Author Topic: Funny Quote From a Christian  (Read 360 times)

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Offline Truth OT

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Funny Quote From a Christian
« on: July 11, 2013, 12:02:31 PM »
http://www.christianforums.net/showthread.php?t=53200&p=828692&viewfull=1#post828692

The link above contains the following question and subsequent answer. I found it to be sad and totally hilarious at the same time. I thought I'd share.

Subject: Can angels appear dark?????
 
Original Poster asks:
"So my questions is, can angels appear dark??? If not, what could it have been??? I am 99% sure my eyes weren't playing tricks. Thank you!"

The PRICELESS Answer From another Poster:
Quote
First, stop asking God to protect you from demons................ That is not going to help you. Find out who you are!!! They should be teaching this in church.

2nd...... Angels unless just walking around as people, radiate a very strong fear of the Lord over them. If one was in the room with you, it would seem as if the paint would melt off the walls by the awesome power and fear of God coming off the thing.

3rd....... Devils don't radiate much of anything. They have no power or life, they left the life and glory of God. You can tell sometimes because the temperature will drop greatly, other wise I have seen most of them who want to be dumb enough to physically show themselves as little tiny imp like things or black human shape type things. Like if one was standing in a lighted room the shape would be just dark or black.

4th....... Just because you see one show up don't mean anything. They are all over the place anyway like roaches. They are everywhere, back and forth, back and forth putting this in ones mind here then going to another.

5th........ Any fear of them then you might have some issues. They like to move things around and be stupid. Call your name at night, pull covers off the bed, shut a door, move your wallet, whatever.

The last one that I saw and I have no idea what it was thinking came into my room while I had just gotten in bed and sat on my legs as I got under the covers. A big fat black shaped one. Why?? Who knows...... but it's really irritating the nerve of some of them. I kicked at it and tried to just ignore it but it was sort of heavy, so I said, "You got about 3.5 sec to get off my legs or I will have to use the name of Jesus and make you look stupid." It got up right away and was gone. \

Though I have a scar on my nose from one, they can't actually hurt you physically, as in attack you or bite you. If your not obeying God, and have things in your life you know should not be there, violating your own conscience toward God, then you might have a big issue. They do kill many daily.
 

Offline Nam

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Re: Funny Quote From a Christian
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2013, 01:16:09 PM »
Are they talking about angels or Shaq's penis?

-Nam
A god is like a rock: it does absolutely nothing until someone or something forces it to do something. The only capability the rock has is doing nothing until another force compels it physically to move.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously - Humphrey

Offline rev45

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Re: Funny Quote From a Christian
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2013, 01:17:12 PM »
WTF did I just read?

Of course it was a demon what else could it have been?  The op even says that they are 99% sure it wasn't their eyes playing tricks on them.  And the op seems to be a very good judge of time as they mention "half a second" two times.  Plus they say they were not scared of it, as if it was never even there.

Here read a book.  It's free.
http://www.literatureproject.com/

Could a being create the fifty billion galaxies, each with two hundred billion stars, then rejoice in the smell of burning goat flesh?   Ron Patterson

Offline John 3 16

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Re: Funny Quote From a Christian
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2013, 01:31:30 PM »
Ha ha.....

I found it to be more sad and totally, unambiguously hilarious at the same time. I thought I'd share with you Truth OT.

and who then turn away from God. It is impossible to bring such people back to repentance; by rejecting the Son of God, they themselves are nailing him to the cross once again and holding him up to public shame. (Hebrews 6:6)
Are you a hatheist?  (hey-thee-ist)

A person who vocally hates on religious individuals, often criticizing such persons for being uneducated hillbillies.

Online jaimehlers

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Re: Funny Quote From a Christian
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2013, 01:33:23 PM »
^What does that have to do with the OP, John?

Offline Nick

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Re: Funny Quote From a Christian
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2013, 02:45:16 PM »
So if they are like cockroaches why have none of us seen any of these things?  Hey, how about setting up a web site to sell insurance against these kind of attacks?  Might bea million dollar idea.  Remember, I get a cut...or I will send the demons to collect.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline epidemic

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Re: Funny Quote From a Christian
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2013, 03:18:35 PM »
when you learn how the human eye and brain work you can easily see where people might see things that are actually not there.


There are usually three explainations for these things.

1) the mind playing tricks on you (assembling data incorrectly)
....a) the human brain likes to see patterns and familiar things
....b) evidence that it is a trick of the mind or psychosis.  No one else in the room ever sees them.  ;D

2) They are  really deamons that once you know of them you can see them regularly.   Sort of like when you buy a new car and suddenly you see them all over the place.  Once you see a deamon you see it all over the place.

3) Psychosis,  You are flat out nuts and you are seeing things because your brain is broken.  Everything you see, hear, feel and smell are all evaluated and processed by your brain.   Your brain if broken can make anything seem real or make nothing into something.  You are your brain.

Offline John 3 16

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Re: Funny Quote From a Christian
« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2013, 03:45:19 PM »
^What does that have to do with the OP, John?
^ ^It has nothing to do with the OP but it's got a lot to do with Truth OT.
Are you a hatheist?  (hey-thee-ist)

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Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: Funny Quote From a Christian
« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2013, 03:58:24 PM »
Remember Dark Angel with Jessica Alba & Michael Wetherby?  I liked that show until they started with the ridiculous animal hybrids...
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline Truth OT

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Re: Funny Quote From a Christian
« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2013, 04:44:47 PM »
The last paragraph is just............damn........

"Though I have a scar on my nose from one (a demon), they can't actually hurt you physically, as in attack you or bite you. If your not obeying God, and have things in your life you know should not be there, violating your own conscience toward God, then you might have a big issue. They do kill many daily."

C'mon man!

Offline ParkingPlaces

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Re: Funny Quote From a Christian
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2013, 04:53:52 PM »
If I lived in the world where I believed in unknowns like that, I'd just roll over and die. I like my world better, where demons don't exist so they can't get in my bedroom.

I've known several people, christian and otherwise, who had fears of unseen or barely glimpsed things. Folks, life is confusing enough without making shit up.
Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Offline jdawg70

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Re: Funny Quote From a Christian
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2013, 09:29:07 AM »
If I lived in the world where I believed in unknowns like that, I'd just roll over and die. I like my world better, where demons don't exist so they can't get in my bedroom.

I've known several people, christian and otherwise, who had fears of unseen or barely glimpsed things. Folks, life is confusing enough without making shit up.
Or, True Grit style:
"I do not entertain hypotheticals. The world itself is vexing enough."
"When we landed on the moon, that was the point where god should have come up and said 'hello'. Because if you invent some creatures, put them on the blue one and they make it to the grey one, you f**king turn up and say 'well done'."
- Eddie Izzard