Ok, maybe virginity
isn’t the right word. It was my first experience listening to a creationist present his information IRL though, and as first times go it was a real disappointment. To the presenter’s credit, the “right kind of glasses”
thing mattered – he walked to the podium, took off the glasses he was wearing and threw them across the room, replaced them with another pair and started talking. It was the weirdest attention getter I’ve ever seen - people DUCKED.
It was predictable, although I hadn’t heard the “it used to be a big lake, not a river” explanation for the Grand Canyon. That suggestion was used to “destroy the fossil record evidence”, although I didn’t quite catch how. And apparently it’s very difficult to find maps of the Ice Age on the internet according to my “new friend Brian”, so he settled for one that looked like it came from an elementary school textbook. I couldn’t duplicate his poor search results though, I found plenty of them so I’m not convinced that it’s all that difficult.
The Flood™ really did happen. And it covered the whole planet. There was plenty of water too, because it came out of the Earth through the gaps in the tectonic plates, duh. And it was deep enough to cover everything because Mount Everest wasn’t there yet; it didn’t show up until later because the flood was like the biggest tsunami ever, so big it actually changed the geography of the planet.
None of the visuals were from a scientific source. One story about a clamshell came from a newspaper with a name similar to the Claxton Caller, and this story was a pretty big deal to support his point, but he apparently couldn’t find a national publication or even a familiar one that carried the story… I guess?
Darwin was a racist and somehow that made him and Hitler really good friends.
The Tower of Babel did not include Babel fish
, and there were land bridges before The Flood™ and people crossed them since the communication problems now made building towers very challenging, thereby populating the Earth. That’s also where the different races came from – we’re all the same (he was EMPHATIC about that) and he even used the right word to explain why skin color varies.
Lucy and the “hip bone controversy” (which actually made valid points if you completely ignored the highly selective editing), Haeckel, Piltdown Man – these are matter of enough significance to discredit that pesky ever-changing science.
And if you want to show all the flaws in the ToE, who better to ask than a geologist?
The Big Bang was of course mentioned, but very quickly and he managed to gloss over the problem by ignoring it entirely.
Let’s see, what else? There was a rapt-faced woman in the front row who was a fairly obvious plant. She made all the right noises in all the right places on cue. New friend Brian knows how to give a talk - his timing was superb, his delivery was smooth, and aside from starting with a near assault on his audience, he never got too crazy. He finished his presentation – this was clever and I’ll keep it in mind for my own use in the future – and turned the mic over to the sponsoring church’s minister for a 15 minute “Jesus loves you and the Bible is awesome” chat BEFORE he opened for questions. His techniques were spot on for his purposes, and if I didn’t know what was being done, it would be easy to miss it entirely. He managed the audience from beginning to end.
I had promised my two companions that I wouldn’t start an argument and I didn’t. The first person to speak up stated that he didn’t believe that the bible was inerrant because it had been written by man and then rambled something that ended up being about different races – I couldn’t make sense of it to be honest. Then my new friend Brian blew it – he explained that different skin color was a simple adaptation related to how much sunlight any given area got. I pointed out that he had just used the theory of evolution in his explanation of simple adaptations in skin color and we left.
I don’t think my new friend Brian likes me anymore.