Author Topic: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan  (Read 946 times)

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Offline pianodwarf

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Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« on: October 14, 2013, 02:02:54 PM »
Studying for my criminology class, I came across this little nugget just now.  The story is a little old, but it's still pertinent.

Quote from: Frank Schmalleger
Carolyn Risher, the 61-year-old Pentecostal mayor of Inglis, Florida, believes in an unusual crime-reduction strategy.  In 2002, she issued an official proclamation banning Satan from Inglis and rendering him powerless over its 1,400 citizens.  In the proclamation, issued on official town stationery, Risher wrote, "We exercise our authority over the devil in Jesus' name.  By that authority . . . we command all satanic and demonic forces to cease their activities and depart the town of Inglis."  While the mayor was undoubtedly well-intentioned, Mitchell Billups, the town's police chief, says that crime did not decrease after the mayor took action.
{Ellipsis in the original}

Source: Frank Schmalleger, "Criminology Today: An Integrative Introduction", 5th ed., page 88
[On how kangaroos could have gotten back to Australia after the flood]:  Don't kangaroos skip along the surface of the water? --Kenn

Offline Aaron123

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2013, 02:06:04 PM »
Well, at least we know now that demons are more powerful than "Jesus' name".
Being a Christian, I've made my decision. That decision offers no compromise; therefore, I'm closed to anything else.

Offline One Above All

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2013, 02:06:45 PM »
I... I don't know what to say. Was it dementia?
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

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Online wright

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2013, 02:13:39 PM »
Maybe someone could suggest that since Jesus seems ineffective, the current mayor try banning Satan in the name of Allah?

I... I don't know what to say. Was it dementia?

Oh, One Above, would that it were possible in the US to get such pronouncements from public officials considered dementia. Then at least they'd be quiet about their beliefs. They'd still have little trouble getting elected, though.
Live a good life... If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. I am not afraid.
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Offline ParkingPlaces

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2013, 02:24:00 PM »
Gee, if only god had thought of that in Eden. Life would be so much better. Perfect in fact.

Which just goes to show: it wouldn't be wise to elect god as your mayor. He isn't smart enough.
Not everyone is entitled to their opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Offline Nick

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #5 on: October 14, 2013, 03:34:45 PM »
Nam's state !!! :)

Didn't Satan worshipers picket the Florida gov not long ago over something?

Maybe global change will sink that state soon.

Nam, can you swim?
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline Nam

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2013, 11:56:39 PM »
Floridians -- don't ya just love makin' fun of 'em?

-Nam
This is my signature "Nam", don't I have nice typing skills?

Offline natlegend

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2013, 09:50:19 PM »
Oh drat, now I'm gonna have to cancel my holiday plans to visit Inglis. And I heard it was such a lovely little town, full of souls ripe for corruption. Guess I'll Just go to Texas instead and make sure all those science books get changed to include 'so-called' intelligent design.
"When we landed on the moon, that was the point where God should have come up and said hello. Because if you invent some creatures, put them on the blue one and they make it to the grey one, you fucking turn up and say well done." - Eddie Izzard

You keep using that word. I do not think it means

Offline Jag

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2013, 11:20:24 PM »
Floridians -- don't ya just love makin' fun of 'em?

-Nam
Fark assigned Florida it's own category, which makes it easier to find things to make fun of  8)
My tolerance for BS is limited, and I use up most of it IRL.

Offline Nam

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2013, 11:59:50 PM »
Fuck Fark.

;)

-Nam
This is my signature "Nam", don't I have nice typing skills?

Offline Astreja

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #10 on: October 17, 2013, 12:15:35 AM »
The mayor's speech is eerily reminiscent of Ray from Ghostbusters reading a cease-and-desist order to Gozer the Gozerian.   ;D
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Offline Dr H

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #11 on: October 17, 2013, 04:30:06 PM »
"...the town's police chief, says that crime did not decrease after the mayor took action."

The obvious conclusion would seem to be that crime has noting to do with Satan.  :)
Dr H

"I have nothing to say and I am saying it and that is poetry."
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Offline Backspace

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #12 on: October 18, 2013, 09:36:49 PM »
I declared my home off limits to religion, and crime here has been near zero (I think the cat stole one of my socks a while back).  Obviously a lack of religion leads to low crime rates.
There is no opinion so absurd that a preacher could not express it.
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Offline natlegend

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2013, 03:05:38 AM »
The mayor's speech is eerily reminiscent of Ray from Ghostbusters reading a cease-and-desist order to Gozer the Gozerian.   ;D

"Gozer the Gozerian... good evening. As a representative of the city, county and state of New York, I order you to cease and desist and and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin, or the nearest convenient parallel dimension."

"That ought to do it Ray thanks very much."

"Are you a god?"

"No."

"Then... DIE!!!!"

bzzzzzt bzzzzt

"Ray, the next time someone asks if you're a god, you say YES!"

All from memory folks. GB is one of my favourite movies. So remember, the next time someone asks if you're a god, you say yes! I think we can all learn something from this.
"When we landed on the moon, that was the point where God should have come up and said hello. Because if you invent some creatures, put them on the blue one and they make it to the grey one, you fucking turn up and say well done." - Eddie Izzard

You keep using that word. I do not think it means

Offline Astreja

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #14 on: October 20, 2013, 03:45:47 AM »
Quote from: Winston from Ghostbusters
Ray, the next time someone asks if you're a god, you say YES!

A couple of years ago, I met Dan Aykroyd at an autograph session and told him that I had taken that line to heart.   ;)  And then, in My capacity of Goddess of Random Equipment Malfunctions, I gave him a gift certificate for 50% off his next Random Equipment Malfunction (problem would last half as long, or cost half as much to fix).
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Offline RubyLeo

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Re: Mayor Issues Proclamation Declaring Town Off-Limits to Satan
« Reply #15 on: October 31, 2013, 08:42:49 AM »
I'm chiming in late on this one, but I have to say this story reminded me of the time (also in Florida!) when some "prayer group" anointed the highway with oil so "angels" would protect the area and convict sinners.   &)

So then the Humanists of Florida Association then used "unholy water" to "wash away the blessing."

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/03/19/atheists-use-unholy-water-to-unbless-florida-highway/

The prayer group that "anointed" the highway was obviously batshit crazy - but I found this equally funny.  :laugh:



"Any system of religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be true. "
~ Thomas Paine

Offline Dr H

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