Because this thread grew so fast last night when I wasn't looking - I don't think I can manage trying to respond to every person. I hope this isn't a faux pas here? My head might explode trying and that wouldn't be pretty.
I do want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their thoughtful answers. Yes, everyone. You have all given me so much food for thought, I won't be hungry for days.
A couple of you mentioned that I should examine why something would bother me so long after the incident - that is a good question. I think it's because I, trying to do the xtian thing, attempted to turn the other cheek and let it go. Emphasis on "tried." That can build up into resentment.
FWIW, I'm feeling some freedom in letting it go by not forcing myself to forgive. My heart resonates most with the answers/insight from those whose answers discussed this perspective. No, the incident(s) didn't involve murder, but it involved some pretty fucked up betrayal and I just don't think it is worth my time to wring my hands over it any more. I cannot tell you how many xtian books I read dealing with forgiveness (hint: too many to count). I'm frankly sick of it.
I was seeking some fresh outlook on the topic - and boy did you all deliver - it's a fascinating topic and I was rewarded with some really thoughtful responses.
I have to say that, I've been involved in online discussion groups before, but this place is a goldmine of deep thinkers, and off-the-charts intellect. It's a bit intimidating - but fun to watch and try to keep up.
Thanks again for the input, all of you.
ETA: minor typo fix