Author Topic: A Relationship With God  (Read 11914 times)

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Offline Truth OT

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Re: A Relationship With God
« Reply #87 on: October 09, 2013, 04:11:47 PM »
I meant to say "Does your wife know about your conversion?"
Does she know you are an atheist now?  Have you come out of the closet yet?

She has known for nearly 2 years now. When I dropped the faith, it would have been impossible for her or the people that knew me not to notice as it was such a big part of who I was and to an extent still am. The way i look at it I have nothing to hide. I believe my current understanding as it relates to faith, more precisely the lack thereof is the right understanding, and being that I loves me some being right, I tend to share it when asked.

Offline Anfauglir

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Re: A Relationship With God
« Reply #88 on: October 10, 2013, 03:55:22 AM »
The problem there is with "coming out", is that for those within the belief it can be such a big thing, with such a raft of ingrained predjudices against the unbeliever.  With a whole host of other things, a partnership should be able to survive differing opinions.

For example, I can't bear reality shows.  My wife loves them.  I play wargames, my wife cannot see the attraction in my little toy soldiers.  So we arrange our lives so that a couple nights a week I go out and play games, and she watches all the reality shows from our Sky+ box.  Everybody is happy, and on the other nights we watch shows or do stuff that we both enjoy.  With most things, a good partnership can survive a difference of opinion and taste.

But religion has a problem.  Many churches instil in the believer the attitude that an atheist is not simply a person who (though otherwise a smashing person) doesn't believe in god.  No, an atheist is a person who denies god for selfish reasons, who renounces all that is good to indulge their wicked ways, someone unrepentantly evil who would eat a baby if left alone in a room with them.

And that's the problem, and why coming out as an atheist can be so hard - because in a lot of cases the partner will react against the stereotype their religion has embedded in them about the atheist, completely ignoring the fact that the person they have lived with quite happily for the last few years in happiness and goodness has not suddenly changed overnight - they were an atheist for some time, and never did anything evil.

That's why, while USUALLY honesty is good between couples, I would hesitate to always recommend it when it comes to beliefs.  Because too many faiths "pre-poison" people against unbelievers.
Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.
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Offline nogodsforme

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Re: A Relationship With God
« Reply #89 on: October 10, 2013, 03:01:32 PM »
Couples manage to make things work with all types of differences, as long as they are willing to have respect for each other. My husband and I are so different that most people who meet us separately are surprised to find that we are married![1]

The hardest situations arise when one person in the relationship changes their ideas about religion and the other does not. I mean, if both get together as religious (or atheist) and then one changes their mind. It would be especially hard if both were very religious and one stopped believing-- because of the poisoning discussed above. Nobody ever hears anything good about atheists, so you lose friends and your relatives freak out.

That is why neopagan is suffering. :(

Strangely, it seems to me that it would be easier if both were atheists and one became religious later. Since we are in the minority and are surrounded by religion (and many of us were once religious) I think we atheists are more used to making nice with religious people than vice versa.

Lucky for me, my religious husband knew I was leaning atheist from the time we first got together, although I was pre-hardcore atheist--still in the new age/spiritual phase a lot of us seem to go through. Now I am kick-a$$ take no prisoners atheist. But I am still able to make nice with god-believers in most situations.
 1. He is white, Christian and grew up hunting, fishing and dodging moose in the arctic wilderness, living in a house his dad built. I am black, atheist and grew up shopping with food stamps while dodging gangs in rough inner city neighborhoods.
When all of Cinderella's finery changed back at midnight, why didn't the shoes disappear? What's up with that?