"So, I was porking the old lady one time, and as I was reaching the Point of No Return, a light appeared on the headboard. More of a glow, actually. And in the center of it, was a little, glowing jesus christ, about three inches tall. And he started speaking to me in Aramaic, but I understood what he was saying. He told me, 'grabeth of her left leg and giveth it a lift.' So I did. And it was unbelieveable. And then he said, 'pulleth of her hair, my child,' so I did that too. The tiny glowing jesus watched for a while, then gave me a thumbs up and disappeared. Amen."