttons.  The belly button is effectively a scar left from the process of being raised in a womb.

You're quite right adam wouldn't have needed a belly button, the point is that we do have one and have therefore deviated from the initial design.

You could equally ask why men have nipples if they were created specifically to be male.
Adam shouldn't have had them either as his fetus wouldn't have developed them until the Y chromosome kicked in. Or any of the other signs that males started female.

Yeah it's a facetious argument but it is evidence that the grand design was at least tweaked if it was real in the first place.
This leads on to may other questions about why the big man changed his mind.

Of course god could have given the belly buttons or not I mean the dude created them from dirt and spare body parts.  If he wanted to he could have poked his finger in the clay and formed a belly button:)  But there was absolutely no need or proof they had belly buttons.:)

As above.


lets take cloning and rasing a clone in a tank.   perhaps the scientist who finally do this will decide that introducing nutrients through the belly button is not most effective way to feed a clone and then they will be born without belly buttons.

Yes, if it were a more efficient way then this could be possible. The fact is though since adam and eve, who is effectively adams clone, all humans have had "stuff" that wouldn't be needed by humans who were poofed into existence.

Online Ron Jeremy

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #16 on: November 05, 2013, 12:16:21 PM »
'Man with nipples'? Yeah, I like that point.

Paintings not showing female breasts or male genitalia? Fair enough. So theists, please name a part that 'god' has that we also have?
Matthew 10:22 "and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved." - An example of a clearly demonstrably false biblical 'prophesy'.

The biblical myth of a 6000 year old Earth is proven false by the Gaia satellite directly measuring star age.

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #17 on: November 05, 2013, 12:18:27 PM »
'Man with nipples'? Yeah, I like that point.

Spoken like someone who's never dated guys.

Paintings not showing female breasts or male genitalia? Fair enough. So theists, please name a part that 'god' has that we also have?

What about his ass? IIRC he showed it to some guy in the Bible.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2013, 12:27:26 PM by One Above All »
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Online Ron Jeremy

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #18 on: November 05, 2013, 01:11:20 PM »
Bah to 'quoting'
« Last Edit: November 05, 2013, 01:12:59 PM by Ron Jeremy »
Matthew 10:22 "and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved." - An example of a clearly demonstrably false biblical 'prophesy'.

The biblical myth of a 6000 year old Earth is proven false by the Gaia satellite directly measuring star age.

Offline epidemic

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #19 on: November 05, 2013, 02:01:40 PM »
'Man with nipples'? Yeah, I like that point.

Paintings not showing female breasts or male genitalia? Fair enough. So theists, please name a part that 'god' has that we also have?

the only part of the body that counts.   The soul/your essence/you the thing that makes you, "you"?  The body is just a vehicle for you who cares if it has a belly button or nipples that is just how we were designed.  Perhaps we have nipples because they are maternally passed on.

Offline 12 Monkeys

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #20 on: November 06, 2013, 12:32:16 AM »
Epidemic,are you just pulling this out your backside? Where is the essence of the long dead who will rise from the grave when Jesus returns to create heaven on earth?
There's no right there's no wrong,there's just popular opinion (Brad Pitt as Jeffery Goines in 12 monkeys)

Offline Mrjason

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #21 on: November 06, 2013, 05:30:43 AM »
'Man with nipples'? Yeah, I like that point.

Paintings not showing female breasts or male genitalia? Fair enough. So theists, please name a part that 'god' has that we also have?

the only part of the body that counts.   The soul/your essence/you the thing that makes you, "you"?  The body is just a vehicle for you who cares if it has a belly button or nipples that is just how we were designed.  Perhaps we have nipples because they are maternally passed on.

You're missing the point that if men were specifically designed to be male why do they have redundant female specific features

Offline epidemic

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #22 on: November 06, 2013, 01:02:25 PM »
'Man with nipples'? Yeah, I like that point.

Paintings not showing female breasts or male genitalia? Fair enough. So theists, please name a part that 'god' has that we also have?

the only part of the body that counts.   The soul/your essence/you the thing that makes you, "you"?  The body is just a vehicle for you who cares if it has a belly button or nipples that is just how we were designed.  Perhaps we have nipples because they are maternally passed on.

You're missing the point that if men were specifically designed to be male why do they have redundant female specific features

I don't know.   Because we are all essentially female until our genes produce either estrogen or testosterone.  We are designed that way because that is the formula that was used to create man and woman.

Offline epidemic

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #23 on: November 06, 2013, 01:03:56 PM »
Epidemic,are you just pulling this out your backside? Where is the essence of the long dead who will rise from the grave when Jesus returns to create heaven on earth?


Of course I am pulling this out of my ass.   We are discussing magic and or mythical things. 

Just like if we discuss the show the walking dead.

Offline Nam

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #24 on: November 06, 2013, 01:07:24 PM »
Where did Cain & Abel's wives come from?


This is why the human species is retarded.

Explains it all!

;)

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Offline epidemic

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #25 on: November 06, 2013, 01:28:36 PM »
to be fair I believe you can have quite normal children when breeding with your sisters.   there is a higher incidence of deformity but assuming that we started with relatively few defects in the original genome you could probably have slept with your sisters for generations with out any ill effects.

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #26 on: November 06, 2013, 01:59:49 PM »
to be fair I believe you can have quite normal children when breeding with your sisters.   there is a higher incidence of deformity but assuming that we started with relatively few defects in the original genome you could probably have slept with your sisters for generations with out any ill effects.

Adam and Eve.then Eve had three sons who then fucked Eve who had more children, who then fucked Eve and/or their sisters, and you know Adam fucked his daughters who had children who fucked their mothers and grandmother etc., etc., the Bible started us out retarded.

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #27 on: November 06, 2013, 02:02:37 PM »
<snip>
the Bible started us out retarded.

Just FYI: you don't have to go further than A&E. One created from dust, one created from a rib made from dust. Both without a sense of right and wrong or even mildly intelligent.

-Nam

-One
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Offline epidemic

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Re: Why Does Bible God have Testicles?
« Reply #28 on: November 06, 2013, 02:29:25 PM »
<snip>
the Bible started us out retarded.

Just FYI: you don't have to go further than A&E. One created from dust, one created from a rib made from dust. Both without a sense of right and wrong or even mildly intelligent.

-Nam

-One

Oh I have to go with A&E must have been intelligent.  With no formal training they learned how to farm, hunt, fish, make clothes, survive in the wild.

I dare say that virtually none of us could accomplish such a task coming from a life of luxury, never having to had a parent or society teach them anything.  The observational and adaptation skill of A&E far exceeds that of any human I think.

They birthed children taught them to farm, forge, form clay, construct housing, ranch.  A&E were jack of all trades and master of all as well.