Author Topic: The never ending story. By Angus and Alexis.  (Read 1277 times)

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Offline Fiji

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Re: The never ending story. By Angus and Alexis.
« Reply #58 on: October 11, 2013, 04:52:45 AM »
So ... so far we have ...
Quote
Emergence of the pot blessing Manatee

1:1 Once upon a time four words started something called religion when a goat herder asshole made an inedible stew made from hair and offal with a narcotic garnish obtained from Moses and blessed by a wandering gypsy who's name was hard to remember but easy to confuse with a West Indian manatee but since nobody has ever attempted to bless weed we shall call upon the manatee named Henry Freeman otherwise just Jay.

1:2 Jay was walking on his flippers to score free willy 2 tickets and sexual favours but realized he weighed around 3,649 lbs and needed stew to lose weight Trichechus manatus latirostris because manatees are three day sleepers when tweaked on anthrax laced shoes causing onlookers to use instagram in fisher price laptops spreading the word of the manatee and twerking songs bringing unity to pirates and pot because pastafarians are right, except for Bill Murray, who spent the day contemplating his navel and watching MLP:FiM while his neighbors dug his deep grave under the man-eating trees with chainsaw hands.

This is beginning to look a lot like actual scripture. Long winding phrases that don't go anywhere and leave a lot to interpretation. Like, is Bill Murray the one pastafarian who is wrong, or is he not a pastafarian or was the except refering all the way back to the onlookers bit and is it saying that Bill Murray was the one onlooker who didn't use instagram, or didn't user a fisher price laptop or didn't spread the word of the manatee and if it's that last one, who's word was he spreading, if any?
Also, a guy from another religion is referenced and another religion still is said to be right.
And then there's a sudden phrase in a different language appearing out of nowhere. Is this part of the scripture? Is it a sidenote by a translator. Hang on ... a translator? This isn't the original version?! Did the Manatee even speak English?
Speking of the Manatee, we're two verses into the holy book, and he already has two different names. Well, at least he's a he, yay for paternalistic religions!
Can you imagine the number of different sects these two lines alone are going to spawn, a few centuries down the line?
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

Schrodinger's thunderdome! One cat enters and one MIGHT leave!

Without life, god has no meaning.

Offline Fiji

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Re: The never ending story. By Angus and Alexis.
« Reply #59 on: October 11, 2013, 05:01:27 AM »
anyway ...

... 1:3 Bloody hell spake ...
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

Schrodinger's thunderdome! One cat enters and one MIGHT leave!

Without life, god has no meaning.

Online Mrjason

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Re: The never ending story. By Angus and Alexis.
« Reply #60 on: October 11, 2013, 05:18:36 AM »
And then there's a sudden phrase in a different language appearing out of nowhere. Is this part of the scripture? Is it a sidenote by a translator.

I can help with this.  Given Jay's excessive weight (manatees are usually around 1,300lbs) it may be that he is a Trichechus manatus latirostris, a subspecies of the west indian manatee that have been known weigh up to 3,649 lbs. The comment should be in brackets with a question mark after it.

Offline Angus and Alexis

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Re: The never ending story. By Angus and Alexis.
« Reply #61 on: October 11, 2013, 06:20:15 AM »
This is great XD.

Rule 1: No pooftas. Rule 2: No maltreating the theists, IF, anyone is watching. Rule 3: No pooftas. Rule 4: I do not want to see anyone NOT drinking after light out. Rule 5: No pooftas. Rule 6: There is NO...rule 6.

Online Mrjason

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Re: The never ending story. By Angus and Alexis.
« Reply #62 on: October 11, 2013, 06:46:45 AM »
anyway ...

... 1:3 Bloody hell spake ...

...tim the plumber...