Author Topic: I lost my virginity last night and thought I would share the experience with you  (Read 724 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Jag

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1790
  • Darwins +191/-7
  • Gender: Female
  • Official WWGHA Harpy, Ex-rosary squad
Ok, maybe virginity isn’t the right word. It was my first experience listening to a creationist present his information IRL though, and as first times go it was a real disappointment. To the presenter’s credit, the “right kind of glasses” thing mattered – he walked to the podium, took off the glasses he was wearing and threw them across the room, replaced them with another pair and started talking. It was the weirdest attention getter I’ve ever seen  - people DUCKED.

It was predictable, although I hadn’t heard the “it used to be a big lake, not a river” explanation for the Grand Canyon. That suggestion was used to “destroy the fossil record evidence”, although I didn’t quite catch how. And apparently it’s very difficult to find maps of the Ice Age on the internet according to my “new friend Brian”, so he settled for one that looked like it came from an elementary school textbook. I couldn’t duplicate his poor search results though, I found plenty of them so I’m not convinced that it’s all that difficult.

The Flood™ really did happen. And it covered the whole planet. There was plenty of water too, because it came out of the Earth through the gaps in the tectonic plates, duh. And it was deep enough to cover everything because Mount Everest wasn’t there yet; it didn’t show up until later because the flood was like the biggest tsunami ever, so big it actually changed the geography of the planet.

None of the visuals were from a scientific source. One story about a clamshell came from a newspaper with a name similar to the Claxton Caller, and this story was a pretty big deal to support his point, but he apparently couldn’t find a national publication or even a familiar one that carried the story… I guess?

Darwin was a racist and somehow that made him and Hitler really good friends.

The Tower of Babel did not include Babel fish[1], and there were land bridges before The Flood™ and people crossed them since the communication problems now made building towers very challenging, thereby populating the Earth. That’s also where the different races came from – we’re all the same (he was EMPHATIC about that) and he even used the right word to explain why skin color varies.

Lucy and the “hip bone controversy” (which actually made valid points if you completely ignored the highly selective editing), Haeckel, Piltdown Man – these are matter of enough significance to discredit that pesky ever-changing science.

And if you want to show all the flaws in the ToE, who better to ask than a geologist?

The Big Bang was of course mentioned, but very quickly and he managed to gloss over the problem by ignoring it entirely.

Let’s see, what else? There was a rapt-faced woman in the front row who was a fairly obvious plant. She made all the right noises in all the right places on cue. New friend Brian knows how to give a talk - his timing was superb, his delivery was smooth, and aside from starting with a near assault on his audience, he never got too crazy. He finished his presentation – this was clever and I’ll keep it in mind for my own use in the future – and turned the mic over to the sponsoring church’s minister for a 15 minute “Jesus loves you and the Bible is awesome” chat BEFORE he opened for questions. His techniques were spot on for his purposes, and if I didn’t know what was being done, it would be easy to miss it entirely. He managed the audience from beginning to end.

I had promised my two companions that I wouldn’t start an argument and I didn’t. The first person to speak up stated that he didn’t believe that the bible was inerrant because it had been written by man and then rambled something that ended up being about different races – I couldn’t make sense of it to be honest. Then my new friend Brian blew it – he explained that different skin color was a simple adaptation related to how much sunlight any given area got. I pointed out that he had just used the theory of evolution in his explanation of simple adaptations in skin color and we left.

I don’t think my new friend Brian likes me anymore.
 1. ok, that part was me
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline magicmiles

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 2947
  • Darwins +180/-73
  • Gender: Male
So you screwed.
Go on up you baldhead.

Offline magicmiles

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 2947
  • Darwins +180/-73
  • Gender: Male
I was waiting for the "please explain" for that comment ^^ , but I can wait no more.

Saw a Creationist Rubbish Evolution Without Engaging in Debate.

I know, I'm pathetic.
Go on up you baldhead.

Offline Nam

  • Laureate
  • *********
  • Posts: 12463
  • Darwins +323/-84
  • Gender: Male
  • I'm on the road less traveled...
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
You know, the first time is usually a disappointment for all involved. That's what foreplay's for. Did you get foreplay? Was it good?

-Nam
This thread is about lab-grown dicks, not some mincy, old, British poof of an actor. 

Let's get back on topic, please.


Online wright

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1859
  • Darwins +79/-1
  • Gender: Male
  • "Sleep like a log, snore like a chainsaw."
Thanks for the account, Jag. Sorry you felt let down; perhaps next time you won't feel as constrained by your companions. I take it they were theists who didn't want the grumpy atheist harshing their nice creationist buzz?

I was waiting for the "please explain" for that comment ^^ , but I can wait no more.

Saw a Creationist Rubbish Evolution Without Engaging in Debate.

I know, I'm pathetic.

I've seen and made worse, magic.
Live a good life... If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. I am not afraid.
--Marcus Aurelius

Offline Jag

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1790
  • Darwins +191/-7
  • Gender: Female
  • Official WWGHA Harpy, Ex-rosary squad
I was waiting for the "please explain" for that comment ^^ , but I can wait no more.

Saw a Creationist Rubbish Evolution Without Engaging in Debate.

I know, I'm pathetic.
Apologies for disappointing you mm - I posted and went to bed, so I didn't see this until now.  I certainly would have responded appropriately if I'd been awake  ;)

I think it's fair to say that I did screw, yes.  Good job tying the pun to the thread  title by the way - how long did it take you to make that work?
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline Jag

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1790
  • Darwins +191/-7
  • Gender: Female
  • Official WWGHA Harpy, Ex-rosary squad
You know, the first time is usually a disappointment for all involved. That's what foreplay's for. Did you get foreplay? Was it good?

-Nam
Accessories flying around the room was as close to foreplay as we got. Not very good, no.

Thanks for the account, Jag. Sorry you felt let down; perhaps next time you won't feel as constrained by your companions. I take it they were theists who didn't want the grumpy atheist harshing their nice creationist buzz?

The biggest disappointment was that it was so clearly not an open discussion, it was a sermon. When he answered the first audience remark by using evolution to explain his position, there was no point in even trying to discuss anything.

My companions just know me well - Minnesotans by and large do not like to disagree with people in public, or show strong emotions at non-sporting public events. Don't get me wrong, we'll trash you the instant you are out of range, but never to your face - the Scandinavian reserve is very strong here. Neither of them are believers, but both are generally pretty reserved. I'm far more blunt in person than I am online - that's what they were guarding against. I'm not a completely typical Minnesotan AND I'm Irish.  ;)

There's another presentation that Brian apparently does on dinosaurs - it was mentioned as a possible future event. If I notice it, I'll go and bring a few more outspoken friends.
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline Wasserbuffel

  • Student
  • **
  • Posts: 93
  • Darwins +19/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • WWGHA Member
Quote
The Tower of Babel did not include Babel fish[1], and there were land bridges before The Flood™ and people crossed them since the communication problems now made building towers very challenging, thereby populating the Earth. That’s also where the different races came from – we’re all the same (he was EMPHATIC about that) and he even used the right word to explain why skin color varies.

If all the races came about before the flood, how are they all still here?  Wouldn't they have been killed and everyone thereafter pretty much look like Noah and his kin?

Offline hickdive

  • Postgraduate
  • *****
  • Posts: 926
  • Darwins +32/-0
  • Gender: Male
I don’t think my new friend Brian likes me anymore.

Does this mean he won't let you come again?
Stupidity, unlike intelligence, has no limits.

Offline Jag

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1790
  • Darwins +191/-7
  • Gender: Female
  • Official WWGHA Harpy, Ex-rosary squad
Quote
The Tower of Babel did not include Babel fish[1], and there were land bridges before The Flood™ and people crossed them since the communication problems now made building towers very challenging, thereby populating the Earth. That’s also where the different races came from – we’re all the same (he was EMPHATIC about that) and he even used the right word to explain why skin color varies.

If all the races came about before the flood, how are they all still here?  Wouldn't they have been killed and everyone thereafter pretty much look like Noah and his kin?

We're both over looking something that's obvious to me now: the order of events as describe in Genesis has the Flood first, then the Tower being built..... so the different races would appear post-tower building attempt, but the land bridges Brian used to explain the migration that led to the development of different races would not. That sneaky little f'er!

Damn it, I'm going to have to bite the bullet and read the bible again. I've gotten too far removed from it to remember what happens when.
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline neopagan

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1161
  • Darwins +86/-3
  • Gender: Male
^^^ We can forgive you - post-coital bliss can numb the senses... No wonder you were sleepy
If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline Wasserbuffel

  • Student
  • **
  • Posts: 93
  • Darwins +19/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • WWGHA Member
Quote
That sneaky little f'er!

LOL.  Gotta watch them.

Offline Nam

  • Laureate
  • *********
  • Posts: 12463
  • Darwins +323/-84
  • Gender: Male
  • I'm on the road less traveled...
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
Quote
The Tower of Babel did not include Babel fish[1], and there were land bridges before The Flood™ and people crossed them since the communication problems now made building towers very challenging, thereby populating the Earth. That’s also where the different races came from – we’re all the same (he was EMPHATIC about that) and he even used the right word to explain why skin color varies.

If all the races came about before the flood, how are they all still here?  Wouldn't they have been killed and everyone thereafter pretty much look like Noah and his kin?

We're both over looking something that's obvious to me now: the order of events as describe in Genesis has the Flood first, then the Tower being built..... so the different races would appear post-tower building attempt, but the land bridges Brian used to explain the migration that led to the development of different races would not. That sneaky little f'er!

Damn it, I'm going to have to bite the bullet and read the bible again. I've gotten too far removed from it to remember what happens when.

Don't do it! Your brain will explode.

-Nam
« Last Edit: October 24, 2013, 04:09:00 PM by Nam »
This thread is about lab-grown dicks, not some mincy, old, British poof of an actor. 

Let's get back on topic, please.


Offline Jag

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1790
  • Darwins +191/-7
  • Gender: Female
  • Official WWGHA Harpy, Ex-rosary squad
^^^I figure I'll read the Brick Bible, OT and NT. When the story gets too grim, I'll pause and enjoy the effort he put into the illustrations for a while until I can stomach the horrors again.  :o
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline Nam

  • Laureate
  • *********
  • Posts: 12463
  • Darwins +323/-84
  • Gender: Male
  • I'm on the road less traveled...
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
^^^I figure I'll read the Brick Bible, OT and NT. When the story gets too grim, I'll pause and enjoy the effort he put into the illustrations for a while until I can stomach the horrors again.  :o

Don't do it! (Lays down in front of the Bible--I'll protect you!!!)

-Nam
This thread is about lab-grown dicks, not some mincy, old, British poof of an actor. 

Let's get back on topic, please.


Offline magicmiles

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 2947
  • Darwins +180/-73
  • Gender: Male
I was waiting for the "please explain" for that comment ^^ , but I can wait no more.

Saw a Creationist Rubbish Evolution Without Engaging in Debate.

I know, I'm pathetic.
Apologies for disappointing you mm - I posted and went to bed, so I didn't see this until now.  I certainly would have responded appropriately if I'd been awake  ;)

I think it's fair to say that I did screw, yes.  Good job tying the pun to the thread  title by the way - how long did it take you to make that work?

Not long, after I gave up trying to make 'sex' work...can't do anything with the X.
Go on up you baldhead.

Offline Jag

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1790
  • Darwins +191/-7
  • Gender: Female
  • Official WWGHA Harpy, Ex-rosary squad
^^^I figure I'll read the Brick Bible, OT and NT. When the story gets too grim, I'll pause and enjoy the effort he put into the illustrations for a while until I can stomach the horrors again.  :o

Don't do it! (Lays down in front of the Bible--I'll protect you!!!)

-Nam

Nam, my hero!
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline Jag

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1790
  • Darwins +191/-7
  • Gender: Female
  • Official WWGHA Harpy, Ex-rosary squad
I was waiting for the "please explain" for that comment ^^ , but I can wait no more.

Saw a Creationist Rubbish Evolution Without Engaging in Debate.

I know, I'm pathetic.
Apologies for disappointing you mm - I posted and went to bed, so I didn't see this until now.  I certainly would have responded appropriately if I'd been awake  ;)

I think it's fair to say that I did screw, yes.  Good job tying the pun to the thread  title by the way - how long did it take you to make that work?

Not long, after I gave up trying to make 'sex' work...can't do anything with the X.

I can see how that might be tough - I like the anagram you came up with quite a bit. Good to laugh early in the day, it sets the tone for the rest quite nicely!
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline neopagan

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1161
  • Darwins +86/-3
  • Gender: Male

Not long, after I gave up trying to make 'sex' work...can't do anything with the X.

Right gentlemany of you, m2 - why force your X into something she wasn't comfortable doing?  :)
If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline magicmiles

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 2947
  • Darwins +180/-73
  • Gender: Male
You know, I was going to make that joke as well but thought I'd leave the floor open for an opportunist with a flair for silly.  ;)

Go on up you baldhead.

Offline Jag

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1790
  • Darwins +191/-7
  • Gender: Female
  • Official WWGHA Harpy, Ex-rosary squad
Hmm. I hadn't considered the implications of having two of you here with such similar senses of humor... let the punning begin gentlemen!
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline magicmiles

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 2947
  • Darwins +180/-73
  • Gender: Male
We're actualy quite different. He has a sense of humor, I have a sense of humour.

Australians spell words differently, some would say more correctly.
Go on up you baldhead.

Offline neopagan

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1161
  • Darwins +86/-3
  • Gender: Male
He types with a funny accent and most of what he says is a croc
If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline Jag

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1790
  • Darwins +191/-7
  • Gender: Female
  • Official WWGHA Harpy, Ex-rosary squad
Your honor (or is that "honour"?), I rest my case.
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline magicmiles

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 2947
  • Darwins +180/-73
  • Gender: Male
Judge to Jag: How'd you get that case through security?
Go on up you baldhead.

Offline Nam

  • Laureate
  • *********
  • Posts: 12463
  • Darwins +323/-84
  • Gender: Male
  • I'm on the road less traveled...
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
We're actualy quite different. He has a sense of humor, I have a sense of humour.

Australians spell words differently, some would say more correctly.

Australian humor is something to get used to, especially if you don't know anything about the lingo.

-Nam
This thread is about lab-grown dicks, not some mincy, old, British poof of an actor. 

Let's get back on topic, please.


Offline Jag

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1790
  • Darwins +191/-7
  • Gender: Female
  • Official WWGHA Harpy, Ex-rosary squad
I knew the judge guard was a theist, so I just carried it in his blind spot.  :angel:

I messed up my own joke.  :'(

Edit: for effect
« Last Edit: October 24, 2013, 06:43:41 PM by Jag »
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline magicmiles

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 2947
  • Darwins +180/-73
  • Gender: Male
He types with a funny accent and most of what he says is a croc

Like a reasonable Simpsons character living in California, you're OK LA Homer.

That's terrible, but all I could think of. You win.
Go on up you baldhead.

Offline magicmiles

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 2947
  • Darwins +180/-73
  • Gender: Male
We're actualy quite different. He has a sense of humor, I have a sense of humour.

Australians spell words differently, some would say more correctly.

Australian humor is something to get used to, especially if you don't know anything about the lingo.

-Nam

Dingo, Nam. Not lingo.

Go on up you baldhead.