But the church members are nice and the food is fantastic (Spinanch/Meat Pies, Arabic Pastries, strong coffee). Almost makes me want to attend . . . . almost . . . .
Ha! I think it's perfectly safe to go in that case
I don't think it can hurt in the slightest to keep your wife company. Just let them know why you are really there, so there are no misconceptions.
I've been through a somewhat similar situation - and it has worked out rather well.
I married into a Greek Orthodox family and I'll NEVER to this day miss the Easter feast with the family - the lamb on the spit is too awesome.
Weddings, baptisms, funerals ... all good food and opportunities to socialise.
I've never had any pressure from the Orthodox side to convert or believe - not even from my wife, who, interestingly, has gradually come round to my way of thinking anyway.
When my daughter was young I consented to her being baptised and also to attend some services with her grandmother - it meant a lot to grandma and I couldn't see too much harm being done to the child's mind at that stage. In exchange for this latitude I asked for the opportunity to bring my daughter up as a free thinker - exposed to many ideas - so that one day she could make her own decisions.
My wife (and her family) agreed with this approach. I think the key was that I've never rejected her culture, which includes these traditional religious family-oriented events. I'm sure at the time she was thinking the "truth" will win in the long run - and probably her ideas about the "truth" then were not the same as now, 12 years later. But that didn't matter then or now because it was agreed that I could expose my daughter to other ideas. That is the big prize!
Over the years I've worked constantly to keep my daughters mind wide open - and I make sure ALL the discussions occur in a family context, meal times, traveling in the car, etc - which has been good for all of us. My daughter is now 13 and we have healthy discussions about any and every topic around the dinner table most nights. No subjects are closed or taboo - including religious absurdities.
Your wife might be less flexible, I don't know, but the concept of nurturing open-minded little "free thinkers" might be sufficiently attractive to her as well - enough for both of you to enjoy the process of letting your children's minds blossom to full potential.
Hope that is helpful, or at least a way to get some food for thought