Author Topic: "I Am That I Am"  (Read 353 times)

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Offline Nick

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"I Am That I Am"
« on: October 06, 2013, 12:59:39 PM »
My 40 day quest in the desert came up short (more like 40 minutes).  By the way, the desert is a boring place...unless you are in Vegas.  While there a burning cactus appeared.  Then a voice out of nowhere.  It said, " I Am That I Am".  I said, "WTF does that mean?"  Then it said back, "OK, sorry, I'm the God Dude".  I said, "Boy, do I have a lot of questions for you".  God Dude said, "Sorry, don't have time for questions...the angels are playing the demons in football and I have a sky box suit for the game.  They might need me to make sure the game turns out right."

Then He said, "I want you to take these 10 talking points back with you to WWGHA.  Then a fiery finger (think I was His middle finger) came down and wrote the talking points in the sand.  "Later", God Dude said and poof He was gone in a blast of wind. 

Well, you know what happens with wind and sand.  The talking points were no more.  The only one I kind of remember is the one about amputees toughing it out.  He was not going to cure any so quit whining about it.

And now I am back after being touched by the Lord.

Oh, and May the Peace of the Lord be with You. ;)  (10,000th) :)
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline William

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Re: "I Am That I Am"
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2013, 01:05:56 PM »
Happy 10000 Nick ... although personally I would never mix burning cactus with wind :o
Git mit uns

Offline shnozzola

Re: "I Am That I Am"
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2013, 01:09:10 PM »
That peyote is good stuff, although I guess there are a lot of meth labs in the desert, too.    ;)   Congratulations on 10000!
“I wanna go ice fishing on Europa, and see if something swims up to the camera lens and licks it.”- Neil deGrasse Tyson

Online Nam

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Re: "I Am That I Am"
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2013, 02:12:07 PM »
Meet any good ladies out there?

-Nam
A god is like a rock: it does absolutely nothing until someone or something forces it to do something. The only capability the rock has is doing nothing until another force compels it physically to move.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously - Humphrey

Offline hickdive

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Re: "I Am That I Am"
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2013, 03:22:29 PM »
Sorry to disappoint you but you haven't met god. You met either Popeye or Gloria Gaynor instead.
Stupidity, unlike intelligence, has no limits.

Offline ParkingPlaces

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Re: "I Am That I Am"
« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2013, 04:16:25 PM »
I, for one, am not going to tell you whether or not that was god. He asked me to keep quiet on the issue of you.

And hey, who's counting. Forty day, forty minutes, close enough. We here at WQWGHA were noticing a quip shortage, and though it wasn't being openly discussed, I'm pretty sure everyone knew it was because you were out for a walk.

But I love deserts. I hope you got to enjoy a little of your little time in one. Between the scorpions, the snakes with teeth, little critters crawling with maggots and the hot sun, I find such places as close to perfect as I could ever want. For periods of up to ten minutes. I never did figure out how half a million people could stay lost for 40 years. I mean, its not like they weren't incentivized to get the hell out of Dodge. Being god's chosen people should suck that much.

But you're back. That's all that matters. You didn't miss much, other than us missing you.

Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Online Nam

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Re: "I Am That I Am"
« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2013, 05:14:24 PM »
PP,

" WQWGHA " -- Why Q Would Greatly Harm Assholes!

You promised me Q wouldn't do that anymore. You lied.

:'(

-Nam
A god is like a rock: it does absolutely nothing until someone or something forces it to do something. The only capability the rock has is doing nothing until another force compels it physically to move.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously - Humphrey

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: "I Am That I Am"
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2013, 03:16:37 PM »
Did you see Walt's pants?  (Only relevant for Breaking Bad fans)
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Online Nam

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Re: "I Am That I Am"
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2013, 03:28:33 PM »
Did you see Walt's pants?  (Only relevant for Breaking Bad fans)

Oh, I thought you were speaking about Walt from LOST. I mean, why would he lose his pants.

;)

-Nam
A god is like a rock: it does absolutely nothing until someone or something forces it to do something. The only capability the rock has is doing nothing until another force compels it physically to move.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously - Humphrey