Author Topic: Just got visited by JW's  (Read 1228 times)

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Offline One Above All

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Just got visited by JW's
« on: August 10, 2013, 10:26:05 AM »
They left a magazine for me to read. What should I tell them when they come back next week?

On a semi-related note, my dog started barking at them as soon as they mentioned that "the creator will soon return". Sounds like I've found the antichrist. :P
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
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Offline rev45

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2013, 10:59:10 AM »
I've been visited only once when I was working on putting some new windows in my house.  The guy just handed me a pamphlet and told me to have a nice day.  I don't think he ever visited again.  If they would I would do the same as I do for the door to door salesman, "No thanks, have a nice day", then close the door.
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Offline One Above All

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2013, 11:02:32 AM »
I've been visited only once when I was working on putting some new windows in my house.

Lucky you. This was the third different group of JW's (but not the third time they've visited; one of the groups visited three or so times, IIRC) ever since I moved here.

The guy just handed me a pamphlet and told me to have a nice day.  I don't think he ever visited again.  If they would I would do the same as I do for the door to door salesman, "No thanks, have a nice day", then close the door.

I guess I'll try it. Thanks.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Offline neopagan

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2013, 11:22:05 AM »
opening the door naked and smeared in fake blood always helps I find... of course, you need a little prep time but the bikes and ties usually give them away 
buwuhahahaha
If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline One Above All

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2013, 11:23:53 AM »
opening the door naked and smeared in fake blood always helps I find... of course, you need a little prep time but the bikes and ties usually give them away 
buwuhahahaha

Well, I was shirtless when they arrived. I yelled at them to wait a while, so I could find a shirt. Does that count?
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Offline neopagan

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2013, 11:53:32 AM »
only if that makes them go running - never to return again!

on the other hand, if you were wanting to engage in some mindless debate with them, have cookies and punch ready.  You'll need a bottle of something much stronger.
If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline One Above All

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2013, 11:55:22 AM »
only if that makes them go running - never to return again!

I don't mind if they return, as long as it's not too often.

on the other hand, if you were wanting to engage in some mindless debate with them, have cookies and punch ready.  You'll need a bottle of something much stronger.

I don't drink, nor do I invite strangers into my home.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Offline rev45

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2013, 12:57:01 PM »
On one of the mail routes I deliver a person stuck a handwritten sign on their door saying that if the person was there to sell something GO AWAY!!!  Might try something similar but make sure it includes religion peddlers. 
Here read a book.  It's free.
http://www.literatureproject.com/

Could a being create the fifty billion galaxies, each with two hundred billion stars, then rejoice in the smell of burning goat flesh?   Ron Patterson

Offline One Above All

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2013, 12:57:57 PM »
On one of the mail routes I deliver a person stuck a handwritten sign on their door saying that if the person was there to sell something GO AWAY!!!  Might try something similar but make sure it includes religion peddlers. 

I don't want to be rude to them, given that I don't know them well enough for it to be justified.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Offline Quesi

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2013, 02:17:07 PM »
Many years ago I met some wholesome street preachers (I think they were JW) on the streets of New Orleans during Mardi Gras.  Much to the dismay of my party companion, I decided to chat about the bible with them.  I asked them about whether we really should be training our troops to abduct women who they like, shave their hair, cut their fingernails, and not touch them for 30 days (I think) and then make them their wives but never to sell them into slavery if they displease the troops. 

I also asked about the exchange rate for shekels, and various other random things.

All discussions took place with a to-go cup in my hand.   

The two preachers were very impressed with me.  For some reason I gave them my email (I never do that, but I did) and they sent me all kinds of personal correspondence for years. 

I think they thought I was a promising convert. 

OAA?  Did you find any them attractive?  If so, you could confess your attraction.   

Or you could ask one of the men if you could try on his white shirt. 

So many possibilities. 

Offline One Above All

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #10 on: August 10, 2013, 02:26:03 PM »
All discussions took place with a to-go cup in my hand.

A what cup?

OAA?  Did you find any them attractive?  If so, you could confess your attraction.   

Or you could ask one of the men if you could try on his white shirt. 

So many possibilities. 

I do not find people old enough to be my parents/grandparents attractive. That's just... ew.
I sure hope that changes once I reach that age, assuming I have found someone by then, of course. If not, there's really no point.
As for a white shirt, I already have enough, thank you. Granted, most of them have stuff printed on them, and one was something I had made just for myself, but they're good enough for me.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Offline Nick

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #11 on: August 10, 2013, 06:06:59 PM »
Wow, really?  The creator is coming back.  I guess I had better pick up around the house.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline ParkingPlaces

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #12 on: August 10, 2013, 06:27:27 PM »
I'd tell them that you have a completely different way of looking at the world and that they have no more a chance of making you into a JW than you have of making them believe something completely different. Then tell them that the best way to deal with such an impasse is for them to put their efforts elsewhere.

If they push you, warn them that you have 144,001 atheist friends, so you have the JW's outnumbered. That'll scare 'em off.
Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Offline One Above All

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #13 on: August 10, 2013, 06:34:08 PM »
I'd tell them that you have a completely different way of looking at the world and that they have no more a chance of making you into a JW than you have of making them believe something completely different. Then tell them that the best way to deal with such an impasse is for them to put their efforts elsewhere.

That sounds good.

If they push you, warn them that you have 144,001 atheist friends, so you have the JW's outnumbered. That'll scare 'em off.

Or I could just turn on god mode and talk to them as I do on some threads here.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Offline Nick

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #14 on: August 10, 2013, 07:45:39 PM »
Never understood their logic.  If only 144,000 are going to be picked to go to heaven then they seem to be hurting themselves by trying to make more of them.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline pianodwarf

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #15 on: August 10, 2013, 07:58:45 PM »
Never understood their logic.  If only 144,000 are going to be picked to go to heaven then they seem to be hurting themselves by trying to make more of them.

It actually makes sense to me.  JWs believe that Yahweh's original purpose was for man to live forever in an earthly paradise, and that that is still Yahweh's plan.  When judgment day comes, there will be 144,000 chosen to go to heaven to be "kings with Christ" or something like that, and the rest of us will be immortal in the newly-remade earthly paradise.
[On how kangaroos could have gotten back to Australia after the flood]:  Don't kangaroos skip along the surface of the water? --Kenn

Offline neopagan

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #16 on: August 10, 2013, 08:11:18 PM »
^^^^And doing what??? Serving dinner each night to the 144k?

If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline pianodwarf

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #17 on: August 10, 2013, 08:13:21 PM »
^^^^And doing what??? Serving dinner each night to the 144k?

What the JWs I studied with told me was that after judgment day was complete and everything had been set right, we would then receive further instruction.
[On how kangaroos could have gotten back to Australia after the flood]:  Don't kangaroos skip along the surface of the water? --Kenn

Offline ParkingPlaces

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #18 on: August 10, 2013, 08:15:16 PM »
If I remember correctly, it is 144,000 virgin males that will be going to heaven. Presumably to help supply each of the muslim men with their reward of 72 virgins, you know, after they blow themselves up. I may have some of that a little mixed up, but I think I'm close.

Hey, with some of the fundy "scientists" claiming they have PhD's in geology simply because they have rocks in their head, I'm pretty sure that my insightful knowledge into matters of divinity ought to get me a PhD in that subject. Don't ya think? Huh!

Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Offline neopagan

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #19 on: August 10, 2013, 08:16:32 PM »
PD... "further instructions" like?

preheat oven to 375°
baste chicken with butter and garlic....

makes sense (not so much)   :P
« Last Edit: August 10, 2013, 08:18:21 PM by neopagan »
If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline Tero

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #20 on: August 10, 2013, 08:23:59 PM »
They left a magazine for me to read. What should I tell them when they come back next week?

On a semi-related note, my dog started barking at them as soon as they mentioned that "the creator will soon return". Sounds like I've found the antichrist. :P

Tell them to bring the creator with them next time, otherwise, no deal.

Offline Tero

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #21 on: August 10, 2013, 08:26:52 PM »
Wow, really?  The creator is coming back.  I guess I had better pick up around the house.
You can have my creator, the kids grew up. They did keep the Harry Potter set.

Offline pianodwarf

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #22 on: August 10, 2013, 08:32:51 PM »
PD... "further instructions" like?

preheat oven to 375°
baste chicken with butter and garlic....

makes sense (not so much)   :P

The ones I studied with said that there was no information about this in the bible at all, so they didn't really try speculate.
[On how kangaroos could have gotten back to Australia after the flood]:  Don't kangaroos skip along the surface of the water? --Kenn

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #23 on: August 10, 2013, 08:38:58 PM »
The local JW lady happened to stop by one day when my electricity had been shut off.  I was very upset.  She came back later that day with candles, a lighter and a couple bags of ice.  She stops by about once a month to see how I'm doing.  She is never pushy or overbearing. 
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline mrbiscoop

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #24 on: August 10, 2013, 09:38:59 PM »
  I look through the peep hole in the door and if I don't recognize them, and sometimes even when   I do, I don't open the door
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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Offline Chronos

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #25 on: August 11, 2013, 07:02:54 AM »
On a semi-related note, my dog started barking at them as soon as they mentioned that "the creator will soon return". Sounds like I've found the antichrist. :P

Naw, just a dog that is looking forward to seeing his parents again.

John 14:2 :: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

Offline Nick

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #26 on: August 11, 2013, 08:47:31 AM »
144,000 male virgins.  Ha, good luck with that.  I guess the Christians are right about climate change because the creator is going to make things a new.  Do we get new bodies also...if we are going to live forever I want a rock hard bod.  ;)
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline nogodsforme

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #27 on: August 11, 2013, 01:19:06 PM »
Hey you guys, as the resident former JW here, you all have got some things wrong. First of all, the bike, with shirts and ties are Mormons, not JW's. We wore "modest dress" but did not have a specific uniform.

The other thing to remember is, the more hostile and negative you are to a JW, the more they like it. We were supposed to be persecuted by "worldly" people. That meant that we were really witnessing to the people who needed it the most.

If you want to argue religion with them, feel free. They will not change their minds.

Finally, the point about there only being 144,000 serving with Jehovah in heaven is correct. And yes, there seems to be a contradiction with trying to get more converts when only that specific number get the good prize. A bunch of folks who did not heed the JW warnings will go to hell, or rather, to sleep for all eternity for being bad, bad, bad.

The rest get the (truly boring sounding) earthly paradise where attractive people all stand around in little racially matched family groups, sporting ethnic garb, smiling like idiots, and holding big baskets of fruit. Wild animals, looking really bored as well, will sit around being peaceful, ie doing nothing. At least that is what the illustrations in the literature always showed.

As a JW kid I knew I was not going to be one of the chosen few to go to heaven. But there was not much attraction to the earthly paradise, either. No playground rides, no tv, no rock music, no stores, no books, no sex. No houses, even.  What was the real difference between sleeping forever and standing around holding fruit forever? We would never get to experience any of that cool sin stuff that we were not allowed to do on earth because it was "worldly". The sleeping in hell people had a fun life before Armageddon, at least.
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline Chronos

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Re: Just got visited by JW's
« Reply #28 on: August 11, 2013, 01:48:10 PM »
Hey you guys, as the resident former JW here, you all have got some things wrong. First of all, the bike, with shirts and ties are Mormons, not JW's. We wore "modest dress" but did not have a specific uniform.

On the contrary, their normal mode of transportation is by foot. They dress like they are going to the Kentucky Derby. Most of women wear large-brim light-colored hats with flowers in them. It's like 1952.


John 14:2 :: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.