Most of your objections to the existence of a loving God seem to be based on modern-day American Christianity, which does not contextualize Biblical literature within history, philosophy, science, and anthropology as the Catholic church does. In fact, modern-day American Christianity, both in belief and practice, is indeed full of holes.
However, the Catholic faith has answers to every objection to the "God of the Bible" that you have raised; and they're not puny justifications either.
Can you please provide a list of the philosophers, scientists, historians, and anthropologists of whom you've read who have concluded that the God featured in Judeo-Christian literature exists? Since you are an "intelligent person living in the 21st century," I'm sure you've "take[n] some time to look at the data."