I'm sorry I let my emotions get the best of me. I feel like such a fool for letting that happen. I did need a break though. That thread got pretty hot. I get tired of being called a liar. I will have to say in Nam's defense that I went to a cancer support website and in my inbox was a phishing scam. I see now that this sort of thing happens online, I can be naive at times and really just see the best of people and don't think too much about the nasty. Only difference here is I haven't asked for anything except for support. My intentions have been nothing but sincerely just wanting to share my point of view. I was hoping to influence Christians here more so than atheists and y'all run 'em off faster than I can get a hold of them.
They sensor you too much on their websites to even make a point.
I didn't come here to be passive or afraid. I will not let cancer stop me from my goal. If anything it makes me more passionate. I am confident in my beliefs and I am not afraid to own them. That's the freedom of being spiritual not religious!!! You only have your own conscience to guide you no book to tell you to do anything.
For the record I am very optimistic about a full recovery. You can not battle an enemy you do not think about. You have to know it's weakness and strengths. Rage Against The Machine: Know Your Enemy; good song. I don't even know how AA got the impression I thought cancer had already won or that it was stronger than my will to live. Strange.
Monday is the big day. I start dreaded it so bad. I am not even sure I am strong enough physically to get through it. I am still having issues with colitis and like betelnut said; "gas". I never knew gas could be so uncomfortable and sometimes down right painful. I do not know what to expect from the taxol they are switching me to. It is supposed to be easier I think.