I am preparing for my daughter's 7th birthday party. Her choice was a bouncy house.
Her eighth birthday is already planned. I've had it planned for years. Since she will be such a big girl, we will invite a few special friends, and sleep over in the Museum of Natural History. This is one of those things that I dreamed about as I planned to become a mother.
One of the other things that I have dreamed about is mother/daughter space camp. You can attend the family weekends with kids as young as 7. We've talked about it, and she really wants to do it. But as I do my research, it seems so grown up. We might wait a couple of years, so that she is old enough to really enjoy it.
This evening, she called me into her room an hour after she was supposed to be asleep. She wanted to go over tomorrow's plans. She starts after school tomorrow. The same, wonderful program she has attended since kindergarten, in the same site where she went to preschool. She wanted to know if I was going to be there when the bus dropped her off. I told her that one of the assistant teachers would meet her at the bus, and take her to her classroom. She asked what she should do if the teacher isn't there. And the bus schedules are kind of messed up right now, in the aftermath of budget cuts and combined routes. But the teacher should be there. If the teacher isn't there, just go inside. Go right to your room. You're in Room 2 again this year. But what if they aren't there, mommy? They'll be there honey. But what if they're not? Then ask the lady at the front desk honey. She'll tell you where you need to go. But they are going to be in room 2, ok?
The baby is gone. But she is such a little thing. She is so dependent, so appropriately dependent, on the adults in her life.
The idea of her, a year from now,
the idea of her one short year from now, being sexually abused by a 40 year old man who calls himself her husband, that idea is so offensive and disgusting to me.
My heart aches for this innocent little girl who died such an ugly death. And my heart aches for all the little girls whose childhood is stolen from them.